Cake Etiquette Question – Is this rude??

posted 2 years ago in Food
  • poll: Is it rude to NOT serve the cake we cut if we offer other desserts?

    Yes, it's rude

    No, it's not rude

  • Post # 16
    Member
    357 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    amacweezie : So long as there are enough desserts to feed all of the guests, and it sounds like that is the case, then it is not rude to serve the sugar-free cake buffet style even though there isn’t enough for each guest individually. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    We had a plated dessert as one of our courses so every guest was guaranteed dessert.

    Later in the night, we did our cake cutting for our 8″ cake and then set out the sliced cake with a late night dessert bar (pies, squares, etc.).

    We had no complaintst about the way we did dessert. The next day we ended up still having a couple pieces of wedding cake and pie left over.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2913 posts
    Sugar bee

    View original reply
    amacweezie :  Just as cutting the cake is traditional, so is serving wedding cake. A lot of people get excited to eat cake at a wedding. Having multiple dessert options is great, but I would still miss the opportunity for wedding cake. The idea that some PPs have suggested if havinn a tiered cake with the top tier being for you and the groom with your dietary restrictions and the lower tier being for your guests is fantastic. You could still make the cakes yourself if you wanted. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    13646 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Sorry, it’s rude. If you are going to publicly cut and serve yourself cake, then everyone should be offered a piece of cake of some kind.

    Post # 20
    Member
    339 posts
    Helper bee

    Is your diet so strict that you can’t have the amount of sugar in one small slice of cake on your wedding day? If so perhaps you could skip dessert altogether? Or an even better alternative,  cut and serve a regular wedding cake for the tradition and have a seperate small sugar free dessert for yourself.

    Post # 22
    Member
    511 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2020

    After reading your update then no I don’t thinkit is rude as long as you incorporate the cate into the buffet table.

    Post # 23
    Member
    1256 posts
    Bumble bee

    I just went to a wedding where they cut a small cake and didn’t serve it. The rest of the dessert table was delicious. I don’t think it’s rude at all.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1138 posts
    Bumble bee

    Given your update, I would say it’s fine if it’s amongst the other dessert so guests can have a piece if they choose. Maybe just put a sign next to it to say it’s sugar free, will prevent everyone going for it and thinking they missed out / you’re being stingy, and for those who managed to get a piece to think it’s not very nice.

    Post # 25
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    I think this is your perfect solution (although it doesn’t appear rude to me to cut a cake only you will eat). Get cupcakes and ask the baker to leave space at the top for your homemade cake. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    3102 posts
    Sugar bee

    I LOVE cake and really dislike pie/brownies/cookies, so I confess I would be giving side eye t a wedding where a cake was cut, but not served.

    plus, I like the idea & symbolism of a big cake served to all. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    8375 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    View original reply
    amacweezie :  I think having the other desserts available is very generous, but I still would offer wedding cake to your guests — if you are publicly cutting a cake at your wedding. If you were not having a cake cutting, people would assume that there is no cake and would happily avail themselves of your dessert bar without further question. However, if there is a traditional, ceremonial cake cutting at a wedding, most people will expect to see cake served in additon to any other offerings.

    Post # 28
    Member
    7952 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    absolutely not.  your guests probably won’t even know the difference or care. so make your beautifu cake for yourself to cut and eat, and serve your guests a sheet cake and have other desserts as wel if you want.

    i had a 3 tier cake.  we didn’t even serve the top tier because we wanted to take that home for us.

    then i had a venetian table.

    Post # 29
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee

    I was going to say do something like this,  with your small cake on the top and then desserts for everyone else, it almost looks cooler than a normal wedding cake too and you still get the cake cutting experience! 

    Post # 30
    Member
    302 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2019

    Get a small little cake that is sugar free for the cake cutting for just you and your husband. Get the larger cake that has sugar in it for your guests and put it on the dessert table. 

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