Cake Etiquette Question – Is this rude??

posted 2 years ago in Food
  • poll: Is it rude to NOT serve the cake we cut if we offer other desserts?

    Yes, it's rude

    No, it's not rude

  • Post # 46
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I logged in just to say this – I swear on my life that nobody will notice your wedding cake other than to politely watch you cut it. Everyone is busy chatting and having fun. If they got no dessert at all they would barely mention it, and a desert table sounds amazing!!

     

    If yoh are really worried, buy one of the desserts to look like your cake so they think it is it. 

    Post # 47
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Also my husband is allergic to gluten, and gluten free cake can be seen to be a bit dry. (though I actually don’t agree!). We chose to go for a gluten free cake to feed 130, because no one else would care if they had a bite of slightly dryer cake, whereas he only has one wedding cake. Don’t be too worried about serving cakes to guests etc, if yoh want the photo (and are lovely enough to sort out a dessert buffet) get the photo! 

    Post # 49
    Member
    3133 posts
    Sugar bee

    I noticed a few people have commented that guests won’t notice if cake is served or not, or that people don’t eat the cake.  This is not the case in my experience!

    At my wedding, we deliberately chose to order 3x as much cake as was recommended. We had 2 flavors.  And I cannot tell you how many people had multiple pieces!  The cake was a huge hit, some of our guests still talk about it.  We barely had any left over for us!

    Post # 50
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    :/ your idea of buffet style deserts is awesome, but….If I see a couple cutting the cake, I would expect a slice. It’s a moment when all eyes are on you and people get cravings when they see food.

    Post # 51
    Member
    1354 posts
    Bumble bee

    Friends who are vegan did their top tier vegan which they cut and enjoyed with vegan guests and the two bottom tiers regular for the rest of the guests. No problems.

    Post # 52
    Member
    827 posts
    Busy bee

    If a couple cuts and then eats a cake I would find it odd and on the rude side that they’re not offerings cake to their guests. I don’t get the comments that nobody would notice? I mean of course people notice the couple cutting the cake and then that there actually isn’t cake available..?

    Not trying to over analyze but the fact that you’re so strict on being sugar free you can’t have a piece of cake on your wedding day is a little bit much. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    538 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2020 - Summer Camp!

    View original reply
    buzzerbeater :  She might be pre-diabetic; we don’t know the full situation. It’s her wedding and her choice to go sugar-free, even if we don’t totally get it. 

     

    I’m of the opinion that there should be either cupcakes or cake if there’s a cake cutting. It doesn’t necessarily have to be the same cake though… Sheet cake is fine. I will say though, it looks more “cohesive” if you have cake or cupcakes of the same type. A friend of mine had a variety and it felt less wedding-y to me. 

    Post # 54
    Member
    827 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    moissamight :  you’re right we don’t know. We know what she told us which is that she’s on a fairly strict diet for weight reason so I’m basing my comments off of the information she provided.

    Post # 55
    Member
    3637 posts
    Sugar bee

    As long as there are enough dessert options to go around who gives a fuck??? How is this even controversial lol

    Post # 56
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    misslucy :  cake is the best part of every wedding. I would notice if it was missing! 

    I say that as someone allergic to eggs! Must have the cake!

    Post # 57
    Member
    51 posts
    Worker bee

    View original reply
    amacweezie :  seems like some people did not bother to read your actual comments. If you have provided other “cake” options like mini cupcakes absolutely nobody will even think that you didn’t serve cake. I have been to several weddings, some very expensive and have been to a couple where there were cupcakes instead of sliced cake. I didn’t even think twice, except usually there were additional flavor options which is great! People on these boards can be very judgmental and black and white about weddings. What you’ve planned sounds lovely and props to you for taking your diet so seriously, for whatever reasons you have. That isn’t easy! 

    Post # 58
    Member
    60 posts
    Worker bee

    We did a small personal cake for us to cut and take a bite of, we took the rest home. And ya sure we did it for the ‘gram’ *eye roll* and because we like cake. We also had a dessert course and mini desserts like cupcakes and brownies and no one…not a single soul asked about the cake. So no not rude at all, if you didnt serve any dessert but still ate the cake in front of everyone that would be a different story, but you’re offering another dessert so I see no issue.

    Post # 59
    Member
    563 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2020

    don’t even worry about it. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    This is so common and “trendy” now even to have a small personal one-tier (or two-tier if you’re saving the top for your anniversary) cake for the bride and groom. You have plenty of other desserts, your guests will be just fine! Our guests absolutely loved our cake, but no one would have taken it personally if they had to eat other types of desserts instead. 

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