(Closed) Buy a house or plan a wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 3
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@dessilove:  We both finished school, worked and saved for about 3 years, bought the house first and then had the wedding a whole year after getting the house (we paid for the house and wedding ourselves, our income together is approximately 120K a year. 

Post # 4
133 posts
Blushing bee

Elope.  Then buy the house.  Sharing a mortgage outside of marriage can be tricky.

Post # 5
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999


If I could do it again, I’d elope and buy a house.

Post # 6
1728 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

We married first, then got a house (well, we started looking for a house while we were ENGAGED…it was murder getting to the ‘get a house’ part).


I’m with some of the others – I’d be hesitant to buy a house and share a mortgage outside of marriage (or to simply get a mortgage in one person’s name).

Our house is only in my husband’s name, and to be honest, I keep pushing him to change that. I’m not sure about all of the legalities, even though we’re married. If something happens to him, I could be frozen out. He just decided that since he got the mortgage as a single man, it would be easier to finish the process that way.

I didn’t and wouldn’t put a dime toward a house until we were both married. If he wanted to buy one himself, then add you into the mix legally later on, I might feel differently.


Post # 7
45 posts
  • Wedding: August 2015

We are buyin the house first (2014) and then the wedding (2015). I’m stressing more about the house!

Post # 8
2896 posts
Sugar bee

We wanted to be married before buying our house. But, I would never plan a 25K wedding, since I’d be willing to put that money on my house instead. Our plan is : having a budget wedding (5K or less) and buy a house the same year or the year after our wedding. I also told my FI I keep thinking about eloping too. Since the only thing we’ve bought so far are our rings and my (200$) dress, we haven’t booked a venue nor decided on a date, so no invites or STD sent either, it’s still time to decide if we want to keep our expenses minimal like @oldmatron suggested by eloping, or we’re sticking to our wedding plans but knowing it’ll cost a bit more in the end, and we might have a shorter or cheaper honeymoon, but we’ll see. What’s certain though, is that we’re not willing to spend a huge amount of money on our wedding because we do not want to push further away our dream to own a house. FI will be 39 by the end of his bachelor. That’s a huge priority for us.

Post # 9
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014


@dessilove:  you will probably get several different answers on this. Here’s what my FI and I did. FI graduated college in 2010 and I graduated in 2011. We rented for two years and got engaged in Nov. 2012. We decieded on an 18 month engagement to save for the wedding.

In the midst of being engaged I started the conversation about buying a house. We both agreed and started looking. While we were looking, I decieded that I would go back to school the Fall after we are married…so married in May 2014 start school August 2014. We ended up purchasing a home WELL below our budget at 168k it’s a 3 bedroom two and a half bath townhouse and we LOVE it. For now we can easily save for the wedding and pay our mortgage no problem. It will bit tougher once we are married and on one income as opposed to two. But honestly I’d rather own my home and build equity for the next 6 years while I’m getting my PhD than rent. 

Post # 11
145 posts
Blushing bee

@dessilove:  For me def wedding first because we’re not going to live together before married. Also, I don’t see why a wedding needs to be expensive enough to hurt buying a house. If a hourse is urgent, I’d elope rather than buying a house before married.

Post # 12
9146 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@oldmatron:  Good advice.

Post # 13
2612 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

We’re getting married first and then saving up for a house. But we both have our own apartments now and will live in my apartment for a year after we’re married to save up for a house. We’ve got the plan in place basically for how it should work out.

If we didn’t have our own place though as in your case, I would be much more motivated to go for the house first.

Post # 14
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

No question.  A house.  If it comes down to wedding OR house, house hands down.  I do not feel even the slightest hesitation when saying this. 

Post # 15
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@oldmatron:  What’s so tricky about it.  You buy it under both names, and that’s it.  Or you buy it under one name, and then do a quit-claim deed and change it to both of your names.  Am I missing something?  What’s the complication?

Post # 16
2188 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

I would buy a house.

I’d either elope or have a very small intimate wedding that didn’t cost a lot. I’d much rather have a nice home for years to come than a wedding that lasts a day.

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