(Closed) Calling FMIL "Mom"

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 17
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I don’t even call my own mom “mom.” I plan to just avoid calling her anything for as long as I can. I don’t find that I have much occasion to use anyone’s name in regular conversation.

Post # 18
3448 posts
Sugar bee

It’s actually kind of funny for me. I call Future Mother-In-Law by her first name and Future Father-In-Law Mr. LastName. After we get married, I’ll most likely call Future Mother-In-Law Mom and Future Father-In-Law by his first name. IDK, it’s just the way things are done, lol. They actually sign all of their cards to me “Love, Mom and Dad J”. Just like that (no joke). 


Regarding your situation: has Future Mother-In-Law told you she wants to be called mom? Honestly the best thing would be to come up with a nick-name has PP have suggested. I don’t quite understand not being able to call her Mrs.XYZ, however. 

Post # 19
1156 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@rbabynorton:  I actually do call my Future Mother-In-Law mom.  It was pretty easy for me.  My mother passed 7 years ago, and my Future Mother-In-Law is the closest thing to the real deal.  What is really weird is she looks, has the mannerisms, and same build and stature as my mom.   We get along quite well too.


I think it is up to the individual.  If calling her mom doesn’t work, then I suggest to call her by her first name.  But I agree calling her Mrs. XXX doesn’t sound appropriate after marriage.  Some of my kids (adult kids)  friends do this and it drives me bonkers, and it makes me feel SOOOO old!   LOL!

Post # 20
11481 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

When I first met them, I called them by their first names, but immediately after the wedding, I switched to calling them Mom and Dad, just as Darling Husband calls my parents Mom and Dad. It’s something all of our parents really love, and, although it was a little awkward the first couple of times I said it, it quickly became normal.

I don’t find that it takes away from my unique and special relationship with my parents in any way. I only have one mother and one father, and I now have a Mother-In-Law and a Father-In-Law. Same with Darling Husband. However, because we became one in marriage, we now have the added blessing of the other’s parents in our lives, too. 🙂

Post # 21
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I call my Future Mother-In-Law “mama.” Calling her by her first name or anything else feels weird to me. 

Post # 22
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - White Point Garden, Charleston, SC

First name. My Fiance even calls his dad by his first name around 50% of the time. I don’t feel comfortable calling her mom as my feelings towards her are nothing like they are towards my own mother. However, Fiance addresses my mother as mom sometimes and they both feel comfortable with that.

In your case, OP, I would do first name.

Post # 23
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I call my Future Mother-In-Law by her first name, unless my future step daughter is around and I call her Nannie Xyz. I hope she doesn’t ask me ever call her Mum, I would feel really awkward

Post # 24
3772 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I call Future Mother-In-Law “Mom” and Future Father-In-Law by his first name, because he is FH’s step dad and Future Mother-In-Law & Future Father-In-Law have only been married since August 2012, so FH doesn’t even call him “Dad”. Future Mother-In-Law has never asked me to call her anything, I just started calling her “Mom” and it stuck.

Post # 25
2838 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I call her by her first name. It’s not weird to us, I guess.  I don’t think I could ever call her “mom”.  For me that is special only for my mom.

Post # 26
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

@rbabynorton:  I call my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law Mom and Dad and my husband does the same with my parents. Felt weird at first but natural now.(We ‘ve been married almost 7 years…)

Post # 27
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I call Future Mother-In-Law “Mama” and Future Father-In-Law “Papa”.

I never called my own parents by those terms and no one else calls Mama and Papa by those terms of endearment except ME!

Post # 28
1009 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@rbabynorton:  I feel weird calling FMIL’s anything but their first name. I tried “mom” and “dad” but honestly I only have 1 mother and father. What about calling her something like “Momma Jane” (insert her first name for Jane obviously)?

Post # 29
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Sweet_Tea:  +1.. I have a Momma (my momma!) and a Momma Donna (FI’s momma). She jokingly uses that as her future grandma name and for her “adopted” children. So I use that or Mrs. Donna.

Mrs. because I respect the crap out of her and first name because we’re too familiar to stick with last names.

Post # 30
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Fi family is super casual so are 

mine. I call his parents by there 1st name. He calls mine by there first names too. When fi met my dad he tried to call him Mr. Xyz my dad stopped him immediately & told him to call him by his first name. Said Mr. Xyz is his dad.. “hahaha” gotta love dad jokes lol

Post # 31
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I currently avoid having to use a title at all. Around my fiance, I just refer to them as “your” parents and “my” parents.  My mom calls my dads parents mom and dad. Wierd to me though.

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