(Closed) Can a school not hire you because you are getting married?!?!?!?!?

posted 10 years ago in Career
Post # 3
2434 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I think your Fiance is right.

My mom is a school nurse and they are very stringent about giving time off on days before/after holidays and other things.  And she’s the nurse- not the teacher in the classroom.

When you think about it, teachers only work max 10months out of the year anyway, and you’re asking for the first 1/2 month of the school year off!

Those first 2 weeks are critical- do you really think they want to hire subs for both of you for the first 2 weeks?  Do you really want to start 2 weeks behind everyone else at a new job?

With the corporate world it’s 12 months a year, academics isn’t the same way.  Also in corporate, your coworkers just pick up the slack.  With teaching they need to essentially hire somone to replace both of you.

If you really want the job, I would advise against taking the first 2 weeks of the year off.

Post # 4
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

In my work experiences, there is a trial period after you’re hired, where they just make sure the job is a ‘fit’ for all parties involved.  Six weeks usually.  Plus there is a period where there’s no accrual of time off for vacations.

Now I had an issue where I had a vacation planned up front and it was already paid for.  When I switched practices, I negotiated this into the hire agreement and all of us were happy.  I work in medicine and it’s a job year round.  Also you are needed pretty much all of the time.  And I do certain testing, and that has to be scheduled and pre approved so time off has to be arranged. 

Negotiate this.  Let them know you’re all about giving them 100 percent, but this is your wedding and will be ready to jump professionally and responsibly into this new part of your life after you return from the honeymoon.  ALL things are usually negotiable when handled professionally and gently.  Does your trip have to be 12 days?  Can a week or maybe 10 days suffice?

Again, negotiation and compromise always seemed to have worked for me. 

Post # 5
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I also think your Fiance is probably right.  The beginning of school is so important and while they might sympathize with you getting married, they need some sort of stability for the kids and that’s where their first priority lies. 

I know when you start a new job you let them know of plans you have previously in the coporate sector they will usually give you the time off even if you haven’t accrued vacation yet, but even still it’s always a case by case business.  I do know that when hiring new people, though, most companies don’t really like to approve time off during your first 6 months of employment.  

Can you possibly take a minimoon right after your wedding, then a longer trip a couple months from now?  Something like that might be a little easier to negotiate in my opinion.

Good luck and please let us know what ends up happening!

Post # 6
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Outdoor ceremony, banquet hall reception

I definitely don’t think it’s a plus.

I’m a teacher, and I can’t imagine taking the first two weeks of school off. That’s a critical time when you and your students are establishing a routine and setting expectations. Technically, I don’t get any traditional vacation time at all- only sick/personal days. But that’s because we get two weeks off for Christmas, a week at spring break, and two entire months in the summer. Not to mention random days here and there for other holidays.

Teaching is definitely very different from a traditional corporate job. I would adjust your honeymoon plans if you really want this position.

Good luck!

Post # 7
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This is my dilemma as well. I too am a teaching getting married in September.  I will be moving 4 hours south and will need to get a new teaching job.  Working in the teaching sector for the past 5 years at a wonderful district, policies are really strict with taking "personal time" off for any sort of vacations.  They majorly frown upon that. 

With that being said, being a new hire is completely different.  As your Fiance had mentioned the first 2 weeks are CRUCIAL for the students and building rapport with the parents.  Many back to school nights happen within the first 2 weeks as well.  My Fiance and I have decided to postpone our honeymoon until we know for sure what’s going on.  (That’s if I can find a teaching job in this economy.  Best of luck with whatever you guys decide on.

Post # 8
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m a  teacher and I would say no, its not a good idea. Because there are so many  breaks built into the year they would definitely reconsider hiring you. Also, the first two weeks of school are integral to setting up routines and settling the kids in. It’s difficult to come in 2 weeks later and suddenly switch up teachers.

I would rather plan for a honeymoon that would end in August or plan for one during the Christmas break instead. 

Post # 9
700 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think your Fiance is spon on about this as well.  As a teacher, if I put in a request for the first two weeks of school off, it would be denied without a second thought, and if I were a new hire, they would have told me absolutely not.  There is so much orientation and training that you would need (sometimes by state law) that cannot be rearranged or taken individually.  Could you post pone the honeymoon for a little until you’re established in the district? 

Post # 10
94 posts
Worker bee

As a teacher, taking any 12 day period off is an absolute no no. Also attaching a day to a vacation such as christmas week or spring break is looked at badly, and most administrators would not approve those days off. The great thing is that as a teacher, you do get two months off in the summer, christmas break, February and Easter vacations, in addition to all the federal holidays. Unfortunately, those are the most expensive times to travel. If you can get a teaching job in this economy, i would take it, and save up the money to take your honeymoon Christmas time. It may not be what you had hoped for, but this is why many teachers plan on getting married in the summer months.  Good luck.

Post # 11
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

They can’t not hire just because you are getting married, but they can not give you the job if you are not available when for the required dates of employment.

Post # 12
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Jenny Bee nailed it- they can’t not hire you because of marriage, but they can not hire you because you are not available for their required dates of employment

Post # 14
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I think that’s the way to go, Angela.  And it sounds like they aren’t really looking t onot hire you because of the fact you’re getting married anyway.  And in this market, I’m sure there are plenty of people looking for jobs that are qualified, and willing to start when needed.

And as an aside, for anyone who has dealt with a "trial period", that is actually bull.  HR people don’t tell you that, becuae most people don’t know better.  But really at the end of the trial period, if they don’t "hire you", (ie. fire you) it better be for a very legal reason.  Once you start a position, employment laws, discrimination, unlawful termination etc, all apply.  And starting a positoin on a "trial basis" is still starting a position.

Post # 15
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I have been a teacher for 15 years. We get 12 1/4 days of sick leave a year. Of these, three may be used for personal reasons, but not to exceed your total of 12 1/4 days. Keep in mind that we are told that requests for personal leave will not be granted the day before or after a holiday. Also keep in mind, at least where I work, that if you go over your personal leave goes over the three days you are allowed for personal leave-that it is UNPAID leave. You also want to guard your leave carefully bc babies come along, husbands get sick, you may have to have a medical procedure or surgery of some type. Once you go through your sick leave-meaning for example, maternity leave, it is also unpaid leave. If you have a baby, you will still get your maternity leave, it will be granted, but if you don’t have the sick leave to cover it-most people take 6, 8 or 12 weeks-your leave will be unpaid. If you haven’t thought about this-I HIGHLY encourage you to take both short term and long term disability insurance. I’ve used my short term several times-when I had my tonsils out, when I had hernia surgery and when I got put on bedrest during my pregnancy and then due to complications during delivery, I was out of school a long time.

Post # 16
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Being in HR I would have to say that I’m totally I’m with Jenny Bee — perfect way to say it.  They can’t say they won’t hire you because you are getting married – that is not legal. But they can say they won’t hire you because you aren’t available the first two weeks of the school year. Also, I would strongly suggest not attempting to hide this from your potential future employer because that wouldnt be a good idea.

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