(Closed) Called it off – Kicked him out – Physical violence

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

You sound so much stronger now.  You are so brave for canceling inspite of the timing of it all.  Things happen for a reason and you will find someone again.

Post # 4
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Better now than in five years and possible children that would be in that situation. Best of luck to you – I’m sure this is a very stressful time for you.

Post # 5
Member
2318 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

First of all HUGs and more HUGS! I’m not familiar with the story but from the sound of things you made the ABSOLUTELY right choice. Somewhere out there is this great guy who will love and respect you exactly how a good woman should be, and who will put you FIRST.

Second I still think you should file a police report, even if there’s lack of evidence, it’s never a bad idea to document these things should you ever need to file for a restraining order.

You sound very smart and strong, I’d suggest surround yourself with love ones and push through this though situation, you’ll come out stronger and better for it!

Post # 6
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Even without physical evidence, I believe you can (and SHOULD!) file a report.  Even if they cannot prosecute him, there at least needs to be a record of it.

Thank goodness this happened NOW so you could get out without a divorce.  And that you (and your cat) are okay.

Post # 7
Member
14659 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You shouldnt need to take verbal or emotional abuse either!  I’m so glad youre not making excuses for him for getting physical with you as well.  I’m sure a lot of other people would chalk it up to being a first time, and he didnt mean it blah blah blah.  Good for you for realizing you dont need to put up with it and leaving, you sound like a strong woman. 

Post # 8
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I am so incredibly proud of you for having the strength to leave!  That is an incredibly hard situation, and you made the best possible choice.  Even eithout bruises, I would file a police report right away – he sounds awful, and might try to accuse you in revenge, so it is best to have the truth filed straightaway. 

As for vendors, I’d be honest with them why you are cancelling – they might have more mercy than expected. 

*hugs*

Post # 9
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I am glad you are ok. I am incredibly proud of you to cancel the wedding. Stay strong and safe. xo

Post # 10
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I know it sucks, but I am so proud of you for dissolving a toxic situation before it got any worse.

Post # 11
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My jaw just dropped. *hugs* I’m so sorry! I wish I could do something to help. I know it must be hard, but you made the right decision (for you & your kitty… I can’t believe anyone would say something like that! <3). *double hugs*

It must have taken some real guts to do this, and you are so brave. <3<3 I hope things go smoothly from here on out. 

Here’s my attempt to warm your heart a little:

Post # 12
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Oh my gosh!!  I am so glad you’re safe and I’m so proud of your strength!  This guy IS NOT worth your time, let alone your lifetime of commitment. It has to be so painful to walk away so close to your wedding, but you will be so glad you did when you find the man of your dreams who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

Keep yourself safe and remain strong!!

Post # 13
Member
3367 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

You absolutely can report this, if you want to. 

A HUGE, LOUD- HELL YEAH to you!!  I spent just over a decade living with this bull$hit and good for you for saying hell no.  I never in a million years would have thought I’d stay, especially as it escalated, but it took me a long time to find my strength.  From what I’ve seen, with the women I’ve met along the way, it never gets better.  Anger management, counseling, prayer~ it doesn’t change. 

I’m cheering for you!  Third time was the charm for me on serious relationships and I am married to a gentle, strong, reliable, loving family man. 

 

Post # 14
Member
351 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m am SO glad you are okay! It takes a lot to end a relationship; let alone end one that involved physical/emotional abuse. 

Be strong and remember that you are a person and that you deserve a loving/caring/kind relationship. 

Post # 15
Member
2539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

happy that you removed yourself from such a toxic situation. this is going to be a hard time…wishing you the best and the bee is here if you need anything!

 

Post # 16
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I admire you for doing what is best for you, your self-esteem, emotional well-being, and physical health. It takes a LOT of courage to make the decision that you made. But I’m soooo sorry you had to make that decision. No one should have to go through what you went through.

I’ve been in a couple abusive relationships. There was a book that really helped me. If you can, I’d recommend getting this book: Get Rid of Him by Joyce L. Vedral. You’ve already made your decision, but this will help reinforce your decision and empower you to do what is best for you. 

 

 

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