Post # 1
So today my fiance’s aunt received my save the date and wrote me on facebook…..
“Got the wedding invite this week!!!! YAYAYAYAYAY!!! We are so excited to share in your big day next May. The girls want to get new dresses, and so do I (wink, wink!!)! Where will you be registered?”
Which is great and sweet… but “The girls” (her kids) aren’t invited. They are traveling from Canada to NY and I’m sure it will be hard but my venue didn’t give us much of a break on children.
We didn’t plan on any kids.. because if it’s one kid.. it’s all kids and that adds up.
My plan was to write “Adult Reception” on the invites…
Is that enough? What am I to do? I feel like I have no choice but to have her kids come now.
Post # 3
We ran into some simliar problems. We put adult reception on the invite and indicated on the RSVP how many adults were invited. We wanted a kid free wedding and reception and had family and friends that would be coming from out of town and out of state. We took it on a case by case basis once we sent all the invites out. Some people took it harsh but most understood. You have to be ready for family and friends not to attend just for the fact that their children will not be invited becasue mostr likly it will happen. The best mans wife pulled crap about it, send in the RSVP that said no one would be attending. She said he couldn t be in the wedding if they could not bring their 2 very young kids, after she agreed with us that it was our choice to begin with. We said it was much more important for them to come so we said they could bring the girls. The day of the wedding only my DH’s friend showed not his wife and kids…so we paid for 3 extra people. No explanation. Most of my fathers side of the family did not come because we had a no kid function and they would all have been from out of state, and a few on my Darling Husband side did not come for the same reason.
Post # 4
I would let her know asap that it’s an adults only reception, that way she doesn’t start buying plane tickets for her kids. I feel your pain 100% as I am having an ages 12 and up wedding and so many people are mad about it. But at the end of they day, it’s YOUR wedding and you get to decide who comes. If people are that mad about it, they just won’t come. Our venue works with a nannying/babysitting company, maybe you could look into that for them? Also, alot of guests told me they are bringing their kids, but they just meant to the hotel and they had gotten a sitter. Confusing!
Post # 5
Oh man… I feel like this is just so touchy… I don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side… I guess i just figured people would understand that it’s adults only unless it was sent to the whole family. Thats’ how my whole side of the family works. I guess not his.
I want to tell them as soon as possible but ahhhhhhhhhh.. I feel awful and I know Future Mother-In-Law won’t do it.
My fiances said that we will just have to invite them then… but that’s A LOT more money coming out of our pocket… Then the next thing he says is “Well, Let’s cut our losses and go to city hall.
He knows how to push my buttons.
Thanks for your help!
Post # 6
Eek, I know how you feel… we ended up deciding to do a kids’ room at our reception to get around this–a place where the kids can eat together and have a fun evening with our hotel’s nanny service–we’re doing a film, wii, some games, and (of course) kid-friendly meals. Maybe you could do something similar so that at least the younger kids will be out from underfoot?
Post # 7
we are having heaps of kids.. i really would love a limited number, but its just not possible. so i do think you should stick to your guns and say no kids! and tell them asap so she doest go out and buy dresses. dont lie to her about it tell her the truth. dont give more than one excuse cause it will sound like your lying!
also dont say we are not having your child due to costs as she might say “oh ill pay for them” it will just open up another can of worms you wont want to deal with!
so do say something like we are having a child free reception as the venue we have hired does not allow for this to happen, we are sorry for the inconvienece and hope to see you both at the wedding. but dont make it a reason that she can find a solution to! (and end up bringing her kids!)