Buying a house while engaged

posted 5 months ago in Engagement
Post # 16
5923 posts
Bee Keeper

bctoquebec :  But common law would apply to dating as well as engaged, the law doesnt give a shit about a ring lol. 

Post # 17
577 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Personally I waited till we were married and would recommend that. Another logistical thing to think of, if you plan to change your name…. that’s just even more paperwork you’ll have to change after your name change goes through. 

Post # 19
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

bibliophilacticbee :  We bought our first hosue together in September mid-engagement

I feel like if you doubt whether you should buy a house during your engagament (what if something happens?) then why are you getting married? If you doubt that much…

It’ll be complicated either way if you ended it. You’ll have to divide the property either way. So if the market is good, and you have a good opp to buy, then I say absolutely do it. 

Post # 20
1321 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I’d say it’s iffy to buy being engaged but if you do, make sure your legal protections are in place. We were hunting while engaged but the process took well over a year so by the time we actually got into contract we were married which is just how things worked out. My problem was, I was planning to change my name at the time and hadn’t done it yet and now all our legal papers have my maiden name and would be $700+ to change just the name on those documents to refile etc…PITA that part, had a notation at closing put in about the name thing but it still bugs me to this day 

Post # 21
237 posts
Helper bee

We bought when we were engaged. I owned a condo while we were dating that was getting too snug for the two of us so we bought in January and got married in September. We had started looking before we were engaged

Post # 22
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2019 - USA

bibliophilacticbee :  I’m not a lawyer but you should definitely look into property laws in your area to make sure what your rights would be to the house if you don’t plan on being on the deed. A cohabitation agreement isn’t a bad idea either. 

Post # 23
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

bibliophilacticbee :  My fiance and I bought a house together two years before we were even engaged haha

Do what makes sense financially and what you’re comfortable with. If it makes more sense from a buyers perspective to buy during a certain time of the year than another, then do that. Whether the wedding comes before or after really isn’t relevant unless it matters to YOU for some personal reason. 

Post # 24
778 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

My Fiance and I looked at our current house before we were even engaged – we’d only been dating about a year and a half. I loved it, he loved it, so he bought it himself. It’s in his name, I’ve always paid half of the mortagage, and we’ve already got 3 years’ worth of payments into it. That’s also an avenue to walk down.

Post # 25
269 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: St. petersburg, FL

My Fiance and I were house hunting while we were engaged. I ended up buying our current home on my own and he kept the house he was previously living in in his own name, so we each have our “separate” houses. I wanted to buy on my own since we were engaged and not yet married. Once we get married it won’t matter much so we just kept everything separate. 

Edited to add: He rents his other home now (still owns it) and keeps that money to pay the mortgage.

He pays me half of our mortgage for the house we live in currently and we split renovations and upgrades to our current house and any repairs for the rental property.

Post # 26
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Baton Rouge, LA

We’ve been together seven years (living together for six), and got engaged this last December; we plan to get married this November.  We’re in the process of buying a house.   For us it was a few factors: our lease is up at the end of March, and we don’t want to commit to another year.  We found a fantastic house at a great price right where we would like to live, and don’t want to risk mortgage rates going up again.  Finally, I really want a fall wedding (my fiance is great with that, but I he’d elope tomorrow if he thought I’d be happy with that), and we’re fine buying the house first.

It’s whatever works for you.

Post # 27
72 posts
Worker bee

Me and my FH bought a house way before getting engaged, and then have just moved house while being engaged. We didn’t bother with any legal agreements, and we’ve both been paying in for so long now that I just see it as our house equally (even though technically I paid in more).

If you’re worried about it, I’d just have your solicitor draw up an agreement when they are doing the other legal work. That way your deposit is protected. 

Post # 28
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

We’ve been together 5 years, started looking to buy a house together last spring (after 4.5 years of dating), was waiting for a house that fit our standards (we’re in Vancouver so… market isn’t great, especially for young people). We got engaged last December, and then a month later found the perfect house, put an offer down, and it was accepted.

Not to be judgy, but just to play devil’s advocate. You said “Other than the potential difficulties if we broke up, does anybody have thoughts I should consider before buying a house with my fiancé instead of waiting until after we are married?” My fiance and I both felt like if we were ready to be engaged, we were ready to buy a house together. The engagement is a pretty big commitment from our POV. While the wedding is more “final,” engagement is also a big commitment considering the cost of the ring, time value of wedding planning, etc. If you feel like you’re not ready to commit to buying the house… could there be other issues and anxieties that you’re concerned about?

The only thing that might be a constraint on doing both engagement and house buying is the financial constraints – can you afford both? We were in wedding planning mode right after we got engaged, but then now with the house purchase, we need to figure out how we’re going to buy furniture (we’re moving from a 2BR apt to a 5BR house), do renos, etc. So our wedding planning is less of a priority because a wedding is essentially just a party whereas the house is forever.

Just my two cents!

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