Post # 16
vegjules: Catcalling is not a compliment and is not intended to be a compliment, as much as the catcallers would like you to believe it is. It’s sexually aggressive behavior that is excused because ‘boys will be boys’ and all that other bullshit. It is rude, obnoxious, aggressive, and intimidating. I have been given actual compliments by men on the streets before: “I love your outfit”, etc….which makes me feel really great. But that is VERY different from someone whistling, shouting obscenities or other adjectives about my appearance that just make me feel like a piece of meat. I can’t wait for the days when I can walk down the streets without headphones in and not hear men shout about my ass or legs.
Post # 17
justwondering2015: Some jerk was catcalling me one night as I was walking down the street WITH MY MOM. Then he did the “hey girl smile” which – don’t get me started. I think that any woman who murders someone for saying that to her is legit justified. I ignored it and kept walking and then he yells “geez lady – why did you raise your daughter to be such a fucking bitch?” oh HELLLLLL NO dude! No one talks to my momma that way! I turned on my heel, got right up his face and gave him two pieces of my mind! I made quite a scene and other people on the street were watching me. Even thinking about it right now is getting me all pissed off again.
Post # 18
nattybeee: My husband is 37 and we rollerblade frequently for exercise in the summer.
justwondering2015: Good for you, OP! They may not have been outright “catcalling” you, but you’re dead-on when you say that what they were doing was an intimidation tactic. Losers.
Post # 19
vegjules: Thanks for the hot life tip! I’ll be sure to smile and thank the man who is following me down the street muttering under his breath about my ass, or the man who drops down next to me on the train and asks where I’m going and if he can come with me. I’m sure I’ll really miss being made to feel unsafe in public, it’s just so much fun right now.
Post # 20
vegjules: “I only wish I’d still get catcalls! Be gracious about it. Smile and say thank you and move on.”
Never say that to any woman ever.
I will not be gracious about it. A compliment and a catcall are totally different things. I don’t NEED compliments either because I love myself and that’s enough. If I need validation, I’ll ask my husband what he thinks of me.
Post # 21
annd2015: Agreed! I had men stop me when I had a pixie cut and tell me “that haircut looks really nice on you” and that was that. I thanked them, they smiled, and walked away. That’s a compliment.
I have been stopped by men when I’m wearing one of my Star Wars shirts, and they’ll say “nice shirt” and I’ll say “thanks” and again, that’s that.
Tooootally different ballgame.
Post # 22
Don’t forget to, “smile honey.”
Post # 23
Perfect response came up as an ad from SnorgTees on the side:
“To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene iii, Line 87: NO.”
Post # 24
It’s never a compliment…it’s creepy.
Post # 25
vegjules: You’re kidding….right? I am 56 and I don’t miss a second of it (unfortunately, I still get it once in a while and it still makes me feel terrible).
Post # 26
justwondering2015: To get to my running trail I have to go about half a mile along a street. And I get honked at, a lot. Several times I’ve been startled and almost fell as a result. Once the car was literally 3 feet away, if you’ve ever heard one from that close you know a car horn is LOUD. And not that it should matter, because we should be free to wear as little as the law allows without being harassed, but I do not run in crop tops and booty shorts, I’m pretty covered up. I never get to confront these asshats because they’re driving away at 40mph. So thank you for living out my fantasy.
Post # 27
delena76: I started getting really agressive about people telling me to smile my last year of college. My responses ranged from, “Don’t ever tell a woman what to do with her body” to “Do you make a habit of instructing strangers on what to do with his or her body?” to “Is your manager a woman? Great. Can you get her for me?”
I’m just walking along, listening to music, minding my own business and my resting bitch face has nothing to do with you, and effects your life in literally no way. I don’t know when, why, or how people started thinking it was okay to tell strangers to smile.
As for catcalling – ew. I honestly would have tripped one of them as they circled me. They weren’t encouraging you, and I can’t imagine that they genuinely thought they were, either. “Keep up the good work!” as you pass by on rollerblades is completely different than passing by, coming back, and going in circles around you.
Post # 28
justwondering2015: Wow, that’s a pretty agressive case of catcalling! While the “good jobs” seem nice, being circled by two strange young men sounds really weird and off putting.
I’ll be honest and say that I’ve always felt sort of confused by catcalling. Sometimes it does feel like a compliment. But sometimes it feels really threatening, even if it’s tame. I remember walking down the street in a foreign city by myself and I had a young man shout out, “your beautiful!” as I passed him. I was LIVID and I still am not really sure why. I mean, it’s a nice thing to say and on another day I probably would have been like “go me” but in this case it just made me so mad, I think because I was already feeling vulnerable being all alone in a new place. I stopped and looked at him and said, “you know, that’s very rude.”
I guess it is rude to just shout out your opinion of a strangers body on the street.
I think this all operates on a really deep instinctual level and it’s all about a deep seeded fear of rape. I think a man can only really experience the same feeling if he’s catcalled by another man, rather than by a woman.
Post # 29
justwondering2015: Yeah if someone is running with ear phones in and you want to encourage them I would say a solid thumbs up and a smile is plenty. Coming up to a strange woman alone in a park has me thinking should I punch you in the throat or groin first before I try to run away and call for help, because I think you might be about to attack me.
Also, Unsolicited remarks from strangers are never a complement. I would make an exception for cases like band t-shirts, movie shirts, politcal ones etc, “oh cool fellow fan, have a great day!” and be done.
Post # 30
Usually if a catcaller is rude I’ll say, “Fuck off!” Especially if they make sexual remarks. If it’s just something like “You’re beautiful” I’ll say thanks.
The other day a customer at work came up to me and said: “No disrespect, but for a big girl you take very nice care of yourself.” I was like wtf, he’s implying that bigger people are sweaty, stink, lazy, etc. I simply said, “don’t comment on my body, thanks.” The funny part is I’m not even large…? Lol