(Closed) calling other young brides (18-21) – what are your plans?

posted 5 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 16
Member
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I’m so happy this thread is so far positive, I sometimes feel ashamed of being married at my age. I am approaching 21 in just weeks & DH is approaching 23 very soon! We have been together for 5.5 years now. We have grown literally so much & looking back we laugh about the fights we used to have or the jealousy. I guess I knew we were ready because of how we communicate & handle situations. 

ive always been way more mature than most my age, because my mom had serious mental health issues starting mostly when I was in 8th grade. I had to grow up A LOT. My mom was in a couple mental hospitals and I had to take care of myself with one of my older brothers working full time to try to give me what my mom couldnt while she was in hospitals. I won’t get into so many details though because this is a positive thread! 

we will be graduating with degrees this spring. 

Financially we both work full time, husband is in construction and gets paid a lot during the summer & also works during the cold months, just less. 

we just bought a beautiful remodeled home & have a golden retriever named teddy πŸ™‚ 

Post # 17
Member
13 posts
Newbee

Im expecting a propsal soon as well! we already picked out the ring :). Im 21 and my future Fiance is 23. I had to meet his parents first, luckily they flew out in october. (they have no idea we have already planned to get married, still dont ) We both are in the military but soon I will be medically retired. We had planned to get married next october where he lives in arkansas, but I absoutely hate the color orange and refuse to have any orange anywhere in sight! (The tree’s) So we switched it to april 2016. I was overly excited and got my dress already to get that out of the way. Turns out his deployment gets moved up to April :(, so now we are having a winter wedding. Which is fine I secretly always wanted a winter wedding. (Not sure if everyone else will be to happy lol….) Money wise we are solid. He has saved up so much money when he was living in hawaii. When I get out of the military I will get a job at michaels or somewhere part time until the next school year starts. The military pays for our college so I will be getting money every month to basically go to school. He gets out in 2019 and I should be almost done with college by then, we are planning to maybe live in oregon, if we like it. With the socially acceptable side, I get so much crap from everybody. Being in the military alot of the guys are, how do you say, playboys? (nicest term I could think of) The girls are no different half the time either! Everybody tries to tell me he probably has a boat boo, just wait for deployment he will be a single man while hes away. “why would you want to get married so young, you’re throwing away your lives!” “You guys should wait because when you mature you will grow apart” It aggravates me so much! I try to not let it bother me but it does! All I know is im madly in love and cant wait until we get married. 

Post # 18
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I haven’t used my account in a while, but I just wanted to pipe in on this thread because DH and I are a success story so far. We got engaged when I was 18 and DH was 22, and we married at 19 and 23, respectively. We’ve now been married for just over 2 years! I’m a senior in college and about to graduate with a bachelors degree in social work, and DH has a great job at a large paper mill. He had already obtained an associates degree before we got married, and he uses it in a very part time job at a TV station in addition to his paper mill position.Β 

I am currently unemployed, but I did work 20-30 hours per week on average up until this spring, as well as a full time job this past summer in order to save up to prepare for my unemployment during this last year of school. I’m currently a full time student and interning at a local non-profit hospice agency, with an excellent chance of being hired upon graduation.

I’m here to say that it can be done! I wish all of you the best of luck in your marriages.

Post # 19
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I got married. Few months ago at 21 πŸ™‚ we have been together 4.5 years living togerther 3.5 years and got engaged at 19.  I have been studying that entire time and he was but is not working. It is tight and hard but I’m happy! No regrets. 

I feel like getting married young is a big decision and the fact that you guys don’t yet live together is the hard part. I personally believe it is important to have lived together before getting engaged/married. Even more so when you are young. Husband and I have changed so much since we were 17 but living together allowed us to understand each other better and grow together. 

Prepare for a lot of negativity, I received so much when I first got engaged, and not from our parents. I still get a lot of questions when I mention husband seeing I look so young.

 

Good luck and I hope it isn’t a mistake!

Post # 20
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Hey! I got engaged just a couple weeks shy of turning 21 and will be married next summer a month and a half after turning 22.  I’ll have one year of undergrad left and Fiance graduates in a month with his Bachelor’s.  He actually just accepted a job today, so that is a huge relief for us!  Money will definitely still be tight, but I have worked my butt off the past 3 years to save, save, save everything I make.  We started dating at the end of my junior year of high school, and we knew my senior year of high school that we wanted to get married.  

We couldn’t be more thrilled and excited to start our lives together!

Best of luck to everyone!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by  FutureMrsW621.
Post # 21
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I got married after I filled out fafsa for my final year of school, so my financial aid was still based on my previous status. That was important to me to not lose out too much on aid, not that my husband is loaded anyway but still.

We got married about a week before my 21st birthday. I remember people telling me it’s crazy to be married before I can legally take a drink.. that’s a pretty laughable reason to me. But I’ve also gotten weird looks from people since he is 10 years older than me. My family doesn’t care though since age gaps are common to us. It doesn’t bother me that people are put off by what we’ve done.. because I’m honestly put off by other people’s narrow minded beliefs too.

Post # 22
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m 21 and my Fiance is 28. He is in the oil field and I’m getting my education cert. Within the next 3 years but I’m substitute teaching w my associates rn πŸ™‚ juggling school and marriage is probs gonna be the same as school and living together tbh 

Post # 23
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Hey, I’m a young bride, too! I’m 19 and my fiance is 23. We are getting married in June 2016. Our situation is a little different, however. We have a two and a half year old son and already live together. My fiancé works to support us and I am a full time stay at home mom. It’s a tough life, but it’s worth it! Just don’t give up on each other when things get tough, because I promise it will be harder than you could ever imagine. Go ahead and get married; the two of you will figure it out together as things come up! Congratulations!!!

Post # 24
Member
5362 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Well this thread makes me feel old, but I’m still a “young” bride by the bee standards haha. 

We got engaged when we were 22, 3 days before we started our senior year of college. We’ve been together since we were 17, living together since 19. We are finally getting married next May, right after I turn 24 and Fiance will still be 23. We have never received comments about us being too young or anything like that. The people who know us, know what type of people we are and know that we have been through a lot (more than most people twice our age) and it has made us who we are today and they know that we will be okay.

Obviously we’re not married yet, but I don’t think being married and in school would be any different than being in a committed relationship and living together while in school. We graduated in May and I start my first full time job on Friday (I’m soooo excited!!!) and Fiance has been with the same company since our freshmen year of college and worked full time throughout college with them and they ended up paying most of his tuition on top of his scholarships. He received a promotion right before graduation so we moved after that and it’s taken me awhile to find a job in our area, but I officially feel like we’ve “made” as of right now lol. Luckily (if you consider it that) we are very ahead financially so we have no worries there but it still feels really “real” now and like we’ve reached adulthood. I think as long as you have a supportive partner, you will definitely make it through school while being married! I honestly don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for Fiance pushing me through college, and I’m so thankful for that! Good luck bee!!

Post # 25
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
izzyrebecca:  Welcome! I’m turning 21 soon and am getting  married in May 2017. I’ll  be 22 then & my fiancé will be just shy of 28. Our 6 year age difference makes our situation a bit different my fiancé had to support  himself from a young age so he’s had a steady job for years now. He’s been putting himself through college & is graduating this year. And then getting his Masters in 2017. I on the other hand have been going thru an aggressive treatment for a disease for over 3 years now. It’s been successful so far & I’m (finally!!!!) Able to apply to college for next fall. I’ll be majoring in Computer science. I’ll be working as well when my health is good enough tho I do have a college fund. 

We are having a long engagement because it was important  to me for me to be healthy when we got married. It’s going to be a day of many celebrations! We’ll  have been together for 4 years by our wedding and living  together for 3. I feel very lucky I met my fiancé at a young age (& that I was ready for that to happen!) My family is so happy and supportive of us. They know me and don’t question my maturity. And I haven’t  gotten any negative feedback from anyone else. (Must be all behind my back haha!)

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  Sci-Fi-Chic.
Post # 26
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2017 - Southern Highlands

Nice to see some other young brides around πŸ™‚ I’m 19 and my FH is 20. We got engaged 3 months ago and are planning our wedding for very early Jan 2017 (2 months before I’m 21), so we have lots of time to plan while we are both working and studying. He proposed on our 3.5 anniversary and our wedding will be 3 weeks short of 5 years together. We are living together at the moment (since we got engaged) and are handling things quite well πŸ™‚ I’ve been living out of home since I was still 17 cause I’m young for my year group (I live in Australia and the grades are less clear cut than they were in Canada, where I’m from). My FH lived out of home for a year before we moved in as well, so we are both used to supporting ourselves, working and studying at the same time. We’re also really good at saving money – I worked pretty much full time last summer even though I was on a casual contract and FH has a job in IT which he’ll be working FT over the summer as well.

I’ll only have my honours year left when we get married, and FH will have one year left of his bachelors because he’s been doing 3 subjects instead of 4 per semester (and working 3 days a week, sometimes 4). I don’t think it will affect us much since we’re already living together and studying and working, and we will not be going into debt over our wedding because I am too money-conscious to let that happen! We will have some financial support for our wedding, but we are planning on paying for 90% of our wedding & honeymoon ourselves.

Post # 27
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

He has been dropping hints so I believe it’ll happen within the next couple of weeks. I’m almost 21, in school full time with a part Time job. He’s almost 20 and has a full time job. we would like to get married after I’ve gotten my degree (2 more years). By then ill be 23 and he’ll be 22. We’ve been together for 4 years and living together for 2 years.

A lot of people make it sound like getting married young is the end of having fun or that you can’t do anything but I disagree. I have never been interested in going out and partying, but a lot of people will raise that point up. People often associate how they were at that age to others, but everyone is different. I’m glad there has been a lot of positivity in this thread! 

Post # 28
Member
44 posts
Newbee

View original reply
izzyrebecca:  I am sooo new to this so heres my first post!! hahah I am 19 also, engaged 5/11/15 and planning a 2018 wedding – just to give us time to settle down (J wants kids before wedding…. sorry what?!?!) ahahah!

 

I am so happy he proposed young! I want to be a young bride, young mum and young (new) wife.. In saying that, not too young. It’s your life and noone else can tell you how to live it or tell you whats right or wrong. Most people have been supportive, but most people know we are super mature for our age and have always had a very “serious” relationship. 

 

As for juggling “married life” and study.. I dont think it’d be that different, just a new surname and ring πŸ˜‰ I am currently studying and will be for atleast another 3-6 years, J has a job in a trade.. I don’t think being married young is wrong, simply showing your love early on and appreciating it longer <3 

 

 

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