Post # 16
I think it’s a good idea. Yes, children need to deal with loss and disappointment. Resilience is very important to develop. But it doesn’t have to be from losing her favorite stuffed animal to her dog.
For what it’s worth, I have 3 copies of one dress because it was great, and I wanted to be able to have one that wasn’t worn out for a long time.
Post # 17
Come on people, having a backup soft toy is not going to turn OP’s daughter into a special snowflake with no emotional resilience! I mean, for goodness sake. It’s just a small purchase that might make OP’s life easier at some point. Perhaps three wasn’t entirely necessary, but whatever.
Post # 18
I’ve dealt with my toddler having the mother of all meltdowns at bedtime because her blankie was at nanas house. I’ve actually dealt with that several times. To me it make sense, we’ve had it fall out of the car on a road trip and had to back track almost 130km to find it. She’s 11 and it’s still on her bed.
Having lived through toddler melt downs over their lovies. Buy the toy in as many duplicates as you can, then start rotating them through, so there is always one there and they get equal love and wear. So that if the worst happens kiddo doesn’t get that this is a replacement just keeps on without a meltdown and you retain your sanity.
Toddlers have meltdowns about a lot of insane stuff and their fave thing going missing can cause epic meltdowns. In my opinion it’s just easier to save moms sanity right from the beginning.
Post # 19
Learning about loss is inevitable and it seems to me to be sort of messed up to purposely set your kid up for that knowing you can prevent it…. Why not soften the blow while she’s still little? I’d buy her ten back ups. You can do this with a beloved toy. You can’t do it with a person or a pet. She will experience that pain just like everyone else.
Post # 20
pearlrose : I think that’s a good idea. Not long ago, my SO actually bought me a stuffed animal that I had as a kid and loved. He found it on Ebay. I was thrilled!
Post # 21
chocolateplease : Exactly!
It’s very easy to come by the hard lessons in life, why not hold onto the sweet, innocent and naive for as long as possible? Kids grow up way too fast these days anyway. This little girl doesn’t need to learn about loss under 2, or 5 or 10 unnecessarily. Losing a favorite toy/blanket/stuffed animal is heartbreaking, and what’s the harm of preventing it as long as possible?
Post # 22
5 of the same toy seems a bit excessive, but I didn’t grow up with dogs so maybe not.
I think 2 or even 3 is reasonable without major risk. I got through my childhood without losing any favourite items like that, our things we taken care of and we weren’t allowed to drag sentimental things to the park with us. I think one of the dolls I loved as a kid was thrown out a few years ago due to water damage in my parent’s basement, but I wasn’t greatly upset by that as while it was my favourite doll, I do have other things that are sentimental to me.
My nephew has a double of his favourite toy, a big reason for that though is it’s easy to wash and he does gross things with it, like wiping his nose on it.
Either way though, it’s not totally out there. Something where in a relationship I would tease DH for doing something like this, but like you said, it’s $45 of what I think of as excess.
Post # 23
You probably don’t need any more opinions on this but I had to chime in. I absolutely don’t think you’d be delaying your 15 month old’s development or comprehension of loss by buying duplicates of her favorite stuffed animal. She’s a baby. And take it from me, you are about to embark on a time of toddler tantrums, so I think something as simple as having duplicates of an animal that could cause heartbreak if it’s lost is a smart thing to do! My 2 year old has 3 different Elmo dolls that I keep in different places for this very reason. This is not the age to learn about loss, they don’t understand things like that. Good on you mama!
Post # 24
I think it’s fine. I don’t see how it would delay loss since, as stated, there will be many other instances where she’s going to inevitably experience it. If you were trying to shield every potential loss, sure…but, in this one scenario, no.
Even if you didn’t get around to using them there’s always tons of charity drives you could donate them to assuming they’re kept sealed. Dog toy option is another thing even for donating to a shelter if yours are destructive with plush toys.
I agree that I probably wouldn’t have bought three and probably would have only thought to do one extra…but it’s your money and for the reasons listed above no big deal.
Post # 25
i see both sides. these days my son (19m) is obsessed with elmo and brown bear. i bought the same elmo for my house and my mom’s (also our nanny) house. at my house he’s more obsessed with elmo, we have 10 items and his room is decorated that way. at my mom’s it’s more brown bear. i forget what age i started, but he sleeps with a lovey (lamby). we take it on vacation with us, but he doesn’t need it when he sleeps at my mom’s or other times. so we don’t really have any duplicated. when lamby is gone, he’ll be fine with something else.
Post # 26
I think it’s a good idea, because my mom had to do it with my favorite toy.
I have a doll that I’ve had since I was less than two. Yellow baby went everywhere with me at that age and mom noticed they went on clearance and bought an extra. One got left at an airport. And then one day my backup disappeared. Not in the house, not at daycare. It had been discontinued for a while, but she found another one online and paid a fortune to get it overnighted because I couldn’t sleep without it. That same one is now a very tattered doll that I still have at 27.
She also did the same with my younger brothers lion, she learned backups for treasured toys at that age are good things. When lion disappeared, mom had a new, fresh version who had just come back from a salon visit. One day, long after the second lion had finally bit the dust, she found an original one, still in box at a thrift store and picked it up for memories. The moment my then teenage brother was shown it, he yelled out “Lion!” and immediately cuddled it. That Lion is now sitting on the treasured stuffed animal shelf with his girlfriend’s stuffed animals.
So yeah, I think backups are good things. Obviously my brother and I were ok with the fresh versions of our beloved toys, but if that’s a worry, I would rotate thru them to ensure the correct aging.
Post # 27
Your husband must be really hard up for things to complain about. Ask any parent, if they could ward off a crisis for $45, would they do it?
You must be a great wife and mom, if this is what your DH finds a problem!
Post # 28
- Wedding: April 29th, 2016
Glad to see I’m not the only one who does this for their dog! And I’ve contemplated doing it for myself when it comes to things I love and wear out (shoes, coats, etc.) so I don’t think it’s too crazy of an idea.
Post # 29
Meh I think your husband is being silly. They are inexpensive stuffed toys, and what’s the difference if she has 3 different ones or 3 of the same?
Maybe I’m biased though – I’m the kind of person who will buy the same sweater 5x if I love it.
Post # 30
Mom to a toddler here. My son is OBSESSED with his Katerina Kittycat stuffed animal. He takes her everywhere, and even goes up and down slides at the playground with her. I’m totally cool with this. Once, we were babysitting a dog for the weekend, and it….well, it peed all over the floor right next to his precious Kat. I washed her, and drove to a target an hour away to get him another Kat. I’m considering buying another backup. (Thanks for the reminder). You’re totally not crazy. Anyone who thinks you are does not understand the wrath of a toddler, and just how loud they can scream when pissed off.