Post # 1
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
Okay, I love my engagement ring, honestly. It wasn’t pricey, it isn’t a huge flashy rock, hell i will be honest it’s not even gold, its sterling silver. and that’s fine with me. My Fiance works a minimum wage job, it wasn’t easy for him to find a ring he thought I’d like in his price range. so, here’s where I get to the point, I love the rings, it came as a set with the wedding band. It’s so sweet and lovely, but I really like the idea of two bands. my mom told me that was for people who had been married at least 5 years, but I think it should be okay for me to have two bands right after getting married. I just want a little more sparkle, I wouldn’t over due it and make the three rings look really mismatched, (but I do love non matching rings, thats a total obsession of mine!) Problem is, i know my Fiance can’t afford another ring, and I’d feel bad even asking him to buy another one. I make more money than he does, not a ton more, but still enough. I want to buy my own second band, is that so horrible? Would it make me seem ungrateful? I want to wear them all together, do my own mismatched set! I just don’t want to make him feel bad 🙁 what should I do? just scrap the idea of a second band until we’ve been married awhile, or buy my own to go with what he bought?
Post # 3
Member
11394 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
You could get the new band as your something new for your wedding day! If anyone asks tell them that & I think thats a beautiful story!
As far as having a second band after so many years of marriage. Alot of people do think that. But some people get two bands before the big day or right after or even on the 1 year anniversary!
Post # 4
Member
14405 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Personally, I would scrap the idea and wait, but more for financial reasons than anything else. If he’s working min wage and you’re just making a little more and you both are just getting by… and it may hurt his feelings for you to buy your own second band.. perhaps its better to just stick with the one, and wait for the 1 or 5 yrs anniversary to add another band or upgrade down the road when in a better financial situation, which is why many people wait for that second band.
Post # 5
Member
645 posts
Busy bee
@RAWR.its.BREN: I would talk to him about it… I know a lot of men might feel like that it something that they will need to provide for their wife. (Rather than you paying for it)… I don’t really think that you need to me married for a while….all that matters is that you are happy with the rings that you are wearing on your finger every day.
I’ve seen plenty of the bees with a three ring sandwich… e-ring in the middle.
Post # 6
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
I don’t see why you can’t buy yourself a second band! I paid for both of my wedding bands.
maybe tell your husband first: like: “hey, I’m thinking about buying myself a second band to add to my wedding set, to balance it out.” or something to that effect. make it sound like it’s no big deal. if you frame it a certain way, I think most guys would be cool about it.
oh also, I LOVE your screen name!
Post # 7
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
I love the look of 2 bands and I plan on getting 2 as well, but we are also having 2 weddings. I say if you want 2, get them but I would tread carefully when talking to him about this. It could make him feel as though what he was able to already get you was not enough and it could realllllly hurt his feelings. Or he might be all for it but the fact that you might be paying for your own wedding band could definitly hurt his pride and that never turns out well. Choose your battles wisely and good luck!
Post # 8
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
If you can afford it I say do it! I bought my engagement ring, you are the one who will be wearing it or them.
Post # 9
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
Thanks ladies, I appreciate the advice I think I am just going to do what a couple of you mentioned and be casual about it, its no big deal if he says he wouldn’t want me to buy another one. If I know my Fiance as well as i think I do, he wouldn’t really have a problem with it, I am concerned but he knows I take care of myself and he’s okay with it. My budget is no where near as tight as his (because I have a pretty decent sized savings account and get lots of over time at work), I am paying for our whole wedding, that doesn’t seem to bother him, so I don’t see why me buying another ring would. Maybe me paying for everything will start bothering him, but i don’t think so. My budget is tight still, but I can squeeze in another ring in my opinion! lol afterall, I am the one who has to wear it forever.
Post # 10
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
I love the idea of mrs. Esteps that it could be your something new. I don’t see a problem with it at all that your not married a certain number of years and doubt he would be annoyed, my Fiance wouldn’t anyway. Just casually mention it and add that obviously the one he bought you is the real wedding band yours is just an additional one, to make sure his ego doesn’t get dented. I had a look at your ring, its so pretty, who cares what metal it’s made of or how much it was, your fiance put it on your finger with the same love as any other woman with a huge rock.
Post # 11
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
Thank you loopy lou, I really do love it, it’s perfect for me. I do a lot of working with my hands, so the fact that it’s not too big really is great for me. And an additional ring isn’t to make it look more expensive or bigger, just love the idea of it. I also love the idea of it being my something new! So clever 🙂
Post # 12
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
I see nothing wrong with two bands. DH put two bands on my finger during the wedding ceremony. I’ve worn the two bands since day one! However, if I were you I’d make sure it was okay with my Darling Husband before purchasing a 2nd band on your own. If he’s sentimental or sensitive he may not appreciate that. If he’s anything like my Darling Husband he wouldn’t care one bit.
