Calling British/European bees…did you pick out your ring before your proposal?

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 2
42 posts

Greek Bee here, living in Germany and yes I have never seen that in either of these countries! I also think it’s an american thing. Giving hints on what you like is common but buying it together not.










Post # 3
99 posts
Worker bee

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ukweddingbee :  

British bee here.

I’m very specific about jewellery, so we had my ring custom made and designed it together. When it was made, I didn’t see it then until the proposal.

I know other people who have done similar, including my parents who went ring shopping together before the proposal. I also know people who have proposed without a ring, or with a stand in ring (like costume jewellery or a haribo), and then chosen the actual ring together afterwards.

In fact, I think I only know one couple where the ring was a surprise. 

Post # 4
614 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I’m American, but my British husband went shopping and picked out my ring on his own.

Post # 5
5387 posts
Bee Keeper

I can’t get rid of the italics just FYI. But to answer your question, I’m from the US and my SO is European so perhaps I can participate. Before we got engaged, he was clueless about how the engagement thing goes and rings. I never told him directly but I did leave a bunch of hints to let him know what ring I wanted ex. Left magazines out when Tiffany had “The most beautiful ring in the world” campaign LOL. So we never physically went to the Tiffany store together and chose rings (only our wedding rings afterwards). Luckily, that was enough and he understood and I got the engagement ring I have always wanted. 

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ukweddingbee :  
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ukweddingbee :  

Post # 6
4111 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m American but my British husband was raised in Scotland and Wales. The only conversation we had was him saying “I thought you’d like a vintage ring” and me agreeing and saying I would like that. He did all the research and shopping alone. I didn’t have a clue what the ring looked like until he proposed. 

Post # 7
1300 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

My husband asked for a short list of rings I liked. I think we looked in windows, then I tried some on without him there, and he chose one from the list.

Post # 8
1566 posts
Bumble bee

British me. My husband picked my ring by himself. 

Post # 9
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

British Bee here,

We’d discussed getting engaged. He proposed/said lets go buy a ring
We went and chose the ring together and then announced that we were engaged to the world

Post # 10
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - UK

I’m British, and we bought the ring together, but considered ourselves engaged from that point, there was no separate proposal.

I’d never heard of the whole official waiting thing until I joined this site, I still find it a little hard to get my head around to be honest (with no offence meant to anyone, I know it’s the norm elsewhere, just not something I’ve ever come up against in real life). Everyone I know either had a surprise ring, or did the same as I did.

Post # 11
3514 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I’m Canadian but DH is British and we were living in the UK when we got engaged. He wanted us to look at rings together and we both picked it out, then he proposed the next night. 

Post # 12
1058 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’ve been engaged twice. First time, my ex-fi bought the ring as a surprise, although he knew I wanted a trilogy ring from convos we had when friends got engaged. I didn’t see it or know he had it until he proposed.

Second time, we went shopping together after getting engaged. 

I know friends here in the UK who did both of those basic ideas. I don’t think I know any who picked out a ring together before the proposal and then had to wait. I don’t know anyone who custom designed their ring though, maybe that would make it more likely.

In my experience, shopping together after the proposal is very common. 

Post # 13
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

British couple here, my husband chose my ring by himself after a brief discussion of “I would prefer a coloured stone to a diamond”. 

My sister got engaged on NYE (total surprise, spontaneous proposal with no ring) and they then went shopping together.

Post # 15
62 posts
Worker bee

I’m American but living in Europe and engaged to a European man. We hadn’t talked much about engagement at all until one day he woke up and jsut asked what kind of ring I like. So he definitely intended to go and buy the ring and present it to me.


We ended up shopping a bit together and because I was pretty specific about what I wanted, ordered it together but not sure if that’s the norm.

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