(Closed) Buyer’s remorse! I hate my wedding dress

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 79
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Wait a minute…YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!  I completely understand about buyer’s remorse, as I am a two dress bride myself, and reading your OP, I felt like I had written it myself!  But that being said, though…YOU LOOK STUNNING.  Honestly, I am the Bee that ALWAYS encourages other Bee’s with remorse to trust their gut and search for a seond gown, but in this situation, I really do not think you should change it.  I love the idea of the belt too!  You are a beautiful girl, and the simplicity of the dress puts the emphasis on your beautiful face —  you don’t need a dress with a whole lot of hoopla!  I LOVE the ruffles…obsessed.  Honestly, I would tell you if I thought you should can the dress and scrounge to find another last minute.  But I think you should stick with this one!  ๐Ÿ™‚  Of course, ultimately, if you literally feel disgusted in the dress, take it off, get a new one.  You don’t want the dress bringing your spirits down the day of, and you should feel beautiful and confident in what you wear.  However, I truly hope you make peace with this dress, because you wear it beautifully!!  Best of luck ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 80
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@mhackney21: Wow, your fiance is really serious. Mine is clueless, but it’s still cute. He calls my babydoll tops a skirt :/ LOL! Hmmm, it just sounds like you are kindly wanting to please him but also want to feel beautiful for the sake of yourself (and there’s nothing wrong with either of those).

I think you might want to consider doing the “less is more” technique. I’m not sure how you are having your hair styled, but maybe a knock-out/dramatic (not the scary kind) hairstyle and make-up look will do the job? Maybe some simple pieces of jewelry will dress it up.

I honestly think your dress needs nothing and that you are beautiful the way you are. But, just trying to help because we all have opinions! ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

Post # 81
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@mhackney21:

Did you ask your fiance what DOES he like? What does he want you to wear for the wedding day? What changes he personally would suggest to make the dress more attractive?

 

Post # 82
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

At this point, I think it’s time to have a serious talk with your fiance. If I were you, I would let him know that you are the Bride and you need to feel beautiful on your day, and that he is realy stressing you out. It seems unfair that this is way more about pleasing him than about you choosing what you really love.

Post # 83
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

Geez, your Fiance is stressing ME out! I think

View original reply
Evie19 is 110% right. Talk to your Fiance and tell him you’re going to choose something that makes you feel beautiful. Then do it! Find something, be it accessories or even a new dress, that makes you feel beautiful!

For the record, I think you look stunning in your dress.

Post # 84
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I totally feel your pain!  I haven’t purchased my dress yet but my Fiance hates tulle, lace, and beading.  “so basically you hate wedding dresses” was my comment.  Mean while, I love the antique lace look and I am completely ignoring him ๐Ÿ™‚  He would have me looking like I was in a pagent! Most men have no idea about how to pull things together so instead of asking your Fiance, just show him the dress with the sash (that you can return) or veil or whatever.  You can always borrow my line…”do I ever look bad?!” You honestly look fantastic and now you just need to focus on the hair, some hot mama shoes, and a killer necklace.  I recommend etsy! 

Post # 85
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I actually am hating my non refundable sample dress I bought. I got way swept up in the “it will be gone tomorrow” mentaility. Definate buyers remorse. It may look alright but it is not me. My Fiance “gave me permission” to go buy another dress, and poor never worn dress will be doomed to ebay.

I would have a serious conversation with Fiance, if you two can afford another dress I would go get one(maybe if you don’t find anything then okay you tried). You will be much happier with your photos. The last thing you need to worry about is if you look good on your wedding day, and your dress plays a big part of that.

But I am also confused is OP’s Fiance actually telling you what to wear or do you keep asking his opinion? By yOP’s posts it seems like its going both ways, like Fiance and OP are deciding together. But some other bees are interpreting it like he is making hard rules on what OP can and cannot wear..

Post # 86
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

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@Captain013: That’s because it seems OP really wants to wear a sash or brooch, and her Fiance is dead-set against it or anything beaded/sprarkly.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s what I’ve come to understand.

OP, I think you look so gorgeous. I agree with others who are amazed how good you look without your hair fixed or professional makeup done in that pic…I can only imagine how you will look day-of! I want you to feel beautiful on your wedding day. I hope you can find a look you are happy with, and I also hope Fiance will let you know that no matter what you wear you are beautiful to him! Which I’m sure you are!

 

Post # 87
Member
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Aw, I think you look gorgeous in your dress! Weddings are so stressful, you cant make everyone happy and they are not being helpful by just telling you what they don’t like. Lots of other bees have had good suggestions, I think that a sash would be the best to define your waist better, it is just getting a bit lost in the ruffles. A thicker one would probably work better, I was thinking something with a bit of subtle sparkle so it doesn’t overwhelm your Fiance ๐Ÿ˜‰ You can get the ends cut and your tailor to sew it on so that you don’t have the ends tied in the back, which I agree would compete with the tiered ruffles.

http://www.etsy.com/listing/67930427/sterling-belt-in-ivory-silver?ref=sr_gallery_20&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=ivory+sash+beaded&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_page=8&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_facet=handmade

sort of like the effect you get with the Watters Maria dress

http://watters.com/Product/WtooBrides/10008/

Maybe you should take your dress into a salon and you could try some sahes, or a cute bolero or a hoop or mermaid crinoline and some fancy hair pieces instead of veils? See what it looks like all together rather than trying to imagine it. And remember how happy you are in the dress and that should be enough for everyone else. You were smiling so big in that photo with your dress, don’t let doubts of what other people think take away from that!!!

 

Post # 88
Member
424 posts
Helper bee

Hi! So I didn’t read all of the posts but I saw that you were considering adding a sash but your fiance doesn’t like sashes.  I think you look absolutely gorgeous in the dress!!  I just added a “sash” to my dress because I think it needed some sparkle.  It didn’t wrap around the whole way because it looked better partially wrapped around.  I think our dresses are similar in the back so maybe you can add something like I did if you don’t want it to look like a typical sash.  They just took something off of another dress and sewed it on.

Post # 89
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow! Your fiance is stressing me out, too!  I don’t think my fiance even knows what a sash is…much less has an opinion about them.

Anyway, I know you said that there are 6 layers underneath your dress but I still think it needs something to give it a little structure, like this: http://www.dressesshop.com/products/Glamorous-Mermaid-nylon-and-Tulle-Floor-length-Wedding-Petticoats-petticoat0002.html . It’s not about teh dress being “poufy” it’s about it having the proper shape and staying that way. If the bottom is properly flared out (not poofed), it will make your waist look smaller and you may not need or want the sash that so offends your fiance. It’s all about proportions.

 

An applique or a brooch where the dress begins to flare out  at your leg (on the side) could be beautiful and and add the visual interest you have been looking for. 

I agree that a beaded ribbon headband would be GORGEOUS on you. 

Post # 93
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Personally, I’m really surprised you hate the dress that much.  I think you look stunning and skinny!  It may not be your dream dress but try to remember that here’s an honest, objective stranger looking at the pictures and thinking, wow!  She looks fantastic! 

I think a sparkly sash and blingy jewelry would really play up the dress’s potential!

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