(Closed) Can I ask my Day of Wedding Coordinator to do these things? What are you asking?

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
Post # 2
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

No, not at all. My WC told me (not day of, but still) that for the next year he is my bitch. In those words haha.

You hired her to take care of things you don’t want to, or can’t, be responsible for on your day. I’m sure youre paying her a decent amount, and that’s what she’s there for!

Post # 3
4041 posts
Honey bee

If you hired a day of coordinator, separate from the venue’s employment, I think you can ask all of the above. Ours was an employee of the venue and absolutely all that we needed to have that day. I would have expected her to provide the dish of appetizers, but not the other two wishes. 

Usually there’s a guest who will have a tote bag of bridal party purses, touch-up make-up, hair accessories, etc. For my two daughters, it was a mother of one of the bridesmaids. 

Post # 4
9699 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

I would have a Bridesmaid or Best Man or family member carry your purse because she’ll be busy running around taking care of stuff. By everything else is totally fine.

Post # 5
3036 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I don’t think  those are weird. Just make sure you TRUST HER. Especially with your cards (money in them?) and purse (i wouldn’t be leaving my wallet in it). 

Post # 7
1244 posts
Bumble bee

Why not have a chat with your coordinator and let her know what you need, then she can tell you what she can/won’t do? My coordinator will not handle the card box at all, due to liability, so we have to have a trusted family member do that. So best to have that discussion with her so everyone is on the same page with expectations.

Post # 8
3210 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

1234sophia:  did you have a frank discussion about expectations (on both of your ends) before hiring her?

If she is a coordinator that you hired, rather than the wedding coordinator employed by your venue, I don’t think your requests are out of line. However, most coordinators will have a list of services they provide, versus what they will not/cannot do (like the example of not touching the card box).

Post # 9
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My coordinator did all of this anyway – and a whole lot more! During dinner (when the vendors were eating as well), I asked her to sew up my bustle a little more because it was still dragging. I felt bad, but she was all don’t even worry, that’s what I’m here for. 

You should have a contract that gives you a basic idea of what she will and won’t do. Then have a chat with her – I had regular coffee meetings with mine starting about 3 months before the wedding (I only hired her for “day-of” coordination and a little help with the florist) where we would just chat and get to know each other and so she could get a good idea of the wedding plans and day and my expectations.

Post # 10
3388 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

All except #2 make sense to me. I wouldn’t have been offended to be asked to do #2 when I was a DOC, but I just don’t think it would have made much sense. If my job is to put out small fires and address issues before you know about them and wrangle vendors and the litany of other things that a DOC can find herself doing on the day-of, then having me hold your purse isn’t the best idea–especially during that period of time between the ceremony and reception. And it could lead to frustration for you, because very likely I’m not going to be in your direct line of sight at the exact moment that you decide you want to touch up your lipgloss. For example, one time at a wedding, the outdoor BBQ went out due to drizzling and I had to outside in my suit and pumps to help try to build a fire. I would’ve had no choice but to stash your purse somewhere and hope it’d still be there when I got back. I’d think it makes more sense to have your Maid/Matron of Honor or your mom to hold your purse. I’m sure either of them would be glad to!

Post # 11
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I agree with pp’s don’t ask her to carry your purse for you.  She needs to be as hands free as possible to take care of business.  Ask a bridesmaid or friend to hold it for you.

Post # 13
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Paying her to carry your purse around is a waste of money and it’s a waste of her time. Her time is better spent on the important things and the big picture, not in carrying your purse that pretty much anyone can do. 

Post # 14
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

I don’t think any of these are beyond the realm of possibility – she certainly shouldn’t be offended – but I suspect most of these could be better delegated to BMs. A DoC usually handles things like talking to vendors, making sure the DJ plays the right song for your big entry, handling minor catering crises, stuff like that. Asking her to carry your purse around, while not a bad request or something that’s too “bossy,” may not be the best use of your investment.

Can you ask an in-law or friend to handle each of those tasks?

Post # 15
1732 posts
Bumble bee

1234sophia:  Everything that you mentioned is 100% what she is supposed to do. Those requests aren’t even extra, that is what they are there for. When I work as a DOC we do those things without even being requested, so don’t feel bad 🙂

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