(Closed) Can anyone recommend a pre-marriage book?

posted 8 years ago in Entertainment
Post # 5
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

The 40 Day Love Dare isnt really a pre-wedding book, but it’s a good book for improving your relationship at any stage. There is a “challenge” for each day and both of you are supposed to journal about that day’s topic/issue. It deals a lot with learning how each of you wants to be treated in the relationship, how to deal with conflict/difficult issues, etc. It’s based in Christianity and I think ties in to the movie Fireproof and they also have a website: http://www.40daylovedare.com/ 

I’ve never been to one, but I’ve also heard really good things about these retreats http://www.rickbrown.org/workshops.php

Post # 6
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I cannot recommend The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD enough!

I did a lot of research on marriage books after we got engaged, and this one came out on top for me. Gottman is the foremost researcher in North America on what makes marriage successful (or not). The information he presents is evidence-based, and actually refutes a lot of the principles that are typically taught in couples counselling.

I read the book and, after I finished it, discovered that it was the same book we would be using in our pre-marital counselling! It includes a lot of interesting quizzes and exercises that you can complete with your partner.

I’ve recommended it to so many people and think it will continue to be a valuable resource throughout our marriage.

Post # 7
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I’ve also heard the Five Languages of Love is a good one…

Our pastor made us read “Fit to be tied: making marriage last a lifetime” by Bill and Lynne Hybels. Honestly, the book made no big revelation or impact on our relationship. We really couldn’t relate to the couple, and felt like they were interpreting various bible verses for themselves. I finished the book, while my husband read only the first half on ‘engaged couples’. Don’t recommend it.

Post # 9
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

The Hard Questions: 100 questions to ask before you say I do.

Amazon.com: The Hard Questions: 100 Questions to Ask Before You Say “I Do” (9781585426218): Susan Piver: Books

Building a Love that Lasts by C and E Schmitz. They do a column for Psychology Today.

Amazon.com: Building a Love that Lasts: The Seven Surprising Secrets of Successful Marriage (9780470571545): Charles D. Schmitz, Elizabeth A. Schmitz: Books

The Gottmann book is also on my list.

Post # 10
1801 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We just got The Couple Checkup by Olson, Olson-Sigg and Larson.  We’ve only read the first chapter so far, but we like their approach.  They don’t give an example couple, it’s more tailored to the idea that each couple has their own individuality. 

I don’t know if they have a book out, but I’d suggest any work by McNulty, O’Mara & Karney.  They wrote an article for the Journal of Personality & Social Psychology on cognition in marriage that I used in a research paper.  It was a fantastic and interesting study on perceptions and the approach to argument and how it ties in with marital happiness.

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