(Closed) Buy a house or plan a wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 47
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Elope or have an intimate Destination Wedding and then you can come back and have a small restaurant reception with other family members/friends who couldn’t make it to the wedding then get your house. If I could do it again, I would have had an intimate Destination Wedding with only 15 guests and came back and had a restaurant reception. Now that we have spent so much money on the wedding (and it didn’t even come out great) we not only could not afford a honeymoon but also we don’t have anything saved for a house 🙁

Post # 48
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

House, house, house… I would elope or have a small wedding, then look into a house. I would get married first, when everything becomes community property, and then shop for a house. Do not spend a ridiculous amount on a wedding if you want a house. Many folks pay a down payment for a house on a wedding. Good luck!

Post # 49
Member
475 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

The more logical thing would be to purchase a home and either elope or have a very small, intimate wedding. What kind of wedding do you want? Something average sized or even big? Do you have any money saved up? I know for me it’s always been my dream to get married and plan my perfect wedding. Fiance and I had saved up some money prior to getting engaged that will not be used toward our wedding. We are keeping that money aside and living at home to put away money in a separate account to save for the wedding. Hopefully after we marry we can add any money we receive from the wedding to our other account & hopefully be closer to a down payment on a house.

I’d say go for the house over the wedding, but I completely understand if you still want a wedding. I know my wedding will set us back a little bit but it’s something I’ve always wanted and am willing to wait a little longer for a home.

Post # 50
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We bought a house first and will be married 2 & a half years after that. 

Would not have done it any other way! 

Post # 51
Member
7369 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You can have both. Elope or city hall wedding then house. I wouldn’t feel comfortable buying a home outside of a legal commitment. A small cost effective wedding wont take away from having a home soon after.

 

Post # 52
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My Fiance and I chose the house first, we will be married Oct 2014.  Each person and situation is different but IMO house first always wins.  My Fiance and I are in our early-mid 30’s so our situation is different then yours, but I agree with PP – school, house then wedding. 

We decieded to buy a house now because it is a buyers market and you can build equity.

 

 

 

 

Post # 53
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t beilive in buying property with someone I am not married too but that just me. Although it was a moot point as we both own our own places, and we most likely aren’t planning on buying houses any time soon.

I don’t think it’s impossible to work towards both goals. A lot of people I know buy a house before getting married, during their wedding process, or a year later.

All I have to say is if you aren’t the type to elope don’t do it. If you have decent jobs and handle your money well you will be able to do both.

Post # 54
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

We got engaged 5 months ago and have not done a single spec of wedding planning as we want to buy a house first. We are saving like mad but even then we’ll be lucky to have a mortgage deposit in a year- we will buy the house before we even begin planning the wedding and the house purchase is likely wipe out our savings so we’ll need to start wedding saving from scratch- I want to have a very inexpensive and small wedding as I can’t justify spending a ton of money on a party but even then it will take us a while to save so I fully anticipate having a 3 year engagement.

I always said I wouldn’t buy a house with my SO til we were engaged so I am glad of that- also to protect ourselves I plan to have a survivorship destination in the disposition of the house, effectively a will that means if one of us dies the other gets their share of the house (Which would be in joint names).

Post # 55
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@dessilove:  i would get engaged put the down payment on the house and then wedding plan slowly 

 

our wedding got put off a year for a house but the house is amazing so thats ok … part of me wants to elope b.c. i dont like waiting lol (also i never esante a big wedding till my mom a sinle mom let em know how much it means to her that she sees it and so do the people she loves) soo wedding is importnat 

Post # 56
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

I am also in Nursing school & my boyfriend and I are living with his parents also. I will be graduating in May so our plan is to stay here until I graduate & get a nursing job. He has been able to save his money for a down payment on a house while we are living here. I haven’t been able to work that much while in Nursing school since it’s so intense. Trust me we are both sick of our living situation but we know it’s the best thing until I’m done with school and we are just trying to stick it out a little longer. So our first priority is to get a house. We know we are going to get married but we want to get settled first on our own & financially stable first since we will also be paying for our own wedding. Hope this helps. Goodluck in Nursing school! 

Post # 57
Member
963 posts
Busy bee

@dessilove:  I think buying hte house first is better. The wedding is going to cost a lot of money and you two will want your own place after the wedding for sure. If you buy the house first then you can get that cost out of the way, save up a bit and then have a wedding. 

If you do it the other way around, you’ll spend money on a wedding and then want to buy a house and you won’t have that time in between to save. 

For us, we bought the house, moved in and 5 months later got engaged. We’ve had about a year engagement.

Post # 58
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@AngelR88:  deciding how to divide the asset if they break up is harder when they aren’t married because some states have fewer legal protections for unmarried uncoupling.

Post # 59
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@dessilove:  I would just go to the court, get the marriage license first, then put $ down for a house. After that, save up $ to have a small and nice wedding

Post # 60
Member
997 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We decided to have the wedding first and wait to buy a house. We will still be in school after the wedding (grad school for me, finishing up his BA for him) and don’t know where our careers will take us so we cannot commit to a location just yet. We do already have an apartment and will live there for probably about 4 more years.

Post # 61
Member
4697 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@dessilove:  House!

Although.. you can have both if you choose to elope/ courthouse.

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