Post # 1
So, my husband thinks I am crazy and I am looking for other people’s opinions. My daughter is 15 months old. She has a stuffed elephant that she has had since birth, and it is her favorite toy. She asks for it by name, cuddles it, and we bring it everywhere. She has an identical one that lives at my mom’s house that she also loves equally. I have two dogs that love to destroy stuffed animals, and we have had many near misses with my daughter’s toy. So far though, it has not been damaged. My daughter says about seven words, and one of them is the name of her elephant. Anyway. I recently found out that the elephant has been discontinued by the manufacturer, and was on clearance. I bought 3 more of them. My husband thinks I have absolutely lost my mind. He told me I can buy all the toys for her I want, but not to buy multiples of what we already have. My thought process was that there is a good chance we will lose one and/or the dog will rip one up, and I felt like the $45 investment (they were $15 each) was worth it for insurance against utter heartbreak in the future. For what its worth, that cost was not a major expense to us or anything. Am I as crazy as my husband thinks, or is this a reasonable thing to do as a parent?
Post # 2
I can see both sides, but learning to deal with loss is a very important lesson for a child and you may be delaying her development in that regard by delaying the inevitable loss.
Post # 3
As that person who, as an adult, still broke into tears (I am blaming the fertility drugs that are making ridiculously emotional) when my parents said a treasured, irreplaceable toy from my childhood had been destroyed, I think it is totally logical. Yes, life means loss. But if it doesn’t have to be their favorite toy that is lost then I think that is okay. I think as long as buying a back up didn’t mean not paying for important things, which it sounds like it didn’t, I think it is totally ok. I wouldn’t do it with everything obviously but it sounds like this is the one major toy she loves most.
Post # 4
Something to consider from the child perspective. I had a lamb stuffed animal wearing a green and yellow flower wreath crown when I was a small child and I called her Lolly. She was a beloved friend and got very tattered from all the love I lavished on her. She had been sewn back together many times. One day my mother found the exact same stuffed animal and bought me a new one. But it wasn’t Lolly! No one could replace Lolly because she was so much more than just the stuffed animal by then.
So maybe if this happens now while her elephant is still in a similar state (no frayed fur or sewn bits) and your daughter is too young to notice it is ok to have elephant replacements standing by in the wings. But there will be a day when you can’t pass a new elephant off as her beloved friend. So I am with your husband on this one and think it was wasteful to buy 3 more elephants.
Post # 5
I see both sides. I know you want to protect her from emotional pain but I certainly would stop buying multiples at this one item. You cannot protect her from everything and at some point she will need to learn that you go through loss in life. Or even possibly learn why you put your things away. It does seems a little much.
Post # 6
I don’t have kids, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with buying multiples.
The only thing I can think of that might be an issue is if you forget where you out the extras? I’ve done that before with dog toys, bought a bunch and then lost them later. Lol
So that is the only objection I can really think…
Post # 7
Id totally do the same. I don’t have kids but there was utter chaos the couple of times my nephews favorite toy got lost. He needed it to sleep so my poor sister had to turn the house upside down a few times. Having a backup would have been great!
Post # 8
pearlrose : I’d do it. Worst case scenario she realizes it’s not her toy (though it sounds like she already loves 2 versions of this toy without a problem) and if so you give it to your dogs. $15 for a dog toy is a bit steep, but it’s still not a total waste of money is what I’m saying.
sable : this sort of reminds me of a commercial (I forgot what for) where dad takes a brand new toy and runs over it, drags it behin the car, etc.. and then goes inside and is like “I found your lost toy!!”
Gosh I wish I could remember what commerical this was–it had to be either for the car or for detergent.. somehow..
Post # 9
I can understand getting 1 as a back-up, but yes, 3 seems like overkill.
Post # 10
I’d buy a single backup, and one for where we commonly spend time. We had to do that with a white noise sheep my daughter loved. But we only have two.
Post # 11
I can see how there are varying perspectives on this. It is good to see that many people think like my husband, so he is obviously not a cold hearted meanie on this issue. Also there are people who don’t think I’m a terrible hoarder or something, so that’s good too. Obviously I already bought my elephants and intend to keep them, so I guess I’m not really looking for people to change my mind, just was curious where the rest of the world stands on this issue.
I will say I have thought of the issue of a factory fresh elephant not being the same as a used one, but I am not too worried about this at this point. I can keep one in the car and one in her bedroom, and rotate them if one is in the wash or whatnot. Right now she is too young to know the difference, and maybe if there have always been more than one, it won’t seem like one is “the real one.” If one someday distinguishes itself from the others somehow, so be it.
To the person who mentioned doing this with dog toys, I have to say that yes I absolutely do the same with dog toys. The dogs constantly leave stuff outside to get run over by the lawn mower and I am glad to have replacements. I also buy two of the same comforter for my bed when I decorate my room, so I can always have an extra when one is in the wash. I don’t have millions of every item in my house or anything, but if something is really important and not easily replaced, I like to have a spare.
I will say that I am not really worried about my daughter missing out on experiencing loss in her life or anything like that. I am sure she will still lose many things that can’t be replaced. For that matter, the dog (who I have to constantly save the elephant from) is 11 years old himself, and probably the only thing she loves more than the toy.
I will admit that maybe I didn’t need to buy three lol.
Post # 12
I think it’s utterly ridiculous that people are saying a 15-month-old’s emotional development will be stunted if she doesn’t experience the loss of a beloved comfort object… come on, now.
Since she’s already willing to accept a second elephant (at your mom’s house), I think it was a good idea to get back-ups. I suggest rotating them through immediately, though, so they all got broken in. If you save the new ones until they’re needed – when she may be older – she’ll be more likely to reject them. They won’t smell right!
The description of Lolly the lamb sounds just like a stuffed animal I had as a child. 🙂
Post # 13
I’m so not the best person to ask about this, because I buy multiples of things for myself. How many times do you find a favorite jacket, pair of jeans, boots, whatever, only for it to be discontinued the next week/month/season? I have boots in my closet I’ve had for years and should the pair I wear ever “die,” well…..
Darling Husband thought I was nuts when we first started dating, until he found a sweater he was obsessed with. I bought a second one, put it away and didn’t tell him. Not even 2 months later, sweater was ruined and he was not a happy person, until I pulled out the second one. Granted, he’d have to deal if something happened to that one, but he still has it today (years later).
It may sound insane, but I do this for one of our shepherds. She has a pillow pet dolphin she’s obsessed with, takes it to her bed every night, no other dog touches it, it’s just her thing. I find them fairly frequently at goodwill for like $2, so we have 2 put away should she rip it, or it dies in the washing machine (it’s happened). It makes her happy, and it’s no skin off my nose.
If you find something you love, Murphy’s Law it’s going to disappear, lol.
Long story short, no I don’t think you’re crazy. If it’s so easy to avoid a disaster, why not? If she’s outgrown it, you can donate them. No harm no foul, especially since it doesn’t hurt you financially to do so.
Post # 14
I don’t have kids yet, but am expecting my first in a few months. I also teach preschool. I haven’t seen parents have multiples of favourite stuffies (that I know of) but I do know some parents who had multiples of favourite blankets. I have also witnessed parents having to make a trip back to the school because of a forgotten toy or blanket that the child will not be able to sleep without.
I get that dealing with loss is a part of life, but I think that 15 months might be a bit young to comprehend. Even some of the 3-year-olds that I teach would have a difficult time dealing with it.
No, I don’t think you are crazy!
Post # 15
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
My nephew has a favourite stuffed toy and my brother and his wife bought three of them in total. They get rotated, so they all get equal wear and are in roughly the same condition and it’s been a lifesaver for them on a few occasions where one has been left somewhere (daycare, grandparents house, friend’s place, wherever) and they can grab the next one out of the cupboard so my nephew will go to sleep (won’t sleep without it). Seems wise to me!