Post # 77
@FauxBoho: I think it’s funny that your Mom smushes cake and that you got her back. Would love to see photos of that!
I think the part that makes it disrespectful is the symbolism of feeding the cake. If we were at a random party and he fed me a piece of cake and smushed in my face, I’d laugh and think it was funny. But at a wedding it’s about the symbolism of your commitment to provide for each other. Doting the frosting on the nose it cute, its playful, but not disrespectful. The full on smash with the additional, continued smush and smear just feel like it spits in the face of the beautiful symbolism of providing for each other.
Post # 78
In 20 years’ time, people will look back at cake smushing videos and say, “What were they thinking?”
As for an alternative, how about: eat like adults?
Post # 79
Nothing tacky or wrong with this:
I thought I really thought I was going to be pissed if he did it, but I figured what the heck, live a little. I still looked fab after the cake (it was only a tiny bit of frosting) Looking back at it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. We didn’t care if people thought it was rude (because it wasnt), it was plain old fun! :0)
Post # 80
Minimal smoosh can be cute, but not the full pie-in-the-face clown smoosh!
Post # 81
We will not be smushing cake, because I don’t want my make up, hair or dress to get dirtied, but having some cake smeared on your face is a very long way from being abusive, disrespectful or grounds for divorce (seriously, I hope that was an exaggeration). I get it if you don’t want to do it, but I think some posters are going a bit OTT here.
I’m also starting to think that many people on this site have an odd view of what constitutes abuse or ‘divorce worthy’ behaviour..
Post # 82
I’m against it due to make-up/hair/dress costs but I don’t necessarily feel its disrespectful. The only way I would find it disrespectful is if one person did it when the other said they didn’t want to, then it’s disrespectful.
Post # 83
@littlebeanpole: it isn’t a tradition where I live either (in Puerto Rico)
I think it is very disrespectful and would be a waste of $$$ spent on professional makeup and hair! :O
Post # 84
I had no idea this was a tradition anywhere, I would be mortified if this happened at my wedding. I already know Fiance would ever do this. He had a birthday cake at work once and his colleagues did this to him. They are Chinese, and apparently it’s totally a done thing to slam the birthday boy’s face into the cake. Fiance was pretty unimpressed with the whole thing. Seems childish and unnecessary to me.
Post # 85
I have no issues with it as long as it doesn’t get on the dress. I generally do my own hair and makeup because I’m very particular, or I’ll have my mom help me because she understands my gibberish (thingamajig, that stuff with the shiny, etc.) and knows how particular I am. Honestly, I don’t find it disrespectful if you’re in a relationship where you pick on each other a lot like my Fiance and I do. We’re constantly messing with each other just because we can and if cake isn’t shoved in my face on our wedding day I’ll be surprised. If you have a prank-less relationship, then yea I can see the cake shoving as disrespectful but I think it all depends on the people involved. I think it’s just a fun thing to do, but then again I also had a cake fight at one of my best friend’s birthday party because she smeared frosting on my face. My wedding won’t be the first time I’ve had cake on my face.
Post # 86
@calibee79: I agree completely! I am really not a fan of the “trash the dress” shoot. Espcially after a girl died during a shoot… WHY!?
Seriously though, I’m really curious to see how many girls really think it’s NOT ok to smash cake on the face, but will go all out and destroy their beautiful dress with paint, mud, saltwater or other nefarious substances.
Post # 87
TIL my Mum is juvenile. I thought she was just being a fun Mum 🙁
Post # 88
I think if its done in a very small way it can be cute. I suspect that’s where it started and then people took it too far.
We’re not doing it for ours.
Post # 89
When my friend got married her husband smashed practically a whole piece of cake in her face… like covered her entire face, and pushed her head back. I would be so pissed. My Fiance and I both thought it was super rude, it wasn’t even playful at all, it was actually a little uncomfortable to watch.
My view is on it, is as long as I get a good picture of us feeding the cake to each other, then if something playful happens afterwards fine… as long as it doesn’t mess up my dress, makeup, or hair. BUT I would prefer it not to happen at all 🙂
Post # 90
My Fiance is too sweet and respectful to smash the cake in my face. I honestly don’t see him doing something like that to me.
Post # 91
I personally have issues with ANYTHING in my face and I don’t mean that as a double entendre. Example: I had acupuncture once and they placed a few pins in my face, and I flinched so bad they couldn’t position them correctly. I don’t even like other people giving me facials.
Fiance really wants to do it… so we’ll have to see how 1. Drunk I am. and 2. If he’s willing to compromise (frosting on the nose sounds tollerable).
Ugh. This tradition seriously gives me the willies.