(Closed) “By Invitation Only” Reception

posted 12 years ago in Reception
Post # 33
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I did…I didn’t miss anything…my opinion still stands, it’s the same as everyone else posting.

Post # 35
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If I was invited only to the wedding and not the reception I would be hurt.  Is there an option to do heavy appatizers instead of a seated dinner?  This way you could accomodate more people.  But I agree with the general consensus.  Only invite people who you will also invite to the reception.

Post # 36
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yes I did, you are concerned about uninvited people showing up.  All weddings are by invite only; you aren’t starting some new trend.  You address the people who are invited on the invitation and the number, and they respond with the number out of that who are able to attend.  All this is taken care of weeks, if not months, prior to the wedding, so the day of isn’t a problem.  It’s not rocket science.  All weddings are like this.  Haven’t you ever been invited to one?

Post # 38
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah, sorry, this isn’t going to work.  What about just having a smaller wedding to begin with? 

Post # 39
Member
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@OP – how many people are you talking about anyway? how many you would invite vs. how many you think will attend (i.e. with crashers)?

Post # 40
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee

If you want to invite everyone to the ceremony and not hurt feelings by turning them away immediately before the reception starts, you will have to move the ceremony/reception times and then serve desserts only which are much cheaper than a full meal.

Post # 41
Member
675 posts
Busy bee

I think the real solution to your problem is this.

Make a list of all the people you send invites to.

If you don’t get an RSVP, call and confirm whether the people are coming or not.

Once this is finished, submit your numbers to your caterer.

Issue handled. Why would tons of random people just show up at your wedding? I have never heard of anyone having an issue with this.

Post # 42
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

There are few things ruder than inviting someone to a wedding, which mandates a gift, but barring them from the reception because they don’t make the A list.

If I received an invitation like that, not only would I not attend, I probably wouldn’t RSVP or give a gift and this is coming from someone who thinks ettiquette is very important.

Post # 44
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Holy cow.  What a piece of work!!!

On a side note, PrincessDva, what about having the ceremony and reception on different days?  Like a Friday night and then a Saturday night?  

ETA;  I actually went to a wedding where they were on separate days (and i was not invited to the reception).  It worked out very well and I truly was not insulted in the slightest.  I just didn’t give a very expensive gift.   

Post # 45
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee

Having the ceremony and reception on separate days is just as rude and you’re likely to have people not attend at all. There is no reason they can’t be held the same day. Several feasible options that are not rude have been suggested by others and turned down by the OP.

Post # 46
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wow, I’M the rude one?  That’s rich…

How do you plan on having 50+ wedding crashers, seriously?  Is this the event of the season or something?  Your posts aren’t making much sense…

I helpfully suggested you scale down in other areas but you aren’t taking any advice.  Do it your way then.  See how that turns out.

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