(Closed) Can anyone relate?

posted 5 years ago in Money
Post # 3
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I can relate! My family has a lot of money problems. I developed good money skills in reaction to that.  They wanted to help a LOT with the wedding but coming from my more responsible perspective I knew that wouldn’t be a smart decision for them. I had to save them from themselves, if you know what I mean.

the best thing you can do is realize the greatness of the event isn’t totally dependent on how much money you spend. If you are creative it won’t make a difference, and I don’t mean finding creative ways to save. I mean focusing the day on the spiritual aspects of getting married (not necessarily religious!) and celebrating its deeper meaning… at the end of the day it will be much more satisfying to you and to your guests too.


Post # 4
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Clutterqueen:  It sounds like you either have to majorly change your ideas about this wedding (ie BEST event ever), or you just have to put this off for 2+ years while you get your finances lined up.

You mentioned that you’re getting calls from your student loans.  Does this mean you are not paying them at all?  Are you behind?  There are things you can do if you are.

I am more financially stable than my family members as well.  However, in the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t really affect your situation now.  My father was the worst with money out of any person I’ve ever known.  Now I’ve become the most responsible person with money I’ve ever known!  Your finances are your own; family doesn’t predict what you’ll do with your money.

Do you know your very basic income versus expenses?  And in do you have a positive or negative cash flow?

How does your fiance’s fiances look?  Is he responsible with money?

Post # 5
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Clutterqueen:  Ouch. You know that student loans report the longest on your credit score, right? 30 years, compared the usual 7. So if you’re not paying them, my advice is to start now. Did your college make you take a student loan seminar or anything like that before graduating? They generally do, and in those they talk about different payment plans….Like, if you couldn’t afford the standard 10 year plan, you could go on an income-based repayment plan. You pay longer, but hey, your credit isn’t screwed for the majority of your life. 

Talk to a financial advisor/credit advisor at your bank/credit union and see what you can do to turn around your credit. Right now, your focus shouldn’t be the wedding, but getting your credit in shape so that later in life you can buy a car, a house, get a loan if something unexpected comes up…..etc. 

For right now I’d work on saving up some cash so that you can have a modest affair that does not leave you in debt. 

Post # 7
2098 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Absolutely I can relate! We our paying for our event ourselves. The first thing we did was slice our guest list. After pricing the food alone, I said no. We are doing a small intimate wedding with seated lunch at an upscale restaurant. I’m very excited! I feel much less stressed. 

Oh & I’m paying student loans, one of which is behind due to nearly a year of unemployment. I don’t care about my credit score although its not horrible. Could be better I’m sure. But it’s not how I choose to define myself. 

Post # 8
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Clutterqueen:  Ok, well that paints a different picture than the first post!


So at the moment you’re working on building your savings and your credit.

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