Buying my own wedding band?

posted 1 year ago in Rings
Post # 16
2917 posts
Sugar bee

taykay :  Is your partner generous in other ways? Does he buy you nice presents on your birthday and for Christmas? Does he share all his things with you? Does he spend lots of time giving you his attention?

The reason I ask is not because I think you should be mercenary or overly diamond-orientated but because sometimes there is something else going on when a man refuses to buy his beloved important jewellery. 

Only you know your partner but I’m concerned that he thinks because he bought you a promise ring that he will never have to buy you another ring. Is he like this with other non-practical things?

I personally don’t think that you should be buying the most important piece of jewellery you are likely to possess – your wedding ring – on your own. He should at least contribute half. It’s symbolic. The marriage is a joint venture. If he decides that he does want a wedding ring for himself then maybe you should contribute at least half. (Although I note that you are thinking of buying him a present in lieu of a wedding ring if he doesn’t want one.)

The other thing that concerns me is that your decisions on rings should be joint decisions. He has refused to buy you a wedding ring. Why does he get to make this decision? Marriage means joint decisions and not individual announcements. He is going to have to get used to a different way of doing things when you get married. So I think that you are probably going to have to have a very long talk with him – and soon.

Having said all this, if the pair of you (jointly) decide that you (singly) are going to buy your wedding ring then don’t skimp. Get yourself something that you will really enjoy.

Post # 17
102 posts
Blushing bee

Supersleuth :  I agree with this too, to think about that. Well said.

Post # 18
1780 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

taykay :  totally not wierd. Like a lot of Bees here I picked out and paid for my own band. I am also buying his band (he’s just getting something super inexpensive because he is only wearing it for the ceremony) But honestly, this is because he already paid a big chunk of money for the engagement ring and I wanted something matching and special. It just seemed fair that we both “invest”.

I’m with anonomee and a little weirded out by other things involved in your dynamic. (FWIW my engagement/ proposal wasn’t the epitome of romance either.)   

Post # 19
2010 posts
Buzzing bee

We had already combined finances when we bought wedding bands so we just went and used our joint account.  

Post # 20
1117 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

If you have joint finances then him bs you buying a ring isn’t even a coherent concept. 

Post # 21
15 posts

I think it is totally fine to buy your own ring! You do you, I say!

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