- 4 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
My Fiance and I are non-theists/atheists. We were raised Roman Catholic/Anglican, respectively. We attend an Anglican church for the community aspect, and the extremely intelligent and well-spoken female minister whose sermons are more about reflecting on the lives we live than on Dogma and the Bible (hence our enjoyment of this church).
I recently confessed my long-held ideas about religion and faith (or lackthereof) to my mother on the mistaken notion that she wanted a truly honest relationship with me. Several days later, I had to endure a disgusting phone call from my father saying that I had hurt them (as if my beliefs were chosen to spite them?) and that I was selfish (for wanting an honest loving relationship with them, just like they purport to want) for thinking for myself, and that I would be a hypocrite to have a church wedding. They said I had to tell the minister where me and the Fiance stand non-religiously, or they would (implying they won’t allow us to have the marriage we want).
To address those who will ask why we want to get married in the first place, we see marriage as a celebration of our relationship and our love (which is a beautiful thing) alongside the family and friends we love, and an outward symbol of our committment to each other. We want to be married by someone (the minister) we love and have great respect for, in a place where we feel to be part of a community.
This all being said, do you think there is any chance the minister will still marry us? How should I approach my parents, going forward? They seem oblivious of the fact that they hurt me with their words (“we don’t even know what we’re celebrating” and “I’m happy your grandparents aren’t here to see what you are” etc.)