(Closed) Can anyone tell me how to…..

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

That’s exactly what I would do! Have a celebration invitation for those that are not going to the wedding, explaining that you elected to have a wedding with family only, but that you want your friends to celebrate with you and rent out a room at a pub or something – I think it’s a great idea! Try a restaurant, too. A lot of them will give a room or a section and you could order apps for everyone and have champagne there.

Post # 4
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Is this after party going to be hosted or pay your own way? I hate to say it, but if it isn’t hosted, I don’t think there is a way to send an invitation, because what are you really inviting them to?

I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t invited to the hosted wedding, but then was asked to come out and pay for myself to celebrate your wedding.

Post # 6
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I think you could send out an informal invitation for a party.  Maybe just an email invitation or something so that people know it is informal.  But if you have a lot of people, you might need to reserve a room so that everyone can fit in the bar where you are having it.

Post # 7
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

What would you think about an email?  We recently were invited (by email) to attend an event in almost exactly this situation.  They just said they’d be getting married at the courthouse and then having dinner with their families afterwards, but would love if we would join them after that for some drinks.  They hosted the drinks, though.

I think however you invite people, though, you should indicate whether you are hosting or not, just to avoid confusion and awkwardness.

Also, I disagree with Jacqi, at least I think.  If I knew in advance that the celebration afterward was not hosted, I would go and I’d feel fine about paying for my own drinks, etc.  If I didn’t want to, then I wouldn’t go and I’d send a card/gift instead.  On the other hand, if I had the impression that the wedding was hosted, and then realized that it wasn’t when I arrived, I might be a little irked–it’s just one of those things that you like to know about ahead of time, you know?  I am just in favor of being clear on those things.  

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