Post # 1
Back in July my friend tried on and bought her wedding dress. For fun, she had 3 of her bridesmaids there and had us try on bridesmaid dresses. She planned for December 1 for us to have our fitting and buy the dress. I couldn’t make it December 1 and she told me I have until Christmas to get fitted and buy my dress. Only problem is I’m a few months pregnant with my second child. I’m already wider, and sort of showing. I told her this and asked her if I could wait until summer after I have the baby so I have a better idea of size I’ll be and she told me no the lady at the store will yell if I don’t get it done by Christmas. She’s not getting married until October 2020. Apparently, they’ll measure me now and order three sizes bigger. Then I can just get alterations for the size I am. If it’s like my first pregnancy I shrunk down to smaller than I was before I got pregnant and I don’t want to pay an arm and a leg for alterations. But I also don’t want the dress to be too small. That’s why I asked if I could wait. Is it rude if I have to pay a couple hundred in alterations (which the lady said could happen if I shrink down) I back out? The dress is already $275 and then with alterations it could be a lot. What do I do? I’ve been so stressed.
Another issue is my son is her ring bearer but he’s not invited to the reception. The wedding is an hour and a half away and she expects my parents or my husbands to drive out there to pick him up. So that’s another thing I’m stressed about because I’m not going to make my parents drive all the way there to pick him up. Especially when they’ll already have our young child already.
Again she’s not getting married until October 2020
Post # 2
I can’t tell you what to do, but there’s no way I would buy a bridesmaid dress for a wedding that is almost 2 years away. Add in the fact that she wants your son for a ring bearer but is not permitting him, a member of the wedding party, to attend the reception, and I would be tempted to “get out now, while the getting s good”.
Post # 3
jadeparcell5 : Politely back down from the bridesmaid position and take your son out of the wedding. Bee, this is classic Bridezilla. It is completely unfair to expect you to pay for alterations or to make anyone buy a dress 2 years out while pregnant. Then having your son in the wedding but barred from the reception when you are not close to relatives? That’s insane. I’m having a child free wedding too but am making exceptions for those in the wedding. This is going to be 2 years of torment, back away now. If it ends your friendship, so be it. She sounds like a bad friend anyway.
Post # 4
How confident are you that they won’t break up in 2 years?
Post # 5
TBH I would step down from being a bridesmaid. Both with the bridesmaid dress and ring bearer issue, she is being completely unreasonable. I would worry more about taking care of your stress levels during the pregnancy than some dress that you are wearing in two years.
Post # 6
I would refuse. So many things can happen in three years and the whole three sizes bigger thing sounds like absolute nonsense.
Is the dress she chose being discontinued?
Post # 7
Buying a bridesmaid dress 2 years out?! Even if you’re not pregnant that’s utterly preposterous.
Seems like your friend is just getting ready to go full on brideszilla crazy. I’d back out now.
Post # 8
Yes, l have to add my voice to the chorus of withdraw now, rather than later. As pp above says , two years out is stupid anyway, let alone the nonsense about making you choose now while pregnant.
Plus the demands about your son’s exclusion. And what, incidentally, will she expect you to do with your coming child, who will be 18 months or so by then? Just reread, your parents will have him/her and are thus expected to do all this with the little one in the car or hotel room etc. Stuff that OP.
Post # 9
I’d be out as a bridesmaid……. she sounds awful! jadeparcell5 :
Post # 10
If she wants you to have your dress 2 years out, she can pay for it!
Post # 11
jadeparcell5 : you don’t need this stress. Back out now.
Post # 12
I would tell her that on top of the price of the dress the possibility of expensive alterations won’t work for you. Regretfully, if you are not able to order a dress closer to the wedding, you will have to step down.
Post # 13
The whole buy the dress now (while your pregnant) and order it 3 sizes up makes no sense to me. In 2 yrs you won’t even be pregnant and most likely will be back to pre pregnancy weight or close not 3 sizes up from pregnancy size lol anyways she’s lying that the lady will yell if it’s not done by Christmas I’m sure it’s just a mix of her being a brideszilla and the sales lady being pushy. Plus since the wedding is kind of far i agree with everyone else it’s ridiculous to have your son part of the ceremony but be expected to be picked up after if the venue was close to where you live like 10 or 15 mins sure but over an hr hell no! Back out of the wedding you and your son ASAP that way she knows well in advanced