(Closed) Calligrapher refused to follow explicit instructions/review wording

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LauraFaye4411:  I think that is a very fair and measured review.

You explain the situation and what she did wrong but you still praise her actual art. 

I see no reason for her to get upset about that review.

Best of luck and I hope you get some money back!

ETA: If she does agree to refund you, I think you should place that in the review as well so that people know she tried to “make things right” even though she completely disregarded your original instructions.

Post # 4
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m a bit ignorant, I don’t quite get why the name format is a big deal – sorry. But I do agree, it’s rather rude to hire someone for a job, give them your specific instructions & they go against that without consulting you.

And yeah your review is fair, you do acknowledge the quality of the work, so I think it’s ok. But yes – I would get a response before posting it.

Post # 5
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013 - Colonial Country Club, Ft. Myers, FL

Regardless if the name format is a big deal or not, you asked her to do something specific and she did not notify you to tell you she wouldn’t do it. Its like asking someone to fill your gas tank with premium and they give you regular.

Post # 6
Member
2086 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

It doesn’t matter what’s standard. She was supposed to do what you asked. If my calligrapher could fit the president’s extremely long address and the addresses of friends who didn’t change names after getting PhDs, she could have made the wording fit.

For those who don’t know, some object to the male-centric way formal invitations have been addressed in the past.

Post # 8
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

“we provided all the addresses written exactly as we wanted them on the envelopes.”

It’s like she purposely did a typo. I think your review was very well written- she did not follow your explicit instructions.

One of the reasons our invites are a little less formal is because I don’t like the idea of being “Mrs. John Doe”- hey! I have a name, thank you very much! We’re going to be announced and John and Jane Doe at the reception- I’m changing my last name, but not my first!

Post # 9
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that you did a good job with the review. I personally don’t see the address format as a huge deal for myself, but you clearly felt strongly about it, and she should have done everything possible to follow your wishes. She just made a decision on her own without contacting you, which is very wrong. You were paying her to do something very specific for you & she didn’t do it. I also agree with what some others have said.. she might have just done it deliberately because she prefers the traditional. You have every right to be disappointed. 

Post # 10
Member
4152 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Fair but firm.

I’m sorry you had such an awful experience.  Especially since you went to all that trouble to ask your guests.

Post # 11
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I also think that your review is fair. I would post this regardless of her response as it could help other brides in the future.

Post # 12
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

What a long, thoughtful letter. I would have simply said, I asked for X and I got Y, I’m not paying for anything until I get what I requested. THANKS. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@LauraFaye4411:  Wow… she doesn’t sound very pleasant.

She completely disregarded your instructions and is now saying that by writing a review stating she completely disregarded your instructions counts as slander?!

I think you are being MORE than fair in your review.

Post # 16
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LauraFaye4411:  She sounds like maybe she’s had problems with this in the past and is trying to keep bad reviews off of the internet. That’s not the way to run a business. Your review is thoughtful and fair. This problem was easy to relay to you via any means of communication and she should have done so. It shouldn’t have been a surprise.

The topic ‘Calligrapher refused to follow explicit instructions/review wording’ is closed to new replies.

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