- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I took special care to ask my friends and family how they would prefer to be addressed. All of my young married famale friends said they did not want to be addressed as “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.” My mother expressed this preference to the calligrapher, and we provided all the addresses written exactly as we wanted them on the envelopes.
Well, my mom picked up the envelopes last week,and it turns out that the calligrapher took it upon herself to address every married couple with the same last names as “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.”
It was too late to get new envelopes or have the calligraphy redone. I had to call/email my friends to apologize for the faux pas. Then, my mom sent the invites out before telling me about the problem (I live in a different country).
I sent a harshly-worded email to the calligrapher expressing my offense and anger at her doing exactly the opposite of what we requested. She responded that she did so due to lack of space and she couldn’t explain the problem via email or phone. Right…
I’ve asked her to refund the money for the envelopes that were done incorrectly.
This is the wording I’m thinking of the reviews I will post about her work:
My mother hired [calligrapher] to do the calligraphy for the addresses for my wedding invitations on the recommendation of one of our other vendors.
First, I must say that [calligrapher] does beautiful calligraphy. Nevertheless, my overall experience with her was extremely unpleasant.
We requested–in writing–that [calligrapher] use the “Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe” format rather than the more traditional “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe” for married couples with the same last names. In fact, we sent her labels, as she requested, exactly as we wanted the addresses to be calligraphied. At no point did she contact us or inform us that she would not or could not comply with our request. Additionally, she was informed that our invitations would be going out immediately after the calligraphy was completed.
Well, when my mother went to pick up the envelopes, [calligrapher] had completely disregarded our instructions and used the “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe” format. Her excuse was that there were space limitations on the envelopes. Obviously, there is no excuse for her to do the exact opposite of what was requested without at least notifying us first. Although my mother did not feel as strongly as I did about the addressing, she did complain. Apparently [calligrapher] seemed dismayed that women would want to use the modern format, despite the fact that we informed her that this is exactly what we wanted.
I was incredibly disappointed and offended. I took special care to ask my guests how they would like to be addressed. Many women these days reject being addressed as Mrs. Husband’s Name, and I very much wanted to respect my guests wishes.
In the end, there was no time to have the envelopes redone. I have requested a refund for the envelopes that were done incorrectly.
If you are going to use the traditional format, then [calligrapher] is extremely talented. However, if you would like modern etiquette to be followed, I absolutely cannot recommend [calligrapher].
What do you think?
I’m waiting to get her response before out out her name.