(Closed) Calling all long engagement bees!….how do you deal?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

Our engagement will have been 16 months when we get married next September. Sometimes it feels soooo far away. Other times it’s really nice because we have all that time to save up and really research and plan things well. 

Admittedly, we have most of the big things taken care of. It’s hard knowing it’s over a year away still. In the grand scheme of things though, we only get to be engaged a short while and married for the rest of our lives (that’s the plan, anyway!)–why rush it?

 

Post # 17
Member
314 posts
Helper bee

Fiance and I got engaged at the end of April and will be married in May 2017, so a 24 month engagement. It’s a longer engagement than we initially wanted but it works for us. I’ve started looking at venues and wedding planners just because I want to get something done wedding wise lol. Waiting that long is difficult but we will be so busy in the next year that it will go by hopefully fast. We’ve been together 12 years so it already feels like we’re married, not much will change except for my last name lol

Post # 19
Member
12 posts
Newbee

I was in exactly the same situation, having gotten engaged in April, wanting a summer wedding but not wanting to wait that long. I just gave in and moved it up to November of this year! There’s no way I can concentrate on anything else in my life while wedding planning lol

There are some negatives though. One is not having enough time to plan. Also pictures may get tricky because it will be cold and the sun sets at 4:30 here in November. However for me, its worth the excitement!

The good thing is that you have plenty of time to DIY and make it perfect:)

Post # 20
Member
25 posts
Newbee

Where I’m from long engagements are so normal! We’re planning to have a 2 1/2 year 3 year engagement and I’m totally fine with it (for now atleast!). We get to save up for it and plan it along with sorting out a house. I like the idea of being his fiance for a while lap it up while I can!!

 

Post # 21
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I’ve been planning for a month. I picked three years because we need to save. But also my grandparents live abroad and I really want visit them a few times in case they can’t come and they will be picking some things for the wedding. 

Post # 22
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

We got engaged in March 2014, will get married July 2016! Time flies by super fast I find! It’s really hard to make actual decisions aha… I’ve been “planning” in my head way too long! I’m sure your engagement will fly by!! : ) Just enjoy that moment in your lives! 

Post # 23
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

As someone who was engaged for 20 months and just got married a couple of months ago I just want to say enjoy every moment. There is so much anticipation and joy and fun in planning a wedding and as amazing as the wedding was, there is a sense of loss when it’s all over. It’s like planning an amazing holiday and then having to come home from it. Being engaged is amazing in a different way but just as special as being married. My .02

Post # 24
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

mishinthecity:  It is!  I joked about waiting until our 10 year.  But THAT was too far away!

Post # 25
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Oh man. I can relate to this. I have almost every planned in my head, and yet we’re still 13 months away from our wedding. Sometimes I try to take a break from the wedding obsession and focus on work, or my upcoming school year, but then I cycle right back around and feel antsy and impatient. Haha. I just want to marry the guy I love! Sometimes I wonder what I was thinking pushing our wedding out 16 months after we got engaged, but then I remember it’s because I want to graduate college first and settle into my career, both of which are good reasons.

Meh. I don’t know. It’s hard, but in the end, I know it’ll be worth it! Someone here said that it’s a sweet time in life, and that’s true too. Once we’re married, I’ll never be a fiancee again. I want to appreciate this time and all its joys while it lasts! You know, before jumping into married life, buying a house, and having children. Gotta slow down and appreciate being engaged! c:

Post # 26
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

jesais:  I always wanted a long (18 month engagement), and now I’m two months into a 19 month engagement! Every time I feel impatient or wanting it to happen already (so like every minute) I remind myself, I was a girlfriend for 10 years, I get to be a wife for 60+(hopefully!) years, I’m going to MILK being engaged for this year and a half! Haha I’m excited to do all the things you’re only allowed to do when you’re engaged.

Post # 27
Hostess
3892 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

BridetoBee2017:  Lol so did I!!!  Our 10 year is a Saturday in 2017 (and 17 is my favorite number!!), but yeah, I think waiting 9 years is enough 🙂

Post # 28
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I feel you. We originally wanted a 9 month engagement but due to finances and so many other weddings around the same time we are pushing it to 15 months, which I know is an average length but it feels like forever to me, when I just want to be married already!

Post # 29
Member
1338 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

jesais:  I’m already married but I had a long engagement and I dealt with it by procrastinating procrastinating procrastinating!  I was afraid I’d change my mind on the things I picked if I picked them too early.  So I didn’t do a thing, not even dress shop until 6 months out and then I lived in a mad panic to get everything done!  The only thing I did earlier was book the venue.  I don’t recommend my strategy lol.

Enjoy this time being engaged without so many to-dos looming ahead of you since you’ve already done so much.  Take a mini pre-wrdding holiday. with your Fiance  That’s something I would have liked to have done.

I think for me the worst thing about a long engagement was I was so sick of my wedding as a subject in general by the time it rolled around.  Because everyone asks you about it to make small talk.  I mean not your closest friends/family because you have more to talk about with them.  But for more distant friends/family, that is their go-to topic to make chit chat with you at Christmas dinner or your cousins wedding or wherever.  That grew very tiresome for me.  

Post # 30
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I was just like you! We got engaged November 2014 and wedding is June 2016. I thought I was going to go crazy because I’m just a planner!

After I planned a whole bunch of big stuff I enjoyed just sitting back and relaxing! You’ll only be in this engagement stage once in your life. I told myself that and tried to take deep breaths!

 

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