Post # 1
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
I know that we shouldn’t be dictating whether or not guests brings gifts, but… we have a few friends who are really struggling financially. Some of them we haven’t known for very long. I REALLY don’t want them to bring gifts. It would make me feel awkward; we’re hosting this elaborate event while some of our friends are struggling with student loans. I know people feel obliged to bring something, but I just want to let them know that a card is more than enough (I love cards!).
Would it be completely gauche to write something about no gifts on our website? If they really feel the need to bring a gift, fine, but I at least want to get it out there that we have 0 expectations.
Post # 2
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee
I feel like if you ask for no gifts, it’s going to make it sound like you’re asking for money instead of gifts. You could always register for a bunch of low cost gifts bc people will want to bring you gifts no matter what.
Post # 3
Member
4233 posts
Honey bee
My $0.02?
I’d probably prefer to see something along the lines of “since we already have two homes and most housewares to “join as one”, we’d prefer to receive gag gifts only to start off our marriage with as much laughter and fun memories as possible” as opposed to a “no gifts, please” request. My loved ones would not be shocked by the request, actually.
Post # 4
Member
1624 posts
Bumble bee
arathella: Just let your guests decide if they would like to give you something that is within their budget. I know your heart is in the right place, but I’d be offended if my friend rejected I gift I picked out for her because she felt I couldn’t afford it. Just like one shouldn’t dictate how friends spend their money, you shouldn’t decide how they save.
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This reply was modified 5 years, 9 months ago by molokoa.
Post # 5
Member
7887 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
On our wedding website, we stated we only wanted their presence at the wedding, and we still have people asking what to get us since there’s no registry. There will always be people who want to give you something to commemorate the event.
Post # 6
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
arathella: I would just not register. That way people don’t ask and if they do decide to it’s from the kindness of their heart and not because they see a coffee make on a registry or some honeymoon fund site.
Post # 7
Member
697 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: June 2016 - Akron, OH
You could be more specific with your guests in terms of your preferences. I’ve heard of people having their guests make a suggested donation to a charitable organization rather than gicing a gift. Perhaps you can let the guests know what it is youre looking for (ie: student loans) and just ask for ‘practical’ gifts and gift cards (you could always cash those in)!
Post # 8
Member
2304 posts
Buzzing bee
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
I would set up a charity registry where ppl can donate to charities of your choice. I tried to ask for no gifts, but my family was having none of it. So I set up a registry. Even with a honeymoon fund thing, which they also said “made it easy for them”. I donno, if I got nothing, I’d be fine, but ppl really want to give stuff.
Post # 9
Member
10220 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Yes, I agree with amandajane, be absolutely clear about your charity of choice and make it easy for them to access the website etc. Say it is in place of registry and how very happy it would make you .
Pretty much my whole family and friends have now been changed over to giving to Animal Welfare instead of of gifts !