(Closed) Call off the entire thing? So upset and confused.(long)

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

@cmbr:  Definitely. Im not a huge fan of planners. I think it’s a waste of money to be honest. thats a chunk of money that could have been put towards other things.

Post # 18
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014



I’m sorry this has turned into such a stress ball for you!


I have two suggestions: 

1) Get rid of the venue. That’s a lot to spend on a venue that has nothing included. BUT, take a photographer there one day, maybe after your wedding….put on your dress and get photos taken with your man in his tux. This way you get the beautiful photos in the venue you wanted to keep forever and ever.


2) Get rid of your planner. YOU CAN PLAN THIS! You sound very intelligent and organized. You know what you want. You can find vendors on theknot.com or other websites. Since it seems like you can’t really cut down on the number of guests you are inviting-you should pick a new venue and go with a (cheaper) different catering company.


Good luck! Remember, it is ONE day in your life. You want beautiful pictures and beautiful memories, but you do not want to go into massive 10k debt over this. 



Post # 21
709 posts
Busy bee

@MUAbride2be:  Best of luck! Good that both you and Fiance think those options presented are helpful. Chose what works best for you & make it happen! 

Post # 22
567 posts
Busy bee

I doubt wedding planners realyl existed back 100 years or so, yet weddings and feasts were planned for numerous guests.  I suggest cutting down, renegotiating the costs or firing the planner.  To cut the stress, downscaling to simpler, less expensive wedding would help.  It can be meaningful without all the extras.

Post # 23
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MUAbride2be:  Re: “realization of what we can actually afford, as opposed to what  we’d like to think we can afford.”  I’ve so been there!

Post # 26
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MUAbride2be:  I would let the wedding planner know that this needs to be scaled back immeadiately!!  Pretty poor planner when she blows your budget by thousands of dollars!!  If she isn’t willing to do this.  Fire her and do it yourself!!  You have a lot of money already invested, and you will lose most of it by cancelling.  You just need to put that planner on a short leash and stand on top of her until she gets this financial mess under control.  If it was me she would already be fired just on mere principal.  I don’t take too well to paying for someones service and them doing whatever they damn well please.

DIY your flowers, and anything else you can.  This is still doable.  Cut back on the guest list.  Do a fake cake with a sheet cake to be served.  No limo, favors, and anything else that is not a must.  There are many ways to keep the budget from exploding any more.

Sorry that you are having to deal with this.  Financial matters……especially the wedding kind just suck!  What really sucks is that you and your SO had a fight over this, that is a red flag that deserves an immeadiate fix  Financial problems when you are first starting out together is not ever a good start.  I think you and him will be fine.  I think your wedding will be fine, just handle that wrecking ball wedding planner ASAP!!  

Post # 28
3198 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with a PP. Tell the planner that she needs to work with your budget or you’ll fire her for not working within your means and budget. And stop letting people tell you what YOU need to have in YOUR wedding. It is your wedding. Don’t lose sight of the reality that you two are going to have to pay for it and enjoy it (or not) regardless of all the input you get about what types of things you should have.

Post # 29
552 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Has anybody ever sued a planner for breach of contract or negligence? Seriously.  She/he holds themselves out there as an expert, you contract with them expecting them to help plan an event within a set budget, and they make recommendations that they KNOW are not within the initial agreed to parameters, if that’s not negligent on their part then I don’t know what else to call it. 

My other thought is do planners get kickbacks for recommending certain vendors? Wouldn’t that be a conflict of interest and if so wouldn’t they need to disclose that or risk committing fraud? 


Post # 31
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

I hope you have already fired your planner, compleete waste of money-and actually costing you much more than just her salary. Cutting vendors sound like the best option and finding more budget friendly options (with your budget there will still be good vendors). Or you if you deciide to stick with some of your vendors, maybe just cut down on services (decrease hours of the DJ, photographer, wait to order prints later), etc.

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