(Closed) BYOB co-ed shower?

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
5870 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
aeiloveu:  Since it’s an e-vite I’d talk it over with the hosts.  Just ask them to add “no gifts please” and take off your registry info.  It might also help to remove the “shower” wording as a shower is traditionally a party that you bring a gift to.  Maybe engagement party is a more appropriate term?

I agree that asking guests to a potluck means that you can’t also ask for gifts.  Their contribution of food & drinks is enough.

Post # 3
Member
3327 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

So is this a shower or is this not a shower? It sounds like it may just be a ‘pre-wedding get together’ and NOT a shower. A shower is a hosted event, and gift giving in nature. If you are having something that is just for people to mingle, I guess BYOB/pot luck is ok. I’d probably still talk to the hosts and tell them you are uncomfortable with guests required to bring things and offer some $$. I would also ask that they clarify that it is NOT a shower, or change it to a shower and make it a fully hosted event.

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