(Closed) Can I ask my Future Step MIL to NOT wear a certain dress??

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Can you have your fiance talk to her? I agree the dress is really loud (both pattern and color) and too summery for a fall wedding. Maybe he can couch it well. If she’s self-conscious then I’m not sure why she’d want to stand out so much.

Post # 18
Member
4831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@misskarianne:  So what if she doesn’t “mesh” with the other colors. I know it’d be nice to have everyone of the BMs, GMs, and parents “mesh-ing” together, but the only person who is going to notice if they aren’t are you (and maybe your FI).

Your guests may wear other bright colors that don’t “mesh” with the wedding, and your Future Mother-In-Law isn’t standing up with you at the altar so she won’t be messing up the cohesiveness of the bridesmaids.

I think maybe you could suggest a purple shawl, or as a bit of an olive branch you could tell her to get that dress and then buy her a shawl to wear with it as a pre wedding gift (and that way she’s not wearing a hot pink one).

It sounds like she does want to try and make you happy with what she wears, but if she is larger and has issues feeling comfortable in her clothes she might not be able to find something she feels as comfortable in that fits with your color scheme. 

Post # 20
Member
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

my future stepmother in law has a white top/black skirt she always wears to weddings. it’s a very bright, pearly irridescent white top. i’m gona have to have the talk pretty soon- hell no you can’t wear that to my wedding. noone being walked down by an usher can wear white. i’ll kill you.

let me know how this goes with her!

Post # 22
Member
4980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally I think it is a cute dress, and you really can’t tell a grown woman who is not standing up for you in your wedding what to wear. If she wants to wear the dress so what.  I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. 

Post # 25
Member
4831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@misskarianne:  Ok, if that’s how you really feel then that’s fine. I’m saying I don’t think she’ll look “off”. 

I didn’t tell my Future Mother-In-Law or Mother-In-Law what to wear and they both picked dresses that were not in our color scheme but it didn’t look “off” in the pictures, processional, or recessional.

I’m saying I don’t think the dress is that bad and could be accessorized in a way that helps it mesh more. But if you want to tell her to get another dress, you can, but it may upset her a bit. 

Post # 27
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Why does it matter so much what she wears?  She’s not in the bridal party, she’ll be in a few family photos… are you really going to be stuck on what she wore 10 years from now when you pull out the wedding album?  Is it worth being frustrated or possibly offending anyone?  I told both my mother and Mother-In-Law to wear what they love because I want them to feel beautiful and confident in what works best for them.  They’re not my bridesmaids, so why does it matter so much?

Post # 28
Member
4980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@misskarianne:  Your title of this thread, to me sounds like you are making a big deal out of it. In all honestly after your wedding is said and done, you are going to look back at this and wonder why you are stressing about the little things. 

I didn’t even see my Mother-In-Law dress until the day of my wedding and she wore black, it looked good on her and my colors had were navy blue, silver and white…

Post # 31
Member
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You can ask all you want, but don’t assume she’ll listen 😛

She’s a grown woman, and it’s her money, and she’s not actually “in” your wedding party, so really she can do whatever she wants. Be happy she even asked.

Also, don’t feel bad for giving your opinion…she asked you for it.

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