Post # 1
Something that seems really common on these boards (which are predominantly American) is people going to pick out engagement rings together before the proposal. I’ve never heard of this happening to any friends / family here in the UK. I know people who propose with a stand in ring but in my mind, if you’ve already bought a ring together, then you’ve already agreed to get married, which is essentially a proposal.
Just a thought… I think this is definitely a cultural difference, but one I thought was interesting and wanted to hear your opinions on it. (Just to caveat – I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do this. Different stroke for different folks and all that)….
Post # 2
Greek Bee here, living in Germany and yes I have never seen that in either of these countries! I also think it’s an american thing. Giving hints on what you like is common but buying it together not.
Post # 3
British bee here.
I’m very specific about jewellery, so we had my ring custom made and designed it together. When it was made, I didn’t see it then until the proposal.
I know other people who have done similar, including my parents who went ring shopping together before the proposal. I also know people who have proposed without a ring, or with a stand in ring (like costume jewellery or a haribo), and then chosen the actual ring together afterwards.
In fact, I think I only know one couple where the ring was a surprise.
Post # 4
I’m American, but my British husband went shopping and picked out my ring on his own.
Post # 5
I can’t get rid of the italics just FYI. But to answer your question, I’m from the US and my SO is European so perhaps I can participate. Before we got engaged, he was clueless about how the engagement thing goes and rings. I never told him directly but I did leave a bunch of hints to let him know what ring I wanted ex. Left magazines out when Tiffany had “The most beautiful ring in the world” campaign LOL. So we never physically went to the Tiffany store together and chose rings (only our wedding rings afterwards). Luckily, that was enough and he understood and I got the engagement ring I have always wanted.
ukweddingbee : ukweddingbee :
Post # 6
I’m American but my British husband was raised in Scotland and Wales. The only conversation we had was him saying “I thought you’d like a vintage ring” and me agreeing and saying I would like that. He did all the research and shopping alone. I didn’t have a clue what the ring looked like until he proposed.
Post # 7
My husband asked for a short list of rings I liked. I think we looked in windows, then I tried some on without him there, and he chose one from the list.
Post # 8
British me. My husband picked my ring by himself.
Post # 9
British Bee here,
We’d discussed getting engaged. He proposed/said lets go buy a ring
We went and chose the ring together and then announced that we were engaged to the world
Post # 10
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
I’m British, and we bought the ring together, but considered ourselves engaged from that point, there was no separate proposal.
I’d never heard of the whole official waiting thing until I joined this site, I still find it a little hard to get my head around to be honest (with no offence meant to anyone, I know it’s the norm elsewhere, just not something I’ve ever come up against in real life). Everyone I know either had a surprise ring, or did the same as I did.
Post # 11
I’m Canadian but DH is British and we were living in the UK when we got engaged. He wanted us to look at rings together and we both picked it out, then he proposed the next night.
Post # 12
I’ve been engaged twice. First time, my ex-fi bought the ring as a surprise, although he knew I wanted a trilogy ring from convos we had when friends got engaged. I didn’t see it or know he had it until he proposed.
Second time, we went shopping together after getting engaged.
I know friends here in the UK who did both of those basic ideas. I don’t think I know any who picked out a ring together before the proposal and then had to wait. I don’t know anyone who custom designed their ring though, maybe that would make it more likely.
In my experience, shopping together after the proposal is very common.
Post # 13
British couple here, my husband chose my ring by himself after a brief discussion of “I would prefer a coloured stone to a diamond”.
My sister got engaged on NYE (total surprise, spontaneous proposal with no ring) and they then went shopping together.
Post # 14
Yeah, I was much the same. Hadn’t ever heard of it! My fiance and I had talked about what colour metal I’d want over the last few years and to be fair, I knew when he was going to propose (he’d organised a trip to Florence for us and normally I’m the one to organise holidays, so it was a bit of a give away). But I hadn’t seen the ring until the moment he proposed….
Post # 15
I’m American but living in Europe and engaged to a European man. We hadn’t talked much about engagement at all until one day he woke up and jsut asked what kind of ring I like. So he definitely intended to go and buy the ring and present it to me.
We ended up shopping a bit together and because I was pretty specific about what I wanted, ordered it together but not sure if that’s the norm.