(Closed) Can anyone please help me calm down? :(

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
5219 posts
Bee Keeper

1) They’re 26 & 28, he is a doctor and she a dentist, they’ve been dating around 2 years and they’re recently engaged. It seems like a pretty legit timeline and even though you’ve been together with your SO for 6 years, at that stage in their life, I would consider 2 years a reasonable length of time to be engaged.

2) I think your SO is right about you being paranoid. What does an older brother of your SO have to gain by ” making you jealous” of all the attention he is giving his  girlfriend? It just seems like they’re a mushy couple. Can that be annoying sometimes? Sure! Does it mean he is doing it to rub it in your face? No. I would stop analyzing their actions, affections and just them in general and focus on how happy you are that they’re now engaged.

3) As far as the crying… I don’t really know. I’ll just piggyback off of point #2 and say that it really isn’t something you should be sobbing about. If you feel THAT strongly about a proposal, maybe you and your Boyfriend or Best Friend need to evaluate or establish a timeline for yourselves. You’re still young and in school, so instead of comparing your situation that of people a little older and more established than you— just be happy for them and have a talk with your Boyfriend or Best Friend.


ETA: I know you’ve established somewhat of a timeline already, but seriously…. you’re 23 and thinking ” when is my time going to come”, so maybe it needs to be refreshed. You’ve got PLENTY of time, don’t let other peoples milestones make you feel like your relationship isn’t valid enough. 6 years is a long time– you’ve accoplished a lot with him! You don’t need an engagement ring right this very second to prove that to anyone!

Post # 4
30 posts
  • Wedding: April 2014

First of all … HUG!! X

Reading your story is freakishly like my own lol! My Fiance’s brother and gf go on the exact same way…and I am at the point were i cant stand either of them and dont want them at my wedding! (but of corse they will be)

They are always competiting with us also, and he always seems to make me feel bad about myself and my relationship with my Fiance.

I had saw so many of my friends and cousins getting engaged before us, and yet we were the mature longer relationship! So I talked to my Fiance and told him how I felt.

If you have been with your Boyfriend or Best Friend that long I would defo talk to him about how your feeling, and i would tell him your ready for the next step.  You should feel comforatble to let it all out!

You both sound sooo sucsessful in your Education/carrer paths! well done!! I think you’s made the right choice to put that first before your plans! But now that you’s are at the end of graduation etc i would talk and plan your future!!

I hope you feel in some way a little better! Good luck xxxx

Post # 5
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The fastest road to misery is to constantly compare yourself to other people.  Set your own standards and timeline and be less concerned with how other people are pacing their lives.  Also, it sounds like you are rushing to get to “the next step”, but what is so terrible about pausing to enjoy the current step?

Post # 9
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

They are older. they have other priorites. If your Future Brother-In-Law and FFSIL are being mean then they can get intimate with a rooster. Just focus on your relationship with your SO. You are not in compatition with anyone else, even if people try to make you feel that way.

Post # 10
646 posts
Busy bee

@Sapphire-Dreamer:  intimate with a rooster…

Ive seen this in a couple of your posts today…anything you wish to share πŸ˜‰


OP- Agree with all the PPS….dont compare your situations. Ive been doing it all week and I feel like crap. Take it from an older Bee that is where you are now….

Post # 11
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@NYCkindaBee:  and @IrishBride14:  I totally understand where you ladies are coming from! I’m in pretty much the exact same boat as the two of you and sometimes I just want to scream! SO and I have been together for six years (actually today is our 6 year anniversary…) we started dating when we were 16 and dated through high school and all of college.  I swear everyone I know is either getting engaged, married, or having kids.  I’ve been to 4 weddings this year and although I adore going to weddings it is soooo hard to stay positive.

I do agree that its important to not compare your relationship to anyone elses because no relationship is the same as another… that said I understand how freaking hard that is!  The most you can really do is try to be happy for them and know that when your time comes that its going to be incredibly awesome and you’re going to know it was totally worth it to wait so long!

Mostly I just wanted to tell you you’re not alone and its not easy but you’ve got us to vent to! Good luck and stay happy!

Post # 12
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@mrssoontobeh:  Think about what would be slang for becoming intimate with a rooster. I will PM you if you are drawing a blank

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