(Closed) Calling all parents with one child

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Industrial/Modern

I’ve never regretted having an only child. Lot’s of factors went into my decision to not have any more children… mainly though it was about knowing my own personal limitations and goals. My son is 5 now and each year that passes I feel more sure that I made the right decision. 

Post # 3
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Hanover Grande Ballroom

I have one child, who will be 4 in November. there are times when i wish she had a sibling to entertain her, she is always up my butt! lol

she tends to have ‘only child syndrome’ in social situations. Gets a little greedy and does not want to share, but that is something she learned in preschool 😮

I dont regret it. We may have more children in the future, but for the past 3-4 years, it has been a blessing to devote all of my time to one little human. any more and i may have gone crazy 😉

Post # 4
1759 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We have one DD, but would like another child. I had a MC last October and we aren’t really ‘actively’ trying for another right now, but we aren’t preventing, either. That being said, our DD is almost 10 so I have gone back-and-forth, wondering if maybe we’ve waited too long to add to our family. Deep down I know I’d regret not having another, though (if we were lucky enough for it to happen, anyway).

Post # 5
4980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We currently have one child who was a premie, so I get the aneixty of having another. But quite frankly we want to have another and not have the only child syndrome going on.  Our son does much better when he is around other kids

Post # 6
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

View original reply
Sassy9226:  I don’t have kids yet but I can give the perspective of someone who is an only child. My parents would have liked to have had another child but the doctor didn’t think it would be a good idea due to my mom’s age (she was 41 when I was born and was 43 by the time she would have been ready to do it again). My parents always made sure I had lots of friends around although I will admit that I was a bit spoiled. I never really missed not having a sibling to tell the truth.

Post # 7
656 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

View original reply
Sassy9226:  I’ve always only wanted one child. The way I see it is we will always be able to give her what she needs and some of the things she wants without a struggle. My husband wants to have another baby when before he didn’t know if he wanted any kids and it’s been a source if frustration in our marriage lately. Our daughter is only 9 months old and he already is trying to talk me into having another. 

I always joke and say ” she’s perfect, and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” lol 

plus we own a beautiful 2 bedroom home that I plan to die in lol, having another child would mean buying another house or having them share a room and it’s not something I want to do. I wanted this house because I only want one child. 

On the other hand both of my sisters want like 4 kids lol. I think it’s all about your lifestyle and what you want out of life and having children. There is no wrong amount lol

Post # 8
7111 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We don’t have any yet, but we’re only planning to have one! Kids are expensive and a huge time committment and one seems so much more managable with one. I feel like there are a lot more  thing that you can easily do with one child vs doing with 2-3 kids. And each kid is an extra room (most of the time these days, at least), and extra tuition, extra vacation expense, extra healthcare, etc.

I was an only child and I loved it. There were times when I wished I had a sibling, but I also saw friends who constantly fought with siblings, then I didn’t miss it too much. Since I was an only child and my mom was a single mom, she generally took me along to things she did. I spent a lot of time at the theater, since she did constuming. We went to the ballet and museums and on vacations. We went out to eat with her friends. I was generally well behaved and could entertain myself, at least partially, because I was an only kid  and used to it.

Post # 9
54 posts
Worker bee

My daughter is 12 and she’s my only child. I think having another, now, would feel like starting again. She’s actual company and a little friend to me. We are extremely close! 

My SO isn’t her biological father but he’s been in our lives for 5 years and is great with her! I was working night shift, while I would sleep in- He would take her to the markets and they get pofferties (Dutch pancakes) and buy my flowers lol. 

We can also afford a private education for you at a top school here, which would be harder if we had 2 children. 

Sometimes I think it would be nice, but we are able to do the things we want to do and because she’s 12- she comes with us to most places 🙂

Post # 11
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

View original reply
Sassy9226:  I looked at your post history and didn’t see a birth recap, so I’m not sure exactly what your experience was. However, I would suggest possibly seeking out a tramatic birth therapist in your area if your continuing to have negative feelings about your labor and delivery. It’s possible to develope PTSD after a tramatic labor, and a therapist might be helpful to you to come to terms with your previous delivery and maybe help you if you decide to have #2.

Post # 12
6582 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have 2 kids- but I am an only child myself- so maybe my opinion might be useful!  Overall, I really enjoyed being an only child.  I had more material goods and attention of course because there was no one and no need to spread the wealth.  My parents took me to many plays, concerts, trips that you just couldnt take a carload of kids to.  I think I developed really strong relationships with my parents and to this day we are very close.  The only downfall that I experienced was that I didn’t have anyone to play with at family functions- holidays etc.- but this was also because I had no cousins anywhere close to my age.  If I had cousins- I think it wouldd have been perfect.

Post # 13
5191 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We have one child. I thought for more than a decade that I was a “one and done” parent. And then, when he was 15, the baby rabies hit hard. DS will likely be 17 before we are successful at conceiving child #2. I am 100% starting over in parenting when I am practically done. I’ll have a 1 year old and a child away at college. It’s an entirely instinctual decision for me. My soul is longing for another child in a way that I cannot even begin to describe. I know it is what is right for me, and that is having children and messes and giggles and homework projects and snotty nosesin my life for many years to come.

Post # 14
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

well; i cant say that we will ALWAYS only have 1 child. (well technically i have 2 sons but one is in heaven he passed from SIDS when he was 3 months)Anyways Husband wants another and i just dont know. after we had our second son i was like yes i want another baby. but now that he is 3 1/2 im like you know i dont know if i want another. Some days he is super crabby and mean when he was a baby he had colic so he was up every other hour. but there is a part of me that i just dont want “a only child”. All of our friends (friends with and without kids) always tell us you dont want a only child they are selfish etc etc. My husband if he could would start right now and it is weird because after our first son he was like no only one child well after he passed and our 2nd son was born he really wants another; and i was/am the exact opposite. We will see what the future holds; but as of right now i dont see another baby anytime soon!

Post # 15
2184 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
imhisoneandonly:  So sorry to hear about your DS. I can imagine it would be a hard decision to have another when you’ve been through.

That drives me crazy and I want to smack people who say things like that “its selfish to have one child…” says WHO? you? cause your the authority on all things family? I’ve heard that from my IL’s and I want to punch them every time. Its a very personal choice to have children and especially how many…. for some its just not possible either physically or financially, for others maybe they are on the cusp of being “high risk” and dont want to risk having a child with something wrong with them…either way its no ones damn business!

Im personally an only child and I dont see anything wrong with it. My DH and I are about to have our first and up until now DH has been hammered his whole life that he has to have more then one kid and when I kept after him saying well…why do you HAVE to? He realized it was mostly to do with guilt lol…. I mean we have been talking now about having only one and I know his parents will flip out….but for us…. it may make more sense to have one, I mean if we can give our one child all the possible opportunities in life but having 2 would make things very difficult (just because of certain circumstances…) how is that fair…. I think having 2 is selfish in that instance! Whatever is good for you is all that matters and everyone else who disagrees can get bent lol.

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