Hi there @gangginjia- I actually have been to about as many lesbian weddings as straight ones and am planning my own with my fiancee.
Although we are both women, I wear dresses a lot at work and always imagined myself in a dress. I’m currently looking for a sweetheart, drop-waist dress with a dramatic fluffy bottom- not just a dress, a very feminine, curve-hugging, dress. My fiancee hasn’t worn a dress since college and while very feminine looking in some ways (long hair, petite, a God-given very feminine body) doesn’t like to be that feminine in her dress. She is looing to have a beautiful white suit made which will include a long, riding-style jacket, tuxudo pants, and a bustier top- kind of a mix of feminine and masculine.
Having been to many lesbian weddings- here’s a run down of the brides I’ve seen wore
1) Bride 1- simple white wedding dress, Bride 2- simple pastel yellow, prom-like dress
2) Bride 1- white wedding dress, Bride 2 white suite with jacket
3) Bride 1 white greecian inspired gown (changed to white pants, a button-down and white fedora) Bride 2- white lace dress with catherdral veil (changed into white sundress)
4) Bride 1 and 2- simple modern white dresses from the same designer that were similar, but definitely not the same
5) Bride 1- grey suit of a vest, pants and a button down shirt and tie, Bride 2- white wedding dress with high slit
I echo the other posters- people are wearing what they feel comfortable in. But I will say this- many people, having come out, are more comfortable withthe ways that they buck gender norms than many straight women. The decision then to wear a suit may not be as surprising for a lesbian woman, while for let’s say a straight tom boy there is even more overwhelming pressure to wear a white dress on your wedding day- even if you wouldn’t wear a dress on any other day. I think once you decide to live your life and be happily in a gay relationship, you free yourself of many other gender norms.
I can say that I feel free to wear a suit, or a colored dress, or be barefoot on the bear in khakis, and that I choose a dramatic and rather traditional wedidng dress, because that’s who I am. Likewise I wear a very large tiffany setting engagement ring with pave diamonds and my fiance wears a embellished tungsten band- all about what makes people feel their best on their special days. May you enjoy yours!