(Closed) Buying a House Together Before Marriage

posted 8 years ago in Home
  • poll: In my situation, what would you do??

    I'd never buy a house with someone I'm not married to. You never know what might happen.

    I think it's fine to start looking for a house once you're engaged.

    I'd go ahead and buy a house with someone I really trusted, engaged or not!

    Other (Explain below!)

  • Post # 17
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We bought our house in dec 10, he proposed sept 11, we got married aug 12. I think of the three, the house purchase was the most exciting for me 🙂 

    Post # 18
    1542 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I bought a house with my fiance before we got engaged – cus i knew the engagement was coming soon (it came on the day we closed actually) It made me nervous but we knew we were committed to each other – we were already living together. We wanted a house and we wanted to get married – we didn’t see any reason to wait on the house just because we didn’t have a certain piece of paper and a wedding band. We knew what we wanted and we knew we were gonna get there. We just decided to mix up the order. If your engaged -i don’t understand what the doubt is.

    Post # 19
    2295 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    View original reply
    @inky_1:  Yeah, sorry, that’s crappy advice you got in my opinion. So they’re assuming you’d mortgage a second property under your name only as a rental?

    If you have enough assets to have two mortgages between the two of you (one each), then you have enough assets to qualify for the 2nd mortgage jointly even with the primary mortgage.

    You do NOT want to be tied up in a mess with your primary residence when dealing with grief if something were to happen. It’s one thing to not be on a car loan and the car gets repo’d while trying to deal with the aftermath of a death. It is a totally different mess to not be on the mortgage of the home if someone passes away.

    Not having both parties on the mortgage is just as bad as not having life insurance, in the case of an early passing, in my opinion. And most financially responsible people (which it sounds like you definitely are!) would not go without life insurance at a relatively young age.

    I don’t know who gave you the advice, but there are lots out there that put credit games above all else. Security is worth so much more.

    Everyone should have both spouses on ALL the bills – even credit cards and cell phones, even if they’re only “yours” and you’re the only person that uses them. You never know when the spouse is going to need to take over dealing with that company – if one of you dies, is ill, is in an accident, gets stuck out of the country, whatever. It is getting harder and harder to get companies to talk to you if you aren’t on the account.

    Post # 20
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My brother and now SIL bought their house together after dating for 4 months. Seemed crazy at the time but my brother is very impulsive. He proposed to her 8 months later. They said they just knew they were meant to be right away and didn’t have a probolem jumping in to it. 3 years later they are still in wedded bliss and have the cutest baby girl!

    Post # 22
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    My Fiance bought our house in July, he & I work 1 hour apart and I was commuting 3 hours a day to the house he had when I moved in with him. So, we picked a half way point and he bought a house there. We just got engaged last month. You can what if things to death but ultimately you have to make the decision that seems right to you both and don’t second guess it. You plan on getting married, you’ll need a home, go for it. None of us have any guarantees even if we’ve been married 20 years.

    Post # 23
    2417 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I would buy a house together as long as we were engaged.

    Post # 25
    79 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We bought a house together before we were engaged. Similarly, the loan was only in his name and based on his income because we bought right when I was finishing law school and, despite having a job lined up, I didn’t start work until after the bar exam. Both of our names are on the deed. It made sense for us because we were relocating from NYC (where my law school was) to Atlanta, we had the money, and had no desire to move again for several years. It made no sense to rent. We got engaged six weeks after closing, once I started work. It was perfect for us and no one was judgmental about it. If it works you two, go for it!

    Post # 26
    8879 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    DH and I got engaged Sept 2011 and bought a house together Dec 2011.  No regrets! 🙂

    Post # 27
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Just make sure your rights are protected by using a real estate attorney or broker who can explain survivorship rights and when/whether to refinance after you get married so that the documents are updated.  Also, keep in mind that banks tend to give better rates to married couples than to two singles buying a house.  Not to mention there is a lot less paperwork.

    Post # 28
    15280 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We bought when we were engaged.  All the money for the down came from me, however he was on the loan and deed.  Honestly, if I were him, there’s no way I would put someones name on the deed if they werent held responsibly on the loan as well.  Legally, though you say you would just leave and give it back, you could totally screw him since the deed says you own it too. 

    Post # 29
    5473 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I started looking at houses to purchase on my own right around the time MrDane proposed.  We were engaged by the time we moved into the house, but I bought it with my own money and my own name.  I did buy it with the intention of living in it together, and staying there after marriage and building a marital home there.  We decided against a joint purchase as large as a home prior to marriage.  However, we did buy a car together before we were married because I happened to have better credit and got a lower interest rate so we went on the loan & title together.

    Post # 31
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I feel like that in some states if your name is going to be on the deed then it also has to be on the mortgage… That may be something to check on, if you havent already.(Please note – I have no evidence to support this statement.  I just thought that Ive heard it somewhere)

    EDIT – I just did a quick Google search.. and I think this varies state to state.  There was also some info about being on the deed, and the mortgage but not the promissory note?  Sounds too complicated for me. 

    Regardless, best of luck!  Buying a house is an exciting time!

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