(Closed) can anyone EMPATHIZE with small amount of guests disappointment please?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
604 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s funny…we wanted a small wedding but ended up inviting 91 people. In the end, we’ll probably have about 70 — our original plan, but seems small to us now that we invited more and got a bunch of declines.

Also (separate but related vent here) … we’re already 4 days after our RSVP deadline and still missing responses from 16 people. That’s the most hurtful: I can understand if people can’t make it, but I take it a bit personally if they can’t even be bothered to respond!

Post # 18
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

We invited 175 and had about 95 in all (including) us. Everyone had to travel so that had a lot to do with the low number. There were lots of people–including my father-in-law–that did not come to the wedding. When we got the No’s I was disappointed but then I started adding up the cost savings.  My husband and I planned on spending a certain amount of money and we agreed that while maybe it would be smart to actually save the cost difference, we ended up putting it back into upgrades for the wedding that made the experience that much better for the people that DID show up. For example, we rented vans with drivers to transport all of our guests and upgraded the bar.  We also ended up adding an extra hour at the end of the reception because people were having so much fun.  I really do feel empathetic for the disappointment, but I promise that the wedding will still be amazing 🙂

Post # 19
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I completely understand.  We invited about 260…about 170 rsvp’ed yes and only about 75 showed up…that was really frustrating.  It was definately noticable to me and my husband on our big day.

Post # 20
Member
553 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That is too bad that you are disappointed. It is frustrating when things don’t turn out on what is supposed to be your day. I know I would be disappointed too. Hang in there, grieve and be disappointed, then gear up because it will be a great day regardless!

Post # 21
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

That is frustrating! I’m having a much smaller wedding (80 invited, about 50 expected to come – lots would have to travel VERY FAR), but I would be so sad if only 30 people came after we rented such a beautiful venue and put so much effort into it. I also have the opposite fear – that all 80 will magically show up and we will have to feed them! 

Hopefully your dad can round up some extra partiers and you can have your wished-for number, or very close to it. 🙂 

Post # 22
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I had a similar thing happen with my wedding.  There were a number of family who were talking about trying to make it but in the end did not.  We invited 130, planned for 80 but had 60 show up.  I was disappointed at first.  However, the day of the wedding was fantastic.  The 60 people who came had a great time, enjoyed the day and we got to talk with everyone.  🙂

Post # 23
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh honey, I feel ya. We are having a destination wedding in Cabo San Lucas and invited about 75-80 people. Looks like we are BARELY going to make the 25 mark. Don’t get me started about a few open RSVP’s over 3 months past our RSVP date.

I commented to my fiance that I was worried our wedding “was going to be a dud.” He said, “the only way it’ll be a dud is if one of us doesn’t show.”

Made me feel better, but I still wish some key people in my life that can’t make it due to financial or family reasons were going to be there.

View original reply
@kpope51486:  WTF?!?!?!?  How shameful of those 100 ppl not to show. That’s A LOT of money out of your pocket. I would definitely have called and asked for an explanation. WOW.

Post # 24
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I feel for you.  We invited 175-ish with the goal of having 120 actually show up.  Now that RSVP’s are rolling in, more are replying no than yes.  And it’s not that I want a large wedding, but it makes me sad to know that people just don’t care.  We are both in our early 30’s and never imagined we’d find anyone who loved us enough to marry us.  It’s a pretty big deal to us as Christians that more people don’t want to support us in the start of our marriage.

My parents are paying and keep saying we’ll upgrade with the extra money, but I don’t even care anymore.  I’d rather have people want to celebrate with us.

Post # 25
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@starrynight- totally understand…we had a total lack of people too and we are going to do a few extras but it definatley sucks…I’ll post later after the wedding about how it all turned out.  Right now jsut don’t really care anymore.  (Which is great 3 days prior tothe wedding)

Post # 26
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

omg, im totally having the same freak out!  I originally thought wed have so many people to invite, but once i wrote it all down not only did we not have a huge number, but on top of it i’m sure alot wont attend as it is out of town for many people.  I have totally done everything to plan for a “big wedding” a big venue, large wedding party, etc.  I’m also worried that if i don’t get at least 200 people to attend it won’t have the same energy as 200-250 would have.  Don’t worry about what everyone else has to say if you feel its negative.  I’m also a little older (30) and have waited all my life to find “the one” and want people to share in it with me.  I guess the sucky thing, is that out of all the wedding stuff, who attends or how many isn’t something we can control.  Good luck hon, your wedding will be beautiful i’m sure!

Post # 27
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i totally understand. i’m really feeling that way in part because you do so much to put together an awesome event and you want people to be able to come and enjoy it! we invited about 350 – rsvp deadline next wednesday. so far 120 attending with 109 missing RSVPs. plus we’ve gotten “no” responses from local people who we assumed we coming as they are people we see all the time and they never said anything about not being able to come. we also want to do some cool things (like a lounge etc) that don’t make sense to do unless we have at least a certain number. so i’ll be dissapointed if we don’t get to do those things. i mean, the band costs the same whether there are 100 people or 400 people. and if i knew we were going to have under 200, there were MANY other venues i would have preferred, but we had to plan for at least the 300 we knew we were inviting at the time. and its hard not to take it personally – because really, they knew the date in february – anyone who really wants to come, will come. so its sad to feel like there are that many people who don’t want to make the effort to witness you marriage and party with you.

i do agree though with the seeing who your real friends are thing though. i have one friend who asked to bring a guest and when i said no (need to be consistent – married/engaged/relationship of 9+ months) she said she wasn’t sure she was going to come. that she’d have to “think about it” – still have yet to get her rsvp….

Post # 28
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I hear ya! I invited 80, but only 25 people came. Sent out 42 invites, but only got 28 back. I was really disappointed. And the only people under 40 that came were my 3 brothers and the 2 people in the wedding party. Not exactly a hip happenin’ group. But it turned out ok. I was still happy that day.

Post # 29
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I haven’t even sent out the invitations yet and already have these fears.  We are inviting 82 and feel pretty good about 55 of them, given that 80% of the list is out of towners.  It will hurt if it’s even less.

Post # 30
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

I’ve only sent out my save the dates and already I’ve heard what a crap day it is for people (11/26/10). 

I knew that there would be people who wouldn’t come but it still stinks hearing that. 

 

Hive hugs!

Post # 31
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I can empathize. 

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