(Closed) Buy a house or plan a wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 17
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We did both….but we had nearly a 2.5 year engagement. The 1st year we dedicated all saving to the wedding, the 2nd was to the house…which was good bc we didn’t find a house until after a year of house hunting. I originally wanted to live in an apt first and buy the house after getting married, but it all worked out great this way.

Since you are still in school, you might want to do the wedding first and use any money you get from the wedding for a down payment on a home….bc once you move in, its a money pit! lol

Post # 18
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@CookieCreamCakes:  If God forbid he dies (without a will), then the house goes to you.  If he dies (with a will), pretermitted spouse laws could kick in, and you would likely be protected.  Finally, under many states’ laws, a husband may not dispose of homestead property without the wife’s consent (even if he is the only one who owns the house). 

Post # 19
Member
2684 posts
Sugar bee

Fiance and I bought our house first and I’m so glad that we did.  We got into the market at the right time because there is nothing up for sale in our neighborhood right now.  If we had waited another year to buy a house, we would have had to increase our budget, look farther out, or compromise on features.  It was tough having to delay engagement and wedding plans, but absolutely worth it from a long-term perspective.  The silver lining is that we’re having our wedding in our awesome backyard and saving a bit of money in the process.

Post # 20
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

@AngelR88:  I don’t know where you live, but for example here if we buy a house after we’re married, it goes 50-50 if one of us dies or if we divorce. If we buy it common-law, the person who gives the downpayment (my FI) has the house and even after we marry, I’m not sure I’m entitled to anything. Unless of course, we went to a lawyer and pay for a contract. But there it goes : what’s the point of doing it twice, we preferred to get married (contract) then buy the house to secure each other in the future. That applies for a house and common savings for retirement, but also for health matters such as : if my SO has an accident tomorrow and is in a coma, even if I’m his common-law and we live together, I can’t make any decision regarding his condition, but if we’re married, I can. So for us it was definitely worth getting married first (even if it’s just a quick visit at the courthouse) before the house. 

Post # 21
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Id get married and then when you finish school i’d worry about getting a house that way you both have good income comming in to better save for the house! Well thats what im doing im graduating nursing school this semster geting married in a year then buying the house. 

Post # 22
Member
9674 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t buy a house together without being married.

Post # 23
Member
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@dessilove:  we were in the same boat. we were soooooooooooooooo close to buying a house. but our rent is super cheap right now. and we haven’t found a house we LOVE yet. so we are doing wedding and if we happen to find a house we love, then great. i just really want a house before i have a baby (if/when that happens). 

Post # 24
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@NauticalDisaster:  I am not talking about marriage v. house; I am talking about wedding v. house.  Wedding and marriage are not the same thing.  Getting married costs almost nothing (marriage license and have a notary). 

What state are you in?

Post # 25
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

@AngelR88:  I live in Canada. I thought your question was ”what’s the complication” (related to buying a house before getting married). For us it was a no-no for legal matters. 

Post # 26
Member
3263 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Seee, here’s the thing, we saved a LOT of money every month by buying a house (less per month payment and more energy efficient, etc. etc.). We just closed on it a couple months ago. Yes, it took a bunch out of savings for the wedding but the house will last much longer than our wedding day and was SO WORTH IT.

Post # 27
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@NauticalDisaster:  My comment re wedding v. marriage was in response to your last sentence talking about getting married before you buy a house.  As a general matter, I agree in getting married before buying a house.  I just do not agree with spending money on a wedding before you buy a house. 

I am in the U.S. and unfamiliar with Canada law, but familiar with U.S. law (I am a lawyer). I do not think buying a house before getting married is all that tricky here.  In many states, Florida for example, you can do a tenancy by the entirety even after you get married, by just doing a quit-claim deed that transfers title to both parties (very cheap process and you do not even need a lawyer for it).  Also, prettermitted spouse laws, intestacy rules, etc, are very favorable to spouses in the event of death. 

Post # 28
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee

@AngelR88:  True, I think it cases of death it’s not that complicated either, it’s more when it comes to divorce that the laws try to make it even between the two, and if the house was bought before the wedding, the spouse can’t get her share. 

Post # 29
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would have a wedding, then buy a house.  

Post # 30
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@NauticalDisaster:  Again, it depends on the law where you live.  Here, many times the non-buying spouse is contributing to the house by making repairs, using their income to pay for the mortgage, etc, so that’s why many states, especially those using equitable distribution, end up doing 50/50 to take into account the person’s contributions after the marriage.  If there is equity on the house, that is also an asset, and the person who paid the downpayment might get a little bit extra in the divorce. Unless you have a pre-nup (and a good one at that), there are so maannyyyyyy ways a lawyer can get you some of that house even if you did not technically buy it.   

 

Post # 31
Member
5272 posts
Bee Keeper

Wedding first then house. I think buying a house outside of marriage is risky. We had a small intimate destination wedding to save money then bought our house 2 months after the wedding 🙂

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