Post # 1
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
We called off the wedding for many reasons some of which I won’t get in to but the point is I couldn’t go through with the whole wedding ceremony and reception. We have everything booked now we have cancel everything. We will lose our deposits but oh well. I haven’t told my parents but they pretty much know…that’s going to be a tough conversation! My siblings knows and my sister is being very supportive.
We have decided to have a private ceremony at Seahorse ranch in northern California, with only the two of us. My wedding gown has been paid for already so at least that won’t go to waste. We still want to have a photographer to document this special day for us. I know it sounds crazy but we went through some crazy stuff in the past five months and after a lot of thinking on my part, this seems like more our kind of ceremony.
My question for the hive is, how crazy does this sound and is there anyone other bees that took this route? If any other bee’s had a private ceremony what was your families reactions?
Post # 3
Hostess
11113 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@LadyX: I hear ya. A small part of me considered eloping when we started planning but we didn’t as I wanted the traditional wedding but at times during the planning I did think eloping would’ve been easier. Fair play to you both, it will be lovely.
Post # 4
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
Welcome!
I cancelled a full wedding 120 days before it was supposed to happen.
Eloping was on the plate from the get go. Our familes do not live near us or each other. Flights, car rentals, hotels would be required to attend our wedding.
Since I did not have a wedding for my first marriage (I eloped as well), I kind of felt like it was time to have a full wedding with guests. It’s my FI’s first wedding so he was on board. He also thought his mom would be “devastated” if she didn’t see a wedding (personally I don’t understand that). I felt I kind of missed out when I eloped originally – HOWEVER it was due to more how unspecial the whole thing went down (for starters we went back to work!)
The researching was this wedding fun, but my family generated so many headaches and stress even before the Save-The-Date Cards were sent out that we reconsidered not doing the wedding and just eloping somewhere on a vacation.
Then my father was given a certain amount of months to live and our wedding just happen to be right in the middle of that time frame. It was final reason why we decided to cancel the whole wedding. I had the venue, photographer, officiant, caterer, ceremony location/music. I was in the middle of researching cakes and flowers but did not put anything down. We got all of our money back, except the photographer which we’ll use for engagements anyway.
Families reactions? My family was completely and utterly relieved. They would have had to fly to us, and they are so relieved that they don’t have to juggle dad’s funeral/end of life and my wedding. FI’s family is very supportive and have offered to be our witnesses whenever we have our special elopement. That was very kind of them.
Post # 5
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
@CatyLady: Yeah in the past we went back and forth about eloping or having the whole wedding but we have finally come to the conclusion that having a nice elopement with a mini moon works for us.
@sienna76: I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad your family and his were understanding of the whole situation. I was worried eloping would take away from the specialness of the day but I now realized for us it will actually add to that special day as odd as that sounds.
Thanks for sharing ladies!
Post # 6
Member
45 posts
Newbee
@LadyX: I don’t think that it sounds crazy at all. It’s a great idea, and your venue looks amazing!!! What a great location for a rustic, romantic, and intimate photosession. I’m imaginging all of the amazing photos that you’ll get from that location!
It’s so easy to lose yourself in all of the crazy wedding planning details. In the middle of all of my planning, I was tempted to elope to Vegas and spend our budget on a whole weekend of relaxind and fun dinners, shows, and the spa. If i did go that route, I would have probably hosted a casual dinner party for all of my closest family and friends at our favorite restaurant just so that we could celebrate together. I think everyone would have been happy with that too. It’s your day so do whatever feels ‘you’! 🙂
My only suggestion would be to get an awesome photographer who can capture all of your special moments so you can share them with your family and friends later on (possibly showcasing them at the dinner?). Congrats and best of luck!
Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
I don’t think its crazy. You had your reasons, and you shouldn’t have to explain them to anyone because the day was yours anyways! I have big wedding dreams, but every once in a while I definitely think of just eloping because its really the marriage that matters, not the wedding. At first, eloping was Fiance and I’s plan, until my family asked me to please reconsider. My mom suggested that I would always have this nagging in the back of my head, wondering what our wedding would have been if I planned it all how I wanted it. I don’t think she’s necessarily correct about that, but that was my families point of view.
I think you were right to cancel the wedding if thats whats best for you two. Thats ALL that matters! There is no one and only way to get married (: Congrats!
Post # 8
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
@tokyohamster: Hosting a dinner at a restaurant actually sounds doable! Great idea thanks! Having the pictures to show case during dinner or maybe brunch sounds fun lol. We visited the location about a year ago and fell in love with it but decided on another location for the conveniece of my family. Now we get the location we wanted all along!
@Riley143: You’re right weddings come in all shapes and sizes lol. My mom warned me as well about having regret if we eloped but we truly feel this is the way to go. Sure I would always think of the “what if” but intuition tells me right now elopement is for us. Plus the SO keeps telling me we can always have a big wedding in the future for one of our anniversaries. I highly doubt I’ll take him up on that offer but who knows 🙂
Post # 9
Member
45 posts
Newbee
@LadyX: YAY for getting married in a place that you love! It’ll make your ceremony all the more special. And I’m not surprised you fell in love with it – it’s gorgeous! Ooo a brunch would be a really nice idea too. I actually came across this really cute wedding breakfast setup, but I can’t remember where i saw it (maybe Style Me Pretty). Whatever you choose, I’m sure it’ll be amazing – you obviously have great taste! 🙂
Post # 10
Member
6123 posts
Bee Keeper
@LadyX: My dad is still with us but I think it’s just a matter of a month or two at this point. I’m flying home monthly now. He’s still lucid. It is so sad to come home and see his declining progress.
The think I like about elopements is that every decision, every penny spent is on you two and becasue you WANT to!
They can be very special indeed. I plan to have a professional photographer, get a lovely gown, pamper ourselves, have a gormet multicourse dinner with champagne. I want to make is special – like a regular wedding with out guests.
Post # 11
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
Hey, if it’s what you want, then who can fault you for that? It’s too bad that you lost so much $$ in the process…but I’m sure you have your reasons. Best of luck!
Post # 12
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
@tokyohamster: Lol thanks!
@sienna76: Wow that is so hard to see your dad so sick. My grandfather had cancer for a few years until finally the Dr’s told him he only had a few months to live. So we saw our grandfather slowly whither away, it was so hard. In the end we realized his suffering was over when he left this world, even as much as we wanted him to stay with us.
You’re completely right, now we get to pamper ourselves! I’m still getting my hair done and make-up done which I am very excited about. Your elopement sounds like it’s going to be amazing and full of love! Makes me feel so much better about our decision.
@bigcitybee: We’re out about $1000 or a little more I haven’t calculated everything but it’s ok, in the end this feels right to me.
Post # 13
Member
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Happy to hear ! It will be wonderful and Im sure a big relief .
Post # 14
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
I was planning a big family wedding for August. Canceled it all and eloped about a month ago. I am very happy we did and it was more “us.”
Since I had already sent save the dates I kind of had to tell people (so it wasn’t a secret anymore but it was still just the two of us). I usually prefaced it with “I was really miserable planning a big wedding” most people responded well to the honesty. I heard prior to and after that we made the right choice from dozens of married people.
Post # 15
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
not crazy at all. the full on wedding shebang is not for everyone
Post # 16
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
I was supposed to have a medium size wedding (abut 85 people) in 3months & 24 days but we’ve postponed it to June 2013 (luckily we haven’t lost many deposits) however what most don’t know is that Fiance & I with 1 couple (best man & his wife, my bridesmaid & now maid of honouor) are eloping on our original wedding date (3 months & 24 days!).
We are worried about telling our families BUT we hope that the blow will be softened by tell them we still plan on having the party in June 2013, well have a commitment ceremony (itll be like a wedding ceremony & most wont know weve eloped) so our parents still get to see their kids get married BUT we get what WE wanted (small, intimate & special).
