(Closed) Buying a Wedding Dress Without My Mom

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I was never super close to my mother and she is not in my life very much anymore. She’s never even commented on my engagement, and I’ve done everything without her (not that she’d want to be involved anyway, I’m sure). I’m not all that emotional about it, except maybe angry, heh. 

I took FI’s mom dress shopping and we had a good time. She has two boys and her other DIL didn’t ask her along when she went dress shopping, so it was a fun experience for her. Can you take your Future Mother-In-Law maybe? I had actually planned to go alone until I thought that maybe she’d like to come with me. All of my bridesmaids are out of town and work full time, except two. I only ended up taking one because the other (FI’s little sister) is really busy (at 15! lol).

Post # 5
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I lost my mother in high school.  I don’t really have any advice, I just got through the wedding stuff day by day and tried not to get sad.  People talked about putting a candle or rose in a chair for her but I couldn’t do it.  It would have made me too sad.  It has been 8 years now and it is still so sad sometimes.

Post # 6
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Congrats on your engagement first of all!  So sorry for your loss.  Maybe your Maid/Matron of Honor could come visit for a weekend and you could do dress shopping? You could also ask Future Mother-In-Law if you are close.  What about taking FI? Are you against him seeing the dress beforehand?  


Post # 7
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My mother passed away when I was 17, so I definitely know what you are going through. Even though you aren’t close to his mother, it’s worth asking her to come. It will mean a lot to her, and extra hands and eyes are nice. Good luck with your dress shopping… the whole wedding experience is so bittersweet when you’ve lost your mom.

Post # 8
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am very sorry to hear about your mom. Sad indeed. But try not to thinking about the dark side of things. This is one of the most beautiful and memorable moments in your life, and try to concentrate on the bright aspects of life.

I have somewhat similar situation too. I come from a different country (Republic of Georgia) than my Fiance. There are not a lot of nice dresses available in my country so I decided to go dress shopping when visiting his family in US this summer. My future mother-in-law and her sisters and my FI’s cousin came to the shop with me. They are all super nice and sweet and they did their best to turn this experience into a very memorable moment. Mybe this could also be your case? While I did wish to have my mom with me, I told myself that this was my special moment and did not allow dark thoughts to tarnish it.

Inevitable you might feel sad sometimes, but it is such a happy moment that you should’t allow anything to interfere with it.

Good luck and congrats on the engagement 🙂

Post # 9
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I lost my mum when I was 9, and part of the reason why Fiance and I are getting married with just two witnesses and the officiant present is because my mum isn’t around and all of my grandparents have passed away as well.  I totally can understand where you are coming from.

I think it would be a nice gesture to ask your Future Mother-In-Law.  That could be a good way to get to know each other better and to help her feel included in the wedding planning process.  I went the very non-traditional route and had Fiance come with me to meet with the lady who was making my dress and he has already seen me in it and everything.  If that’s not for you though, I totally get it.  I think even if you did end up heading into bridal salons on your own, the sales associates would be more than happy to help you out in whatever way they can.  You could also ask if you are allowed to take pictures of the dresses you try on and then you could post them on here for feedback!  We’re always happy to help.

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