(Closed) Came out to FI about bisexuality, and his response was… (long)

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mumeishi:  Very cool that he was cool about it.  Owning your sexuality is a very healthy thing and lots of people are happily bi-sexual.  But you can let your Fiance know that no not all girls are attracted to girls.  I’m only sexually attracted to men, so very on the hetero side.  I think we are all just born with this preference thing, at least I guess so.  But I personally have never even been bi-curious.  Well, maybe a little, but only a very little.  πŸ˜‰

Post # 18
Member
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@urchin:  +1

First, I love your FI’s response! What a great guy!

Second, I also considered myself bisexual for many years. Then I actually had sex with a girl. It wasn’t horrible, but it just didn’t “work” for me! I still think girls are smokin’ hot, but I it’s different from a desire to actually date them/have sex with them. And I identify as straight.

Post # 19
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Good for you! No judgement from this corner whatsoever. Even happier for you that your Fiance was so understanding and supportive!

Post # 21
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@mumeishi:  hey nothing wrong with that!! Everyone has their own preferences and desires πŸ™‚ 

Post # 22
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@mumeishi:  It’s cool that he understands and trusts you without judgement! I’m glad you also seem to be comfortable with your sexuality. It can be hard, especially with the question of, “Are you sure you’re really bisexual and not this or that?” “How can you be attracted to both genders?” etc. Stay true to yourself; that’s the most important thing!

When I came out as bisexual to DH, his response was similar; it was more of an, “I know that already, silly. I love you. You’re awesome. Let’s discuss some hot celebrity women we like.” I have always known that I am equally attracted to both/all gender associations (as in I would be very comfortable dating someone that is transgender), but was afraid that DH wouldn’t take it well. Those fears turned out to be totally unfounded; he is completely okay with my sexuality. He knows I am with him for the long haul and that I may find people attractive but would never cheat on him. πŸ™‚

Post # 23
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@mumeishi:   I’m really glad to read your response!  It does sound like you’ve thought through this a lot so I’m so happy that you have the support of your FI!

 

Post # 24
Member
1283 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Sounds like you’ve got a great partner! I think queer is a great way to describe what you’re feeling; at the end of the day, you get to decide what you want to lable it (or if it even needs a lable!).

I’ve got gay friends who also like the term queer- there has been a reclaiming of the word and I think it does nicely to catch-all people who blend or seek to blur the gender and sexual orientation lines. In terms of sexual orientation, there are so many different terms- from heteroseuxality, to homosexuality with pan-sexuality and bisexuality among others also thrown in there. So, to me, queer is great!

Post # 25
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

In my opinion, bisexual means attracted to males and females. Biromantic means romantically attracted to males and females. Bisexual is usually used to encompass both.

It’s up to the OP how she chooses to identify, but I’m a bit surprised by people asking “are you sure?” Just my two cents.

I like the word queer, but it’s not for everyone. I use it because it’s a lot easier than explaining all the different identities I could otherwise tack on to myself. =P

Post # 27
Member
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@mumeishi:  I think it’s really awesome that he took it so well! And, really, the whole trusting you not to cheat thing is pretty much the key. It doesn’t really matter WHO you’re attracted to if you’re also attracted to your SO and plan to be faithful. I guess the concern would be that since you haven’t acted on your attraction to women, you’re missing out and will be unsatisfied. But really- anyone who has only had one partner or a few partners or is settling down without exploring every last possibility is also “risking” that. Congratulations on being brave and honest! 

Post # 28
Hostess
10344 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

@mumeishi:  I don’t like it because I assign a negative connotation to it. I have a lot more racust, homophobic, ignorant family members than I would like to admit, so I guess I’ve never had any experiences where the word was used positively. Just a personal thing.

Post # 29
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

View original reply
@mumeishi:  But I really DON’T understand! If you had said “oooh, don’t judge me, but I might be bi, so I cheated on my Fiance just to make sure”, then you might be getting flack!

Reading this, you both just seem… completely normal. Is there something I’m missing here? Some deep dark secret, LOL?

The topic ‘Came out to FI about bisexuality, and his response was… (long)’ is closed to new replies.

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