(Closed) Calling all grammar geeks!

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Very elegant. My only suggestion is to use "twelfth" instead of "12th". Since you spelled out 2009, you should spell out all numbers.

Post # 4
Member
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

The big paragraph in the middle is a run-on sentence. I’d try to cut it down into several. Otherwise it looks fine. =)

Post # 5
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

"having declared their intentions to each other and having been given the blessings of their family and friends, are joined in marriage by each taking the other’s hand in the presence of God and, knowing the other’s faults and strengths, have promised to be loving and faithful to one another for long as they both shall live."

My suggestions are in bold. I love the sound of this!

Post # 6
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

Your wording: and knowing the others faults and strengths, promised to be loving

Revision: and knowing the other’s faults and strengths, promise to be loving

Beautiful vows!

Post # 7
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

Here’s my version, with a few edits added (in bold).  Is it so wrong that I luuuurve grammar and editing?

"On this, the 12th day of September, Two Thousand Nine, in Palisade, Colorado

Caitlan C_______

daughter of Dad and Mom,

&

Jed M_______

son of Dad and Mom,

having declared their intentions to each other, and having been given the blessings of their family and friends, joined in marriage by each taking the other by the hand in the presence of God, and knowing the other‘s faults and strengths, promised to be loving and faithful to each other for as long as they both shall live.

As a further confirmation thereof, they set their hands to this certificate

[His signature]     [My signature]

and witnesses, in declaration of their support of the marriage, also set their hands to this certificate.

[Everyone else’s signatures]"

Post # 9
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

that is a lot of prepositions… Also, I would spell out 12th…

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