(Closed) Calling FI’s SIL “sister”?

posted 12 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do you or will you call your FI's brother's (FBIL's) wife your sister?

    Yes, of course - she is family, even if through marriage

    No, I'd call my FBIL, my brother in law, and refer to his wife by name.

  • Post # 3
    8375 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Is she a FSIL? I mean, she’s your BIL’s wife….i always thought the sibling-in-laws referred to your FI’s immediate family, not their spouses, too.

    I don’t think your feelings are off the norm at all! I refer to my SIL’s husband as my husband’s Brother-In-Law. He’s not “my” or “our” Brother-In-Law. Technicalities I guess, whatev.

    Post # 4
    1364 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Mr Moo’s cousin calls me her “favourite new cousin”. But to me she’ll always be D– the daughter of Mr Moo’s aunt. 

    It’s a matter of personal opinion. But I don’t think it’s a weird reaction to be unnerved (in a way) by it. You have your own family that you’ve had all your life and you’re suddenly gaining a new family through your Fiance – it’s always going to be weird. 

    Post # 5
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I don’t think being married to your fiance’s brother does not make her your sister in law.  By that logic, it would mean her marrying into the family she became her husband’s sister.  Ew. 

    It’s nice of her to reach out to you like that but…ya, I wouldn’t really go for it either.  I am not even going to go for calling my new in laws “Mom” or “Sister”….I will still call my Future Mother-In-Law by her first name, and will never really think of my SIL’s as sisters. 

    The more I think about who ‘technically’ becomes an in law, the more confused I am becoming….

    Post # 6
    486 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t exactly refer to her as sister, no, but the bond could be great… and if it’s in like an email or text and is in quotation marks maybe it is just to be a play on the word, ya know?

    Post # 7
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I call my family people only extending one step beyond marriage. So my husband’s blood relatives are all my family now, but the people that they married in turn are not my “family” such that I would call them brother, sister, or uncle, aunt, etc. I would be apt to refer to them as “my sister-in-law and her husband.” However, we are in some categories together—we are all considered grandchildren together, and I would now think of my sister-in-law’s husband as one of the grandkids. So from certain viewpoints this girl is one of the sisters, and from others, no. I think it’s sweet. But yeah, it’s weird suddenly acquiring these new relations.

    Post # 8
    143 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010 - Victorian Gardens of Two Sisters

    Well, hm.  It’s a sweet gesture that she’s excited for you to be part of “the family.”  I think that if she’s someone you’re going to be sharing holidays and special events with, then she is part of the family, even if she’s not technically your SIL.

    I think everyone’s different in how they receive new people into their families.  I was 13 when my aunt remarried.  My sisters all called her new husband “Uncle Gary,”  I still call him by only his first name.  

    Luckily, your FBIL’s wife won’t have an official title.  You won’t have to be torn about what to call her to her face… just her name’s fine  : ) 

    You can forgo all the awkwardness and reply with something like, “Thanks, I’m looking forward to being part of the family too!” 

    Post # 9
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    meh…i think its a nice gesture, but im with you. im not big on the whole ‘we are all family’ thing now that we are married. my family raised me. these inlaws are just that, inlaws. i am really not a fan of my SIL. we’ve met twice (once at our wedding) and she has her kid calling me aunt. ummmm…no thanks. it makes me uncomfortable, but i appreciate the gesture of inclusion.  doesnt mean im going to start calling her sister or calling him my nephew.  sorry.

    Post # 10
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    technicality.  i do think your SIL is a nice girl!  

    Post # 11
    2365 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    It’s nice that she’s excited, but yeah, I wouldn’t consider her a “sister.” I agree with PP, just say you’re excited for her to be part of the family too.  No harm in that.

    @FutureMrsMorgan: Agree!  My inlaws wanted me to call them Mom and Dad.  I was like, nope I already have parents!  And I call his aunts and uncles and such by their first names.  Also, my Brother-In-Law is getting married to someone with a teenage son…I would be SO weirded out if he called me “aunt”! haha

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