(Closed) Calling all feminist bees: What traditions are you skipping and why?

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
Post # 107
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I am a non-traditional, atheist bride: so my wedding already will be skipping many traditional aspects. We are thinking of doing a celtic handfasting ceremony, and are researching having a friend become ordained to do the service. All outside, and very nature-centric.

I’ve decided to have both parents walk me down the aisle to “give me away”… in a purely symbolic reference to my close bonds with them.

No garter retrieval and toss, because I find it gross. I might wear a garter as a suprise for the wedding night tho.

Haven’t decided on the veil: I think they are beautiful but am unsure whether it makes sense for the ceremony we are planning.

I DO want to wear a corset, but that’s just personal preference (also plus-sized and have always enjoyed the style).

Post # 108
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We are both taking both names, MyLast HisLast, no hyphen. We chose mine to go first because we thought it sounded better that way.

Vows will be the same, haven’t worked out the exact wording.

Both my parents are walking me down the aisle, but no “giving away”, another wording thing that I have to work out still. Maybe they just won’t say anything, or something about support.

I’m not sure if I would really consider it a feminist thing but we are having a mixed gender bridal party instead of all girls on my side and guys on his. My side does happen to be all girls because that is who is closest to me, but his sisters are also standing on his side.

We are also mixing up the usual gender roles for the children. We have all our nieces and nephews in the wedding plus our daughter, and we wanted her role to stand out so she is being the “ring bearer”. I’m not really sure what we will call all the other kids, maybe just attendants or something.

I am wearing a veil because I like it, but no blusher.

No bouquet or garter toss.

Unless I know someone would prefer the Mr. & Mrs. HisFirst HisLast wording, our invitations will have both first names.

And our church is a Unitarian Universalist church, which we choose to attend partly for feminist reasons, so I guess that too!

Post # 109
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@AdriannaJean

me too. Im confused. I didnt think that was “non feminist”  thing,just more a family, sentimental thing between a dad and a daughter, like the dances schools have.

Feminist bees, why are you against the dad-daughter dance?

Post # 110
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

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@Roe:  “I’m surprised by a previous post from someone who states she’s not a feminist.  Are there really women who don’t believe that women and men are equal?  Really?

🙁 Yes. But mostly women who say they aren’t feminist don’t like the stigma feminism carries, though they probably are feminists when looking at the definition of the word. Then again, some people believe in traditional gender roles, believe in the religious roles of women submitting to their husbands, etc.

Thank you !!Cool

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