Buying/receiving baby things before TTC…?

posted 1 week ago in Waiting to TTC
Post # 2
957 posts
Busy bee

I don’t think it’s strange if that’s something that you personally want to do, but I think it’s odd for a family member to push that on you based on their presumed untimely demise.  That’s rude and invasive and I’d have probably had some choice words for her, depending on how open you’ve been with her about TTC in the future.

But it took me longer to conceive than I anticipated and REALLY opened my eyes to a) how most people think it’s totally ok to question women about this extremely personal topic and b) just how painful that can really be.  So now I’m a little defensive and prickly about it because people suck.

ETA: To be brief, yeah, I think it’s weird.

Post # 3
10242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Yup, I do think it seems weird. 

Post # 4
233 posts
Helper bee

I think it would be very painful to have baby items around for a future child that may never arrive.    For those that have difficulty and/or cannot conceive.    It is one of the reasons that some cultures do not have baby showers and instead celebrate the newborn after birth

Post # 5
9766 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I had several miscarriages and personally I would not have wanted that kind of stuff sitting around.

Post # 6
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

No I don’t find the knitting odd. It’s a handmade family heirloom. Plenty of people have heirlooms to give to their family members tucked away.
Lots of people lose their dexterity as they age and can no longer knit. She’s is able to knit and currently has the time. She didn’t say when she was going to give them to you. I think it was a nice thought to ask you about colors. 
In general I don’t think having special things tucked away is weird. 

Post # 7
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I think it’s kind of odd, especially since all those knitted things aren’t really practical for babies anyway (except the hats). I just wouldn’t want to store it for that long either. My mother in law however totally bought stuff for future grand children long before she knew we were pregnant.

Post # 8
10352 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

We bought a random football jersey at a thrift store for our future kid before we TTC. We have a kid now and it’s still put up for her until she fits it. 

Post # 9
261 posts
Helper bee

I bought baby items every month on the day my cycle started while trying to conceive.

It helped me feel better when it didn’t happen right away.

Post # 10
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

We’re going to start TTC this summer, and I have a small collection I’ve accumulated over the past 8 months. I bought a cute onesie with the name of the town we got married in for our nephew, then just never remembered to send it, so I kept it. Then on our honeymoon, I saw the cutest little outfit that said the name of the city (tacky touristy things are my weakness), so I bought it. It’s become a bit of a routine, on trips I’ll pick up a little souvenir onesie for future babies. I figure it’ll be fun to dress a baby in the little outfits one day and reflect back on our pre-baby travels. 

I also randomly have one super cute baby pajama set. I ordered a few different sizes of pajamas as a gift, and BuyBuyBaby didn’t send the newborn size until a month after the rest, by which time the 10 pound newborn had outgrown it, so I stuck it in a random drawer. 

I am sentimental so I’d like having some handmade family pieces. My family has a dark sense of humor, so for us, a comment like that (before I die) would be tongue in cheek and we’d all roll our eyes over it and chuckle. 

That being said, I do worry that I might regret that small drawer if we end up having trouble conceiving. 

Post # 11
938 posts
Busy bee

Super weird and intrusive. She sounds like the type who will soon be nagging you “where’s my grandnephew-niece” every time she sees you. 

Post # 13
13048 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I would not be comfortable with it for the reasons others have mentioned. If she wants to knit baby items to have on hand for future gifts, good for her, but she doesn’t have to send them to you at this time. 

Post # 14
270 posts
Helper bee

I don’t find it weird at all. We were given some knitted items from my grandmother-in-law when we went to visit her (she lives overseas). It was no secret that we wanted kids, and she wanted to give us some things that she made. I wouldn’t hang them in the closet so I’d have to look at them every day, but I see no issue having the items tucked away and out of sight. Had we never needed them for our own children, we would have likely kept them for any future babies in our family (and/or just to have as a physical token of my husband’s grandma). 

I suppose I don’t understand the concept of not having a few items simply because I may have struggled to conceive. I kept all of my first child’s baby clothes, and when I miscarried my second the clothing wasn’t a terrible reminder of what I’d lost, probably because everything was stored in airtight boxes and hidden completely out of my daily life. Even when we didn’t get pregnant right away the third time, the clothing (and stroller, car seat, crib, etc) wasn’t painful to have in our home… and I’m a very emotional/sentimental person/basketcase. That said, I do understand that this train of thought is totally personal and unique to each of us. If you’re at all uncomfortable with the idea, you can simply ask her to hold onto the items she makes for you. Frame it that you want her to be the one to give the items to your potential future kids!

View original reply
@codecoad:  genuinely curious as to why you think knitted items aren’t useful? We used our cardigans and blankets constantly. If anything, the hats got the least amount of use due to the massive nature of my childrens’ heads. 😂

Post # 15
1217 posts
Bumble bee

I guess I’m in the minority but I also don’t find it weird at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have sentimental items for my future baby, not TTC anytime soon. I have old clothes of mine, some clothes my mom kept from my stillborn baby brother, etc. If my grandmother or another close but old relative was into knitting, I’d absolutely want her to make something before she passed even if she never met my kid. But to each their own of course, I can kind of see the opposing POV. 

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors