(Closed) Can I ask my Future Step MIL to NOT wear a certain dress??

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 34
2041 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@misskarianne:  Exactlly 🙂

I think PP are right….in the grand scheme of things this isn’t a huge deal (even though it may seem like one now). She obviously cares about you to ask for your opinion, and if her dress isn’t 100% “appropriate” it really only reflects on her.

My advice is be happy she cares enough to ask for your opinion, as most FMILs wouldn’t, and feel comfortable voicing it, but if she still gets the dress just learn to live with it.

Post # 35
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Really, orange isn’t a fall color?  And I’m also pretty sure I’ve seen shades of fushia in a fallen leaf before.

You asked for opinions and you seem upset that you’re not getting everyone in complete agreement with you.  In my opinion, and it appears some others feel the same way, this is a small and petty thing to be making an issue of, obviously enough of one that there’s tension or else you wouldn’t be asking for people’s input on it.  That’s great that you don’t think you should feel “bad” and I’m not saying that you should either, but I don’t think the dress is as bad as you are thinking it is, nor do I think it’s necessary that parents of the couple need to match the wedding party. 


Post # 37
1017 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

It’s not a bad dress at all. It goes with your colors very well and I think the suggestion to add a shawl or cardigin to be excellent. It is not at all unusual for the MOG dress to be a print when the bridal party has solid colors. I have seen it many times.

Post # 39
1187 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No. You would be out of line to tell a grown woman what she can and can’t wear. I don’t see a problem with the dress, let the woman wear whatever she’s comfortable in as long as it’s appropriate it shouldn’t be an issue.

Post # 40
3625 posts
Sugar bee

I think that the colors do go with everything else, but if you really are unhappy about it, I bet she’d appreciate your honesty (if you have a decent relationship). If not, maybe let your Fiance handle his own Mom and have him tell her he doesn’t like it. It might be easier coming from him, and she’ll rethink it.

Send her some more options and she may fall in love with another one. I ended up buying 6 dresses and got a different one the week  of the wedding!

Post # 43
946 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That dress has purple EVERYWHERE in it.  When I first looked at the photos, I thought, “Oh, that print goes so nicely with the other dresses”. I actually thought the dress you were worried about at first was the one that your mom is wearing, because it’s almost the same color as your bridesmaids and I would think you would be worried about her looking like an aged bridesmaid. But, getting off topic…

I say, let her wear it! It’s a pretty dress, and if it’s flattering on her, then that is all that should matter. Plus, keep in mind that at no point in time when she’s standing or walking will the dress be blown out at the sides like in that picture. Even the pattern is less obvious and less obtrusive in the photo where it’s allowed to just fall naturally.

I would go back to her and tell her the truth- tell her the more you thought about it, the more you thought it would be a fine choice and to go ahead and order it. 


Post # 44
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Just note that your interpretation of “fall colors” is subjective.  But glad that you’re thinking it’s less of a big deal!


Post # 45
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Honestly I never understood the idea that parents have to match the wedding colors and bridal party. IMO parents aren’t props, their guests of honor. As long as your step Mother-In-Law feels great, who cares whether the dress is matches exactly? Save your veto power for things that are really inappropriate and just go with the flow on anything else.

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