(Closed) can I ask for RSVPs a month before the wedding date?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Rsvps are typically due back at 3-4 weeks before the wedding while the invites are sent out at 6-8 weeks before. So what you are asking/doing is completely normal and not strange in the least. In addition to setting up the seating chart, you will need to contact anyone who “forgets” to reply.

Post # 4
Member
4480 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Yes you can do that. I did, and most people were pretty responsive (we did have to get our parents to call a lot of their friends, though…)

Post # 5
Member
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I did!!  My wedding is June 26 and ours are due back May 28.  

If it makes you feel any better…We just got an invite (I kid you not) last week and the RSVP deadline was today for an April 17 wedding!!  (it was a SHORT engagement!).

Post # 6
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes you can I recommend doing so. I’m getting married the 19th! Almost date twins! I’m sending my invites out in April so they will arrive about two months before the wedding (around April 19th) and am requesting rsvps due by May 20th. I wanted to allow myself plenty of time to track down any missing rsvps and to figure out issues if they come up (people bringing dates who aren’t invited with dates, etc.). Then there is the seating chart, as you mentioned, as well. So yes, extra time is a good thing!

Post # 7
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Yup – I did this.  Our RSVP date is March 5th and the wedding is April 17th but we wanted a final headcount sooner to finalize the meals/rentals/etc.  And our venue requires final headcount for our last payment – on the 7th.  So really, you’re being smart by giving yourself wiggle room.

Oh, and By The Way – you’ll be surprised at who you’ll still have to track down.  Some of my BM’s are holding back on RSVP’ing in the hopes they “may” be seeing someone.  I’m sorry, but my wedding is not the senior prom, rustling up a date with a guy you barely know is not cool!

 

 

Post # 8
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think one month is reasonable. My Fiance wants us to ask for them 2 months is advance! Ya right! He’s concerned about the B-listers.

Anyone know when the B listers invites go out? When is it too late to send them out?

Post # 9
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are asking for them six weeks in advance.  This is mostly because I am guessing that people will be late sending them in anyway, so that gives me two more weeks before I have to start calling, which I am dreading.

Post # 10
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

We didn’t need a lot of time so we set our date 3 weeks in advance, well the first of March because we thought it would be an easy day to remember.  The deadline was yesterday and we are still waiting to hear from 24 of the 100 invites we sent.  GRR!  And thats not even counting the 15 or so people that I know are coming who didn’t send rsvps back.

Post # 11
Member
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

We set our RSVP date slightly more than a month ahead of the wedding. good thing, because we had to chase down some RSVPs. We have to let the reception site know how many guests we have two weeks before the date of the wedding.

Post # 12
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

we set our rsvp date 5 weeks before the wedding

Post # 13
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We had our RSVP date a month before the wedding and it worked fine.

Post # 14
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

we are! 😀

totally normal 😀

Post # 15
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Yep! That is definitely a good time. I wouldn’t personally go with anything closer to the date – you might have some late stragglers you need to call. Final head count is important!

Post # 16
Member
5154 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am!!

absolutely normal 🙂 a lot of people feel the exact same as you…plus this gives you time to call all the stragglers

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