(Closed) calling other young brides (18-21) – what are your plans?

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
Member
2921 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I just wanted to say you go for it! Its your life, your relationship. I wasn’t a young young bride but we got married after less than a year of knowing each other so I relate to the backlash! We are very much smugly right and the naysayers have shut their traps! πŸ˜€ 

Post # 3
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

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izzyrebecca:  Congrats to you! I am also your age, and my SO is 22. He has already graduated and has a full time job, but I am still a full time student and I also work part time. We are waiting to get engaged and married until our mid-twenties just because of our preference. I think a lot of the social stigma comes from the idea that people who marry young are not financially stable or independent, which is certainly not always the case. It can be hard hearing criticisms from other people, but in the end it doesn’t matter. I am sending you many well wishes!

Post # 5
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I’m about to turn 21 and my fiancé is about to turn 20, and when we get married we will be 22 and 21. I’m a junior now but graduating a semester early so that we can get married in December of next year, since he goes to another school 2 hours away from mine. He will have a year and a half left of school after we get married, so we will only have one paycheck coming in for that time, but since I’m in engineering we should be okay. I always wondered how people get by with money when both of them are still in college, do you work too, do your parents help out, are you independently wealthy? I’m not expecting anyone to answer that, I just always wondered:) I’m sure everyone is different. If I could marry my fiancé while we were both in school I probably would have done it, it just wouldn’t work with the distance. I don’t get much negativity, just a lot of older adults saying that we have the rest of our lives, I don’t need to graduate early, don’t rush things, etc. but why would I stick around here if I don’t have to?? I hope you don’t get any negativity either, at least in real life! I will be around the 7th person from my high school class to get married out of 70, so that’s not too crazy!

Post # 6
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

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izzyrebecca:  Well I got engaged my first year of college. We tried to wait to get married until I was done. We get married next Friday and I only have one semester left! I put a lot of effort into my relationship as does my fiance and we make sure to communicate our problems because that’s so important! It’s also very important that you have someone that supports you. You can totally go to college while being engaged but you’ll definitely need your fiance’s support because it can be hard. 

Post # 7
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

No judgement but I also wonder about finances with young couples. OP, what are your plans? Do you work? Rely on your parents? Lottery winner?

Post # 9
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

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izzyrebecca:  oh I didn’t think about the financial aid, that’s great! That totally makes sense and nice job on the full scholarships:) like I said, if I could have gotten married in school I probably would have and I’m sure everything just works out eventually! It’s hard to start young with less income but I honestly don’t think it would be easy to start at any point in life! We would have to wait like 5 more years for us both to be in steady jobs (maybe) and I definitely don’t see the point in that! My mom always tells me that I’ll understand why people tell us to wait when I’m her age, but she did the same thing when she was mine haha. Have you gotten any bad comments to your face? I can’t imagine people being rude enough to tell someone anything bad about getting married, even if they don’t agree. All the bad things I’ve head were about other people behind their backs, like wondering if they were pregnant or whatever. And I’ve only heard people talk about the bad statistics online! 

Post # 10
Member
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I seriously have so much respect for anyone who can juggle school, finances and have a wedding. I’m 23, and Fiance is 25 (we will be getting married in 2 years). We both now have steady jobs and just feel right about it now. Even 2 years ago when we started talking marriage (I was in hair school – Fiance was living 8 hours away), I thought I was ready, but now I’m laughing at myself because personally I was not. 

Congrats on your pending engagement and marriage!

Post # 11
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I love this thread, so good to hear about other couples with similar stories πŸ™‚

Fiance and I are both 20, we got engaged in July of this year. We are both juniors in college and we will be graduating May 2017. He is a business major and I am in biology. We have been dating since we were 16, about 3.5 years. We have been living together for 2 years and are in our second apartment (we just moved). We have a dog and a cat and we both work and take classes (full time). I work about 30 hours a week. We wanted a longer engagment so that we can graduate before we get married and save money in the mean time. We also have scholarships, but not full scholarships (pretty much impossible to get where we live).  We will be 22 when we get married.

We discussed marriage before getting engaged. We have a joint bank account and we set a budget and started ring shopping. I picked out my ring and we purchased it. FI didn’t want to get something I might not like (he gets really nervous and second-guesses himself) and since my ring size is 4.5 it would be difficult to return. I never saw it in person (I picked a design from the book) until he proposed. It was still pretty surprising even though I knew it was coming.

We have definitely gotten shocked responses from people who don’t personally know us, but nothing mean. A lot of people think we’re about 23 or 24 so unless they actually know my age they don’t even bat an eye. Both of our families and friends are very supportive and happy for us. 

Congratulations on your wedding! 

Post # 12
Member
1785 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

View original reply
izzyrebecca:  my husband and I are probably considered young to most people. We got married when I was 22 and he was 25, but he proposed to me when I was 20 and just finishing nursing school.

I think what’s acceptable depends on the social norm in your location. In our rural area its really not uncommon to be married before the age of 26. Literally all of our friends now are either married with several kids, or are engaged. 

As for school and finances, we waited to get married until I had graduated nursing school and began a steady job. I work in a small town hospital as an RN and my income is surprisingnly high compared to nurses at larger hospitals. I have full benefits which helps us both out greatly.  He works construction and enjoys what he does. We own our own home (bought it when I was 21) and we have two nice cars. We’re not struggling financially at all, but had we done all this before I completed school it would probably be a different story. I’m actually planning to go back to school to find a career I have more passion for, but for now working part time and making the wages that I do, I feel that we could handle things well.

Getting married young isn’t a burden or a death sentence in our social life as some would suggest. We actually travel more now that we’re married compared to before the wedding and its great to be able to experience life’s adventures with your best friend at your side. Not everyone is obsessed with parties and acting crazy as a young adult, some of us just know what we want and find the right person sooner than others. Best tip of advice is to not go into debt over your wedding. We eloped during our honeymoon and had a beautiful dream wedding, stress free, drama free, and within budget.

Post # 15
Member
1616 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - City, State

View original reply
izzyrebecca:  I sincerely hope it does work out for you guys. Just make sure you can afford to move out and get married realistically based on numbers and facts, not projections and optimism. 

I was engaged at 20, Fiance was 19. We were about to start our senior years of undergrad, so I get the struggle. We are now 22 and 21 and live in a new state while I work full time and he is in a doctoral program.

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