(Closed) Calling off wedding for private elopement

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Hostess
11279 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@LadyX:  I hear ya. A small part of me considered eloping when we started planning but we didn’t as I wanted the traditional wedding but at times during the planning I did think eloping would’ve been easier. Fair play to you both, it will be lovely.

Post # 4
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Welcome!

I cancelled a full wedding 120 days before it was supposed to happen.

Eloping was on the plate from the get go.  Our familes do not live near us or each other.  Flights, car rentals, hotels would be required to attend our wedding. 

Since I did not have a wedding for my first marriage (I eloped as well), I kind of felt like it was time to have a full wedding with guests.  It’s my FI’s first wedding so he was on board.  He also thought his mom would be “devastated” if she didn’t see a wedding (personally I don’t understand that).  I felt I kind of missed out when I eloped originally – HOWEVER it was due to more how unspecial the whole thing went down (for starters we went back to work!)

The researching was this wedding fun, but my family generated so many headaches and stress even before the Save-The-Date Cards were sent out that we reconsidered not doing the wedding and just eloping somewhere on a vacation.

Then my father was given a certain amount of months to live and our wedding just happen to be right in the middle of that time frame.  It was final reason why we decided to cancel the whole wedding.  I had the venue, photographer, officiant, caterer, ceremony location/music.  I was in the middle of researching cakes and flowers but did not put anything down.  We got all of our money back, except the photographer which we’ll use for engagements anyway.

Families reactions?  My family was completely and utterly relieved.  They would have had to fly to us, and they are so relieved that they don’t have to juggle dad’s funeral/end of life and my wedding.  FI’s family is very supportive and have offered to be our witnesses whenever we have our special elopement.  That was very kind of them.

Post # 6
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@LadyX:  I don’t think that it sounds crazy at all.  It’s a great idea, and your venue looks amazing!!!  What a great location for a rustic, romantic, and intimate photosession.  I’m imaginging all of the amazing photos that you’ll get from that location!

It’s so easy to lose yourself in all of the crazy wedding planning details.  In the middle of all of my planning, I was tempted to elope to Vegas and spend our budget on a whole weekend of relaxind and fun dinners, shows, and the spa.  If i did go that route, I would have probably hosted a casual dinner party for all of my closest family and friends at our favorite restaurant just so that we could celebrate together.  I think everyone would have been happy with that too.  It’s your day so do whatever feels ‘you’! 🙂

My only suggestion would be to get an awesome photographer who can capture all of your special moments so you can share them with your family and friends later on (possibly showcasing them at the dinner?).  Congrats and best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t think its crazy. You had your reasons, and you shouldn’t have to explain them to anyone because the day was yours anyways! I have big wedding dreams, but every once in a while I definitely think of just eloping because its really the marriage that matters, not the wedding. At first, eloping was Fiance and I’s plan, until my family asked me to please reconsider. My mom suggested that I would always have this nagging in the back of my head, wondering what our wedding would have been if I planned it all how I wanted it. I don’t think she’s necessarily correct about that, but that was my families point of view. 

I think you were right to cancel the wedding if thats whats best for you two. Thats ALL that matters! There is no one and only way to get married (: Congrats!

Post # 9
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@LadyX:  YAY for getting married in a place that you love!  It’ll make your ceremony all the more special.  And I’m not surprised you fell in love with it – it’s gorgeous!  Ooo a brunch would be a really nice idea too.  I actually came across this really cute wedding breakfast setup, but I can’t remember where i saw it (maybe Style Me Pretty).  Whatever you choose, I’m sure it’ll be amazing – you obviously have great taste! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LadyX:  My dad is still with us but I think it’s just a matter of a month or two at this point.  I’m flying home monthly now.  He’s still lucid.  It is so sad to come home and see his declining progress.

 

 

The think I like about elopements is that every decision, every penny spent is on you two and becasue you WANT to!

They can be very special indeed.  I plan to have a professional photographer, get a lovely gown, pamper ourselves, have a gormet multicourse dinner with champagne.  I want to make is special – like a regular wedding with out guests.

Post # 11
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Hey, if it’s what you want, then who can fault you for that? It’s too bad that you lost so much $$ in the process…but I’m sure you have your reasons. Best of luck!

Post # 13
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Happy to hear ! It will be wonderful and Im sure a big relief .

Post # 14
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I was planning a big family wedding for August. Canceled it all and eloped about a month ago. I am very happy we did and it was more “us.”

Since I had already sent save the dates I kind of had to tell people (so it wasn’t a secret anymore but it was still just the two of us). I usually prefaced it with “I was really miserable planning a big wedding” most people responded well to the honesty. I heard prior to and after that we made the right choice from dozens of married people.

Post # 15
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

not crazy at all. the full on wedding shebang is not for everyone

Post # 16
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I was supposed to have a medium size wedding (abut 85 people) in 3months & 24 days but we’ve postponed it to June 2013 (luckily we haven’t lost many deposits) however what most don’t know is that Fiance & I with 1 couple (best man & his wife, my bridesmaid & now maid of honouor) are eloping on our original wedding date (3 months & 24 days!).

We are worried about telling our families BUT we hope that the blow will be softened by tell them we still plan on having the party in June 2013, well have a commitment ceremony (itll be like a wedding ceremony & most wont know weve eloped) so our parents still get to see their kids get married BUT we get what WE wanted (small, intimate & special).

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