(Closed) can anyone EMPATHIZE with small amount of guests disappointment please?

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 32
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I can totally empathize!

For us, it’s not a matter of people not being able to come; it’s that we just don’t have that many friends and it makes me sad!

I have never been super social.  I always had a few very close friends though.  I am sad now because those friendships have faded or fizzled and it’s both my fault and the fault of those friends… I have ONE friend, my best friend since junior high, that I can say for sure will be there.

I know I let real life get in the way and don’t nurture friendships like I should. We both do.  We are both older (30s), full time students who work, and have 3 kids.. there never seems to be any time.  I am also bad about pursuing new friendships.  My Fiance is very introverted, grew up in another state (moved here at age 16) and never kept up with old friends from school, so even though I have very few friends I have more than Fiance and that doesn’t say much!

Even our families are small.  FIs family is crap: abusive mother, nonexistent father, aunts and cousins who she is NOT close to because they just don’t value family.  She has ONE aunt who is awesome and will be there and maybe her paternal grandma (who she actually just met for the first time 3 years ago!). My mom is weird about us getting married, my father died years ago but he never would have come anyway (same sex wedding)… the only one I can count on is my big brother who was like a dad to me.

So even if everyone comes that we know, there is no way we’ll have more than 20 people total, and that’s stretching it and that’s if we invite people that are more casual friends (people we worked with before and the like), and since we are marrying out of state it’s still not likely that people will be able to or will want to travel for our wedding.

So yes, I know I should be happy that my best friend (who is like a sister) will be there, that my brother will be there, my FIs aunt who is awesome… and that those in attendance are going to be those who REALLY support and love us but it still makes me a little sad that it will be so tiny!

I guess on the bright side it certainly costs less!? Wink

Post # 33
28 posts
  • Wedding: August 2011

This is the thing I am MOST worried about. With my ENTIRE family living in New Jersy… we are in Fargo, North Dakota, we have NO idea who will want to make the voyage over here, and my FH’s family is very to themselves…. I have a feeling that our wedding is going to be the same way.

Especially after my FH’s sister’s  wedding last year… when they invited 230 people, and only 100 showed up, and then after the dinner… only 30 stayed for dancing. CRAPPY.

But alas… it is what it is… but it remains the most important day of our lives up till now! and we are marrying the men of our dreams… and there is nothing to complain about there!!! Smile

Post # 34
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t care how many people are there, though it’s going to be smaller than I expected – I’m mostly disappointed that a lot of my friends can’t come. I only have a few close friends and we’re all scattered around the country, so I was hoping they could all come and we would have time to hang out. About half of them can’t come, and I’m a bit sad. On top of that my second cousin is getting married the same day as us, but across the country (we’re not close so they weren’t being rude) so some of my family who might have come are going there instead. Most of FI’s friends (and he has a lot) are coming, which is cool. I like all of them a lot, but it’s not the same.

Post # 35
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

So some good news…After freaking out a lil bit about lack of people…the wedding was AWESOME and so was the reception.  Honestly it was a great time and the people who came I had a blast with.  It just seemed like the ones who mattered to us were really there.  I don’t know looking back if I’d change it or not.

Post # 36
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Miss Baz At least Fargo has more flight connections these days or they could driving in from MSP.   🙂  I grew up in ND, lived in Fargo for 4 years and most of my family had to come from ND for our wedding in NY.  Where are you getting married in Fargo? 

Post # 37
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

That is a real bummer.  My Future Sister-In-Law invited about 150 people, had 90 RSVP and only 75 show up!!!  I felt so horrible for her, especially about those who no-showed.

Post # 38
7768 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

My best friends live out west and work seasonal jobs, so they aren’t able to come.  They are the only people I really want there.  It’s sad!  But I know that day will be special for us all no matter what!!!

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