(Closed) Can anyone reccomend a Church/Priest in NYC…

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

As I understand it, what you’re seeking is a convalidation, which takes your legal marriage a step further and binds it in the sacrament of marriage.  The reason your priest is asking you to live separately until the ceremony is because in the eyes of the Catholic church you’re not married yet and are therefore not supposed to be having any relations, and the vast majority of people (and priests) assume that if you’re cohabitating then you’re having relations too.

I know that the church cannot prevent two people from marrying for any reason, but I’m not sure if the same applies to convalidation.  It might be a good idea to get in contact with your bishop for some questions and answers regarding the process, and to determine if convalidation requires that you live separately or just requests it.  I’m guessing if you have a good reason to cohabitate (such as already having a child together or financial hardship) they might give you some slack if you promise not to have relations and then go to confession before the ceremony.

Sorry I can’t be more help than that!

Post # 4
708 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Our priest (in Brooklyn) didn’t even ask that. I am sure there are a ton of places in and around the city where you can find a priest that is not too strict. But, I also wouldn’t bring it up if you aren’t asked.

Post # 6
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think the key will be in your language as well.  Tell the churches/priests that you are already married and seeking convalidation within the church. 


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