(Closed) Buyer’s remorse! I hate my wedding dress

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 73
Member
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mhackney21: You could find a beaded/sparkly applique…It’s like a sash, but without any ribbon or tie. You can have it sewn into the front of the dress so you won’t have to buy a sash to wrap around the dress. I’ve seen it done, and it’s beautiful. That way, you won’t have to worry about fussing with the back at all πŸ˜‰

I found a really prettty and sparkly, skinnier bridal sash with rhinestones (about 1 inch) that won’t distract the beauty of the back of your dress: http://www.etsy.com/listing/80434547/isla-braided-rhinestone-beaded-bridal?ref=sr_gallery_8&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=bridal+sash+rhinestone&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=

I found one on Etsy to give you an idea (this is only 8 dollars!…it’s on the small side though): http://www.etsy.com/listing/80548383/hot-fix-rhinestone-applique?ref=sc_3

Post # 74
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mhackney21: I think you look great. But I do think that a poof underneath will really help. I myself am having an outdoor wedding and I bought the AA snow white which is a giant poof. Dont worry, you WONT be overdressed to your own wedding! 

But a belt + hoop would make that dress fantastic. 

Post # 77
Member
15 posts
Newbee

I understand you want to please your fiance.  However, you already picked a dress based on his criteria and you are not happy with it.  I don’t know why you would continue to jeopardize how you feel just to make him completely pleased.  At this point, you should look at is as a compromise of picking a dress he would like, but adding things to it that you like.  it is YOUR dress. As far as him not liking sashes go, okay. Tons of dresses have embellishment at the waistline without it being an actual belt or sash. you seem to like the idea (not to mention most every one has agreed it would look stunning) so how about you find one you like (maybe one that is not sparkly so your Fiance could be okay with it, while you can have the benefit of defining your waist, visually breaking up the front plane of the dress and adding interest and dimension) and have the ribbon ended and sewn on at the back seam so there isn’t anything on the back? i chose this sash for a couple reasons: the dress here is a similar silhouette, it is fabric so it would blend into the gown, and it isn’t sparkly. This isn’t really a sash to me, it’s just a flower detail.  

http://www.etsy.com/listing/71855502/ivory-triple-flower-bridal-sash-with?ref=sr_gallery_17&ga_search_submit=&ga_ref=auto&ga_search_query=dress+pearl+sash&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

Post # 78
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

SO i completely understand buyers remorse… i HATED the first dress I bought and knew it before the gown even arrived. SO I found the gown of my dreams and purchased that then I went straight to the computer and put the first one up for sale within a month I found a bride who absolultely adored the dress (and she looked amazing. I sold the dress for just a little under what I had paid and in the end I truly realized that although it was a crazy horrible ordeal, and it did suck to lose that money… it was meant to be because she never would have had that dress and it was made for her. The only way I got my dress and she got her dress was because of my giant faux pas… Just some food for thought.

 

(and if you decide not to keep the dress… which you shouldnt if you are at all unhappy with it, feel free to contact me and I can give you all the links to where I put mine up for sale)

 

But dont settle for a dress… but also keep in mind that you fiance loves you (plus how much is really going to notice about the dress) Buy one you love for you… he truly will be happy because you’ll be glowing (and he wont even see the dress through that beauty) if you love the dress and you feel amazing. Kiss

Post # 79
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Wait a minute…YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!  I completely understand about buyer’s remorse, as I am a two dress bride myself, and reading your OP, I felt like I had written it myself!  But that being said, though…YOU LOOK STUNNING.  Honestly, I am the Bee that ALWAYS encourages other Bee’s with remorse to trust their gut and search for a seond gown, but in this situation, I really do not think you should change it.  I love the idea of the belt too!  You are a beautiful girl, and the simplicity of the dress puts the emphasis on your beautiful face —  you don’t need a dress with a whole lot of hoopla!  I LOVE the ruffles…obsessed.  Honestly, I would tell you if I thought you should can the dress and scrounge to find another last minute.  But I think you should stick with this one!  πŸ™‚  Of course, ultimately, if you literally feel disgusted in the dress, take it off, get a new one.  You don’t want the dress bringing your spirits down the day of, and you should feel beautiful and confident in what you wear.  However, I truly hope you make peace with this dress, because you wear it beautifully!!  Best of luck πŸ™‚

Post # 80
Member
861 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@mhackney21: Wow, your fiance is really serious. Mine is clueless, but it’s still cute. He calls my babydoll tops a skirt :/ LOL! Hmmm, it just sounds like you are kindly wanting to please him but also want to feel beautiful for the sake of yourself (and there’s nothing wrong with either of those).

I think you might want to consider doing the “less is more” technique. I’m not sure how you are having your hair styled, but maybe a knock-out/dramatic (not the scary kind) hairstyle and make-up look will do the job? Maybe some simple pieces of jewelry will dress it up.

I honestly think your dress needs nothing and that you are beautiful the way you are. But, just trying to help because we all have opinions! πŸ˜‰ 

Post # 81
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@mhackney21:

Did you ask your fiance what DOES he like? What does he want you to wear for the wedding day? What changes he personally would suggest to make the dress more attractive?

 

Post # 82
Member
3628 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

At this point, I think it’s time to have a serious talk with your fiance. If I were you, I would let him know that you are the Bride and you need to feel beautiful on your day, and that he is realy stressing you out. It seems unfair that this is way more about pleasing him than about you choosing what you really love.

Post # 83
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee

Geez, your Fiance is stressing ME out! I think Evie19 is 110% right. Talk to your Fiance and tell him you’re going to choose something that makes you feel beautiful. Then do it! Find something, be it accessories or even a new dress, that makes you feel beautiful!

For the record, I think you look stunning in your dress.

Post # 84
Member
27 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I totally feel your pain!  I haven’t purchased my dress yet but my Fiance hates tulle, lace, and beading.  “so basically you hate wedding dresses” was my comment.  Mean while, I love the antique lace look and I am completely ignoring him πŸ™‚  He would have me looking like I was in a pagent! Most men have no idea about how to pull things together so instead of asking your Fiance, just show him the dress with the sash (that you can return) or veil or whatever.  You can always borrow my line…”do I ever look bad?!” You honestly look fantastic and now you just need to focus on the hair, some hot mama shoes, and a killer necklace.  I recommend etsy! 

Post # 85
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I actually am hating my non refundable sample dress I bought. I got way swept up in the “it will be gone tomorrow” mentaility. Definate buyers remorse. It may look alright but it is not me. My Fiance “gave me permission” to go buy another dress, and poor never worn dress will be doomed to ebay.

I would have a serious conversation with Fiance, if you two can afford another dress I would go get one(maybe if you don’t find anything then okay you tried). You will be much happier with your photos. The last thing you need to worry about is if you look good on your wedding day, and your dress plays a big part of that.

But I am also confused is OP’s Fiance actually telling you what to wear or do you keep asking his opinion? By yOP’s posts it seems like its going both ways, like Fiance and OP are deciding together. But some other bees are interpreting it like he is making hard rules on what OP can and cannot wear..

Post # 86
Member
3628 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Captain013: That’s because it seems OP really wants to wear a sash or brooch, and her Fiance is dead-set against it or anything beaded/sprarkly.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s what I’ve come to understand.

OP, I think you look so gorgeous. I agree with others who are amazed how good you look without your hair fixed or professional makeup done in that pic…I can only imagine how you will look day-of! I want you to feel beautiful on your wedding day. I hope you can find a look you are happy with, and I also hope Fiance will let you know that no matter what you wear you are beautiful to him! Which I’m sure you are!

 

Post # 87
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Aw, I think you look gorgeous in your dress! Weddings are so stressful, you cant make everyone happy and they are not being helpful by just telling you what they don’t like. Lots of other bees have had good suggestions, I think that a sash would be the best to define your waist better, it is just getting a bit lost in the ruffles. A thicker one would probably work better, I was thinking something with a bit of subtle sparkle so it doesn’t overwhelm your Fiance πŸ˜‰ You can get the ends cut and your tailor to sew it on so that you don’t have the ends tied in the back, which I agree would compete with the tiered ruffles.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/67930427/sterling-belt-in-ivory-silver?ref=sr_gallery_20&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=ivory+sash+beaded&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_page=8&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

sort of like the effect you get with the Watters Maria dress

http://watters.com/Product/WtooBrides/10008/

Maybe you should take your dress into a salon and you could try some sahes, or a cute bolero or a hoop or mermaid crinoline and some fancy hair pieces instead of veils? See what it looks like all together rather than trying to imagine it. And remember how happy you are in the dress and that should be enough for everyone else. You were smiling so big in that photo with your dress, don’t let doubts of what other people think take away from that!!!

 

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