Post # 1
Hi ladies! I posted this on the christian board but wanted to see what you all thought. I’ve had varied responses, but most were on the “yes” side.
The event space where I’m getting married lacks a real backdrop to actually have the ceremony. It’s basically a brick wall. So, in order to create a beautiful backdrop and pretty pictures, I thought of an arch. But every time I searched “beautiful arch,” I got something like this:
wamp-wamp. I wanted something with more drama and not so traditional. I also wanted to continue a religious theme throughout our wedding.
I did my research and found that in Hebrew, chuppah literally means “covered,” as in covered by God. It’s also a symbol of the home the couple will make together, and the four open walls signify hospitality, like in Abraham’s tent. I think it’s a beautiful symbol of starting your marriage under God and starting your home together.
Something like these? (maybe not as dramatic as the first one, DANG!)
On this last one, the bride chose to have her guests write blessings and have them put the notes on the branches before the ceremony. How beautiful is that? Being married under the support of your loved ones?
What’s stopping me from doing this is that I’m worried everyone will be like “What? they aren’t Jewish!” or I’ll offend someone by stepping on tradition. I also know that I could adapt the look of some of the branch/flower chuppahs to an arch, but I like the symbolism of the chuppah and would like to mention it somewhere in the ceremony or on the order of service.
So bees, what do you think? Offended? Flattered? Don’t care? help!
Post # 3
honestly i agree with most of the people in the first thread – i don’t think there’s anything offensive about it. and lots of non-Jewish people get married under some sort of structure that serves as the focal point of the ceremony. it is less traditional if you don’t use fabric, although my cousin’s chuppah was covered by her mother’s veil which was awesome and meaningful and of course ANYONE could do that. our was mainly flowers and branches. we had an interfaith wedding as well. i think the concept/idea of the chuppah is great symbolism – the home, open on all sides to welcome family and friends. i agree with calling it a canopy as a more general word. you can explain it in your program if you want to.
Post # 4
I’m going to have to say no. A chuppah is a uniquely Jewish tradition, and when I see non-Jews underneath one it actually really offends me. Interfaith is a different matter-if one person is a Jew, then they are entitled to their chuppah! Calling it a wedding canopy doesn’t really fix it for me, either. That is what a chuppah is. Don’t be disheartened by that arch (it is pitiful, isn’t it?). I’ve seen some beautiful ones out there!
Post # 5
I am Jewish and it doesn’t offend me at all to other denominations using the chuppah. I think its symbolism is beautiful and its amazing to see it cherished.
Post # 6
I am also Jewish and would not be offended by people of any religion having a wedding canopy, though it would probably make more sense to just call it a canopy in that case! The word chuppah has Jewish symbolism that might be inappropriate but many cultures have used canopies. For example the mandap is another kind of cultural wedding canopy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_mandap
Post # 7
@andy113: Oh, my, I just saw your post, and realized that you had the same ketubah we did. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone else who did!
Post # 8
Those inspiration pictures are so beautiful. I love the blessing notes idea. I don’t think having a chuppah would be offensive at all. It is really a nice way to set up the space, and make a focal point for your ceremony.
Post # 9
I am totally doing the same thing! I don’t think it’s always considered a chuppah just because you want to get married under something. Pick out something beautiful and enjoy!
Post # 10
I don’t think it is offensive and being a Christian bride myself, I am having one and calling it a chuppah. Granted Mr. Shef is Jewish, I don’t know a single person in his (unecessarily large) family that would have a problem with a Christian couple having one. If you talk to the more conservative Jews you will find more resistence but the more Reform Jews you talk to you will find more encouragement. I think you pretty much got your answer on the other post. Putting it in the Jewish section wont change your answer because everybody can see posts from all sections. Now, you also mentioned in your other posts that there wouldn’t be any Jews present that you know of. So, really, there isn’t anybody to offend other that possibly Jews you don’t know and, in all honesty, you don’t really care about. It is YOUR wedding NOT THEIRS. Nobody is going to see pictures and stop you and say “Excuse me. I saw that you had a Chuppah and even called it that. Are you Jewish?” They are simply going to oogle over your wedding and pictures for the beautiful event it is. Stop worrying about it. If you think it has alot of really important or meaning full aspects of it, DO IT. Again, it is YOUR WEDDING. Nobody elses. As my mom put it, “People will give you their opinion about the details big or small until the second they see you on that aisle in your big pretty white dress. At that point the only person those details will matter to is you. Make them memorable for you and who gives a rats-ass what they think. If they want something different so badly they can have their own damn wedding.” Eloquest isn’t she? lol. But seriously, think about it.